Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from January 18, 2012 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options January 18, 2012: The Human Wikipedia

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Artist Approx. start time
Ken & Andy  0:00:00 ()

Listener comments!

  Wed. 1/18/12 6:01pm G:

seven seconds isn't nearly long enough to put this off
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:03pm Matt from Springfield:

7SD: Where the safety is NEVER off.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:03pm Robert:

let me guess what "The Human Wikipedia" means. It's like one of your "puppet" shows, but each phoner-in is going to modify the lines Andy or Ken previously had to deliver -- and they have to MEMORIZE the original and the changes! Right?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:04pm Big Brother:

How do you spell your last name, Andy?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:05pm Robert:

So is it to be WiKen or WikAndy?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:05pm Danne D:

Andypedia has "Go To Hell" for a lot of entries
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:05pm Matt from Springfield:

Sorry Andy, guess you have to beat up one of the cool kids before you can get their seat.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:06pm Danne D:

New Show - L7-Second Delay
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:06pm Maya Rudolph's Whitney Houston:

Danne Dddddd!!!!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:06pm Robert:

Please let it be WikAndy; he can't remember for shit.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:06pm G:

I've heard of this. A neighbor of mine was a Wikkan.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:07pm Danne D:

lol
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:07pm Matt from Springfield:

Hi Danne!
Even though we already established that anyone who still uses "L7" is L7?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:08pm Danne D:

Hey Matt :)
That line of thinking is L7, btw
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:08pm steve:

http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/16614865/ns/us_news-life/t/woman-dies-after-water-drinking-contest/
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:08pm Matt from Springfield:

Isn't this ANOTHER old episode? Where they talked about/or checked to see if a condom really can hold a quart? :)
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:09pm Matt from Springfield:

@Danne: Not if you're merely quoting from "Wooly Bully"!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:09pm -max-:

It's smart to be cool.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:09pm Sammi:

It is dangerous to drink a very large volume of water. It causes hyponatremia (did I spell that right? I can't look it up on Wikipedia). It dilutes your blood plasma.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:10pm Caryn:

@Matt: if it was an old episode, it's only because they've blocked their new content to protest SOPA. But it's a new episode, so...
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:11pm Danne D:

So Andy is either gonna keel over from drinking too much water and holding it in - or from tragic consequences of a 4-hour erection.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:12pm G:

@Caryn: Haven't you noticed? Even on fresh episodes, they always have filters in place to block any content from being broadcast.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:12pm Matt from Springfield:

Yeah, none of us want to endanger our relationships with Ken's girlfriend(s)!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:12pm Danne D:

Andy sounds much closer to the actual Wikipedia based on their self-styled definitions.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:14pm G:

He's andymodulating!!!!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:14pm Caryn:

Andy, if you can't even remember your phone number straight away, I question how effective you're going to be as a human Wikipedia.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:15pm Danne D:

Distortion is another feature of wikipedia. Really replacing Wikipedia could be Andy's new job.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:16pm Lizardner Dave:

I really wish we were still in the FCC-paranoid Ken era right now instead of hearing about Andy's erections.

Hopefully someone will revive the octoroon-centenarian bit.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:16pm Danne D:

The Watergate breakin' - that's what's gonna happen next week when the condom andy wears fails
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:17pm Caryn:

@Danne: Hah!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:17pm Matt from Springfield:

@Danne: Ho ho!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:17pm Matt from Springfield:

640? Ha, like to see Andy make it HALF that far...
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:18pm G:

ZINGER question, ha ha
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:18pm Lizardner Dave:

Gotta listen to the rest on the archive, goo night and remember it's cool to be smart.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:19pm Caryn:

Dave lost the will to listen. That's a 618. So right on schedule.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:20pm Matt from Springfield:

See, L.Dave didn't even make it to the 20 mark!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:22pm G:

Each answer comes with a free shaker of salt.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:22pm giraffe-o:

This is the greatest episode of 7SD ever.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:23pm Matt from Springfield:

Qashqai, maybe?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:24pm giraffe-o:

They must be reading from the Canadian Wikipedia mirror
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:24pm Listener Dave From Seattle:

I'm wondering how much water a middle-aged man can hold?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:25pm Matt from Springfield:

TWENTY-SEVEN!!! (In the US and UK, judging by the 27 tracks on the Beatles "One" album, IIRC...)
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:27pm Wikipedia:

If only our entries were this awesome.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:27pm Caryn:

I love how Andy and Ken talk nonsense for a while after the question so they can look up the answer on imdb.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:27pm conrad:

I seem to recall Blacula getting hit by sunlight and turning to dust.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:28pm pierre:

Whoa, i can post comments through the wfmu app !
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:28pm Wikipedia:

@conrad: Killjoy.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:31pm Matt from Springfield:

The 99%, fighting the Aristookracy.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:31pm Danne D:

lol Matt

It's amazing - this is 100% consistent with what my friend told me.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:32pm Aharon:

True fact: The Arostook War was also known as "The Pork and Bean War."
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:32pm Listener Dave From Seattle:

Wow, these guys are really smart!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:32pm Matt from Springfield:

Awesome pierre! When I had a smartphone the WFMU app is the first one I'm getting!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:32pm conrad:

I think Andy was referring to the sequel "Scream After Being Hit By A Helicopter Blade, Blacula, Scream!"
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:32pm Danne D:

I thought he was making stuff up.

That's pretty cool Aharon :)
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:33pm Danne D:

Rubio backed off on his support today as well, btw
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:34pm Danne D:

Not sure where Rubio stood on the Aristook War
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:35pm G:

The central problem is that most politicians are always too busy planning how not to lose their election to have the remotest idea what is involved in any substantive legislation they vote on.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:35pm Danne D:

Random fact about another FMU remotecast - Nardwuar gave the fastest reply ever to me of any e-mail I ever sent. He also comments during the show usually.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:35pm Aharon:

I also believe Aroostook County used to be #1 in the US in potato production. But don't quote me on that.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:36pm Danne D:

Aharon knows about all stuff beginning with the letter "A"
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:37pm Caryn:

No blood was shed during the Aroostook War. Blacula must have been disappointed. An American land agent was captured by Canadian lumberjacks, though. I wonder if they sang the "Lumberjack Song" to him?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:38pm Danne D:

Twitter fans - check out @herpderpedia 's retweets today. Here's an example: "@RagerRock: @Wikipedia I miss u soo much..FUCK THE GOVERNEMENT FUCK FUCK FUCK YOU YOU YOU UUUUUUUUUU FUCK YOU UUUU AHHHHHHHHHH!!!"
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:38pm DRUM BATTLE:

Abort This!
www.youtube.com/watch?v=doyuvsmfXlg
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:40pm Danne D:

WFMU listener's are awesomely smart. They even know the correct spelling of Aroostook apparently.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:40pm PMD:

You just breathe through your mouth, not your nose!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:40pm Danne D:

(Don't bring up the Aroostook War with Nardwuar though, I guess)
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:40pm PMD:

So, Ken, what I'm saying is that I can do it too.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:41pm G:

@Danne: DOOT DOO
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:41pm kat330:

Now THIS is interesting: Ken with a special muscle that can shut off his olfactory nerve.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:42pm kat330:

Ken must have dogs.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:42pm Sabbath Queen:

PASS THE MATZOH, BITCHES
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:42pm Caryn:

@Danne: or the Dutch. Their king came up with a compromise that the British accepted, but the Americans refused right before sending troops to the area. They still hold a grudge.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:42pm Batman:

I took the day off in protest of SOBA and PIPA, why can't Ken and Andy?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:42pm Bob the Shark:

Ken, nose-gill man. Get out of the water.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:44pm Danne D:

Does the phrase "Go Dutch" come from this proposed compromise?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:44pm Matt from Springfield:

Andy knew that by heart, or at least something sounding like it! He was probably once trying to write a period comedy on suffocating a mistress with one's weight.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:44pm glenn:

rosebud was what's her face's cooter.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:45pm Matt from Springfield:

@Danne: I heard it's because the Dutch really do go Dutch when dining.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:45pm Caryn:

Shouldn't you say "spoiler alert" before revealing the end of a movie like that?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:45pm glenn:

my question - what .n.h.l. record does darryl sittler hold?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:46pm Matt from Springfield:

20 years of a radio show, in 4 words: "verbal strangubation gone bad".
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:47pm Lauri:

lmao :D
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:47pm G:

The English and Dutch were commercial, naval, and military rivals in the 1600s, so there were many anti-Dutch sayings in English. Some survive today.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:47pm kat330:

Not so great aural sex.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:47pm Bruce F:

Yes. The best SSD I've heard. It's actually very funny.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:48pm Caryn:

Yeah, "go Dutch" is thought to be rooted in the Anglo-Dutch Wars, and the outcrop of English expressions that perpetuated negative stereotypes and images about the Dutch, like "Dutch courage". But the Dutch do tend to "go Dutch". They also LOVE gardening.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:48pm moose:

aw i like will's times editing
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:48pm Eat My Shortz:

Will Shortz is a misogynist!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:49pm Danne D:

Have to jet out early. Hope you guys have a great night! Thanks for the info on the Dutch, English, and Aroostook
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:49pm G:

Agreed. The ridiculous improvised trivia is more engaging than the planned-to-fail premise shows with their long pauses over and over.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:49pm John McCabe in L.A.:

UCB show idea:have the audience get in a line and kick Andy in the butt. I actually came to me in a dream.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:49pm Danne D:

Great show - this is the best studio show in quite a while.
Take care
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:50pm giraffe-o:

Boobs Radley sounds like a character from 'To Hump a Mockingbird"
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:50pm G:

@Caryn: Little known fact: not all prejudicial generalizations are the opposite of empirical reality.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:52pm Matt from Springfield:

@Caryn: Tulips!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:52pm Pete the licker:

I read on the internets that it was the captain of the ship doing a favor for the head chef that wanted to please a facebook fan.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:52pm kat330:

My measure of it being a good show: It's actually more entertaining than the playist.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:53pm kat330:

ooops, playList, bocoors.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:53pm Pete the Flicker:

Damn keyboard... it's Flicker, not Licker!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:53pm Sammi:

Ken the woman died because of the volume of water she drank NOT because she didn't pee. Pee in your bladder is uncomfortable but does you no harm physiologically. But drinking water in excess can dilute your plasma and you can die.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:54pm lewis:

what about the .org? itscooltobesmart.org...
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:54pm G:

hi from Typo Heaven, people
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:54pm PMD:

@Pete, I was wondering...
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:54pm Caryn:

@G: well, of course. A generalization tends to be rooted in a fact of some kind.
My knowledge of the Dutch mostly comes from the time my dad lived there and I stayed with him.
@Matt: yep. Look up the tulip mania & "tulip wars" of the 1600s if you want to know how far the tulip obsession went at its height.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:55pm Matt from Springfield:

Except that there's no money to be made from the 7SD audience, in fact there are several situations where Ken and Andy have to GIVE money to their fans.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:55pm G:

@Caryn: Lots of people have trouble with that truth.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:56pm PMD:

Yay! Nick!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:56pm Matt from Springfield:

LOL, great perverted jokes tonight!
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:57pm Caryn:

@G: The Scots themselves joke that copper wire was invented by two Scots fighting over a nickel.
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:57pm Pete the Flicker:

PMD, Wondering what? Oh, never mind:-)
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:57pm G:

The Tulip Bubble in the 1710s/20s was one of the first modern speculative boom and busts...
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:58pm John McCabe in L.A.:

I would like to look up "Norflax Oxdun Sidetower" on Wikipedia
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:59pm G:

Actually, the Tulip Bubble was the 1730s. I was confusing it with the South Sea Bubble of the 1710s/20s. Where the fuck is wikipedia when you need it to check something?
  Wed. 1/18/12 6:59pm Caryn:

Norflax Oxdun Sidetower? I hear that and just think Moses Hightower. I've seen too many 80s' comedies.
  Wed. 1/18/12 7:00pm G:

1630s. Proofreading would also help.
  Wed. 1/18/12 7:01pm kme in chi:

godspeed, you black andy!
  Wed. 1/18/12 7:17pm sid from white plains:

AB's tumescence gives new meaning to " Upright Citizen"
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