Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from July 5, 2017 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options July 5, 2017: Make Waze for Ken and Andy!
Ken does traffic updates every 180 seconds. This is for listeners without access to Google Maps, Waze, etc. The traffic info comes from any caller that is on any road. PMS warnings, parking reports, and black bear alerts are also collected. Andy dials in via Skype (due to a fake feud he is having with someone on Ken's staff).

Some traffic reports come in from faraway places like Melbourne, Boulder, Montreal, Vermont, and Boston! Most calls however are local, coming from roads such as Route 46 in Clifton, Prospect Avenue in South Orange, Route 3 near Route 7, Route 91 into NYC, Columbus Rd in Jersey City, Route 280, the BQE, Gowanus Canal Bridge on Hamilton Ave, the Tick Tock Diner, 23A in the Catskills, the Garden State Parkway, Elizabeth, Boonton Ave in Kinnelon, Route 15 in Sparta, and Route 22 in Hillside.

A Greatest Hits roundup wraps up the show, with Ken delivering the final traffic update like a searing Eric Clapton guitar solo.

In other topics, Ken recounts how earlier in the day, Andy butt-dialed him from his Masturbatorium. Andy remembers seeing his first tow truck. And the billboard has been reserved! Kickstarter campaign to follow.

Recap by Andrew M.

Listen to this show: MP3 - 128K | | Add or read comments

Artist
Ken & Andy 

Listener comments!

Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 7/5/17 6:03pm dale:

it sounded like he moved from inside a car trunk to his masturbatorium
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 7/5/17 6:04pm common:

It did, dale.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 7/5/17 6:05pm common:

Forbidden zone!
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:08pm Ken From Hyde Park:

The butler was evidently messing around with Andy's phone during Andy's nap.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:09pm PMD:

Let's get to it.
Avatar    Wed. 7/5/17 6:10pm herb.nyc:

"Mom, I was in the Dave Clark 5. Yeah, my name's Dave Clark!".
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:11pm Ken From Hyde Park:

I'm getting the idea here that Andy's mom doesn't listed to 7SD. Now how can that be possible?
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:12pm PMD:

Yes, that's why I suggested a bulletin board in another state. At that time I was poo pooed
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:13pm Sebastian:

voting...that always works out fine!
Avatar Wed. 7/5/17 6:16pm jgrosch:

Reporting that the traffic on north bound 101 at Marine Parkway is bumper to bumper
Avatar Wed. 7/5/17 6:18pm Aitch:

Also in Australia, steering wheel on the correct side here. Morning traffic here VERY busy on Victoria Rd in Sydney.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 7/5/17 6:19pm howard in nyc:

I must admit, that was the perfect first call for this facacta idea
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:22pm PMD:

Wait, we need a weather update too. That's what the guy promises.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:23pm PMD:

@jgrosch - we can just assume that
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 7/5/17 6:23pm dale:

pregnant ladies need a wide birth.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:24pm PMD:

Menopausal is also something to be alerted to.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:25pm Nick the Bard:

christ, i know quinn in real life and i thought she was some kid driving a power wheel (or stole their parents car and was driving around)
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:28pm Ike:

A billboard is exciting! Will the billboard be visible from the PATH train!? You can see some of those I-280 boards from the train.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:29pm Sebastian:

Ken has a pretty good standard-radio-voice
Avatar    Wed. 7/5/17 6:29pm JakeGould:

@dale: Lamazing!
Avatar    Wed. 7/5/17 6:31pm Will from Seattle:

I don't think they'll say this is radio from the Caucasus region either
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:32pm Ken From Hyde Park:

In a future episode, callers can dial in and report the whereabouts of traffic copters.
Avatar    Wed. 7/5/17 6:33pm Fredericks:

Driver, Route 280 still had to go past the billboard site just in a different direction, right? Or are the lanes no where near each other and if they aren't why do they have the same number?
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:33pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Bloomfield is Greg's old zone, isn't it?
  Wed. 7/5/17 6:34pm Jack:

It's PALE enville. Palenville. PAIL enville.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:35pm PMD:

Did his son buy my old house in maplewood?
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:40pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Listeners from North Korea can call in to report status updates on their nuclear missile program. Could there possibly be a fatal flaw with that idea?
     Wed. 7/5/17 6:41pm Listener Robert:

Obviously you should recommend that deserted road in Vermont as an ALTERNATE route for people stuck in traffic on the others.
     Wed. 7/5/17 6:44pm Listener Robert:

Quick, use Google Maps to construct an alternate route that uses that road. Once you're on it, you don't even have to steer! It may take a bit of a detour to get to it from Australia, etc., but the investment of time will be worth it in the long run.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:47pm PMD:

yay Ken!
  Wed. 7/5/17 6:47pm Boron:

steve from boulder needs to start buying decaf
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:53pm Kat in Chicago:

I'm going to be in that area of Montreal in August. Sounds like I chose my hostel wisely.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:54pm Sebastian:

man, Andy is psyched
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:54pm Ken From Hyde Park:

7SD idea: The Cooking Show. WFMU staff has a week to leave various ingredients in the WFMU kitchen. Listeners call in with a selection from the list and an instruction of what to do next. Result: a crowd-sourced entree or dessert item.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 7/5/17 6:55pm dale:

the chatterbox is overpriced and underwhelming foodwise. BUT - they had a hostess with downs syndrome and i love that!
  Wed. 7/5/17 6:55pm J. Jonah Venuture:

Between the 'P.M.S.'-related misogyny and the casual talk of killing hippies, it's great to be reminded that certain ways of thunking are actually, really, truly, <em>deplorable</em>, they are wide-spread, and the tumour occupying the Executive Mansion and the well-heeled savages running the Congress may be exactly what 'we' deserve.
     Wed. 7/5/17 6:56pm Listener Robert:

Love your idea, Ken from Hyde. Maybe it could be expanded to beverages.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 7/5/17 6:56pm dale:

go a few miles further north to the sussex airport diner. you may even get to catch some parachutists floating down
  Wed. 7/5/17 6:56pm shulgi:

how ya gonna keep em away from broadway?
dancin around paintin the town
  Wed. 7/5/17 6:57pm Chucktown Dan:

Ken , you have found your calling .
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:57pm PMD:

He forgot Australia
  Wed. 7/5/17 6:59pm thekenschlampen:

did u get that thekenschlampen cd yet
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:59pm Sebastian:

Nice one, thanks guys
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 6:59pm Ken From Hyde Park:

@Robert - Thanks. Crowd-sourced cocktail may work even better. Baking food in an oven might not translate into good radio.
  Wed. 7/5/17 6:59pm andrewb:

homerun boys
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 7/5/17 7:00pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

Ken: If that guy whom you told to clap had got into an accident you could easily have lost the station. Don't fuck around like that, please.
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