Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from October 21, 2020 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options October 21, 2020: You're Better Off: Ken and Andy Dissolve Your Regrets

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Listener comments!

Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:04pm melinda:

Hello Ken and Andy
Avatar 6:04pm khd:

go 2 hell
  6:04pm wfmu listener phillip:

I was asleep in the next room when my mom died back in 2009. can I be forgiven?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:05pm Rich in Washington:

some people process work stress differently. Who among us can judge, truly?
  6:05pm ami ad:

Hello DJs. Hello all. check it out.
  6:05pm BH:

Toobin wouldn't have had a problem if he was doing a radio show while doing that
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:05pm ultradamno:

But aren't election simulations always kind of a circle jerk?
  6:05pm Matthew:

Going to switch over to hot 97 now so I can hear professional jag offs talking to themselves.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:06pm Patty D:

I wish I had a beautiful fact checker, it would save so much time getting to know each other.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:06pm melinda:

The Toobin dick reveal seemed to weird to be true.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:06pm Rich in Washington:

Right, ultradamno! He was trying to be accurate!
  6:06pm wfmu listener phillip:

excuse me! fapping is a normal part of Male sexuality. we as men all need to fapp to a happy ending.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:07pm melinda:

*too
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:07pm Jim the Poet:

I like fish
  6:07pm ami ad:

Did Andy loose any pounds due to the situation?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm Jim the Poet:

I want to be in a band!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm ultradamno:

Good bands? What is this, a jazz show?
  6:09pm There is no greater hug:

Fact checkers never fake an orgasm, but they won't geive you a break. If your fact checker likes you it's a compliment.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:09pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

Science school alumnus here. A disproportionately large fraction of extremely smart women are extremely hot by vanilla, bog-standard, societal standards.

Note: "The Big Bang Theory" is a goddamn minstrel show.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:11pm melinda:

Morris Dancing!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:12pm Rich in Washington:

@(Murakami Whywolf))): the missus and I recently echoed a similar sentiment regarding BBT - that one day it won't have aged well.
  6:12pm There is no greater hug:

What happened to Andy as an "Idea" person?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:13pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Right around January 20 may be a good time for a dance party. There just might be something to celebrate that day.
Avatar 6:14pm Fredericks:

So this show is called "Wednesdays with Kenny."
Avatar 6:14pm Chud:

Did the soaking already happen?
Avatar 6:15pm Folsom:

Soak is next week
Avatar 6:16pm Folsom:

Ken says probably around 6:15
Avatar 6:16pm Chud:

Beauty, thanks Folsom
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:16pm tim from champaign (now washington):

Keep the River on Your Right?
Avatar 6:17pm ledzeppelinsucks:

How does the tribe use the stupid cliche 'on a scale of 1 to 10'?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:18pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

I'd thought that all peoples had at least '1,2,3,many'; maybe I'm wrong.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:18pm tim from champaign (now washington):

What was the name of the book?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:19pm ultradamno:

Wouldn't a road paved with gold be a slipping hazard?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:20pm dale:

is this a penthouse forum call?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:21pm dale:

people who practice yoga all the time let loose with flatulance constantly. you chose wisely my brother.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:22pm ultradamno:

He still sounds haunted by the error in not going full yoga.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:23pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

Rich in Washington:
A case in point: that television show made Mayim 'Stupid Child-Raising and Vaccination Theories Despite Her Degree' Bialik look much more conventionally ugly than she is in order to make her like a stereotypical 'genius girl'.
  6:23pm wfmu listener phillip:

how about tying up the phone line when doctors needed permission to give my father a pint of blood to live, and then he DIED:(::::
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:24pm dale:

i dated an older woman once and it was cool when i was in my 20s and she was in he 30s. but to imagine me at 60 and her at 70 now is horrifying.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:26pm dale:

philip - true story?
  6:28pm wfmu listener phillip:

@dale a true story. a friend called from germany april 12th when my dad was in hospital. he died that day apr 12 2003.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm Handy Haversack:

This seems like a good board to solicit opinions on the best hard-boiling methods for eggs. Thoughts?
  6:30pm There is no greater hug:

As in jazz, there are no wrong decisions in life. if something goes wrong you modulate into it amd then continue to win relentlessly.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm dale:

phillip - that's a downer. sounds like it was his time though. you didn't kill him. you should call in with this one.
  6:31pm wfmu listener phillip:

Eggs? sorry I have an allergy to them.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:32pm ultradamno:

I contest the idea you have to know what you're doing to put permanent ink on a person. Many prisoners can attest to this.
  6:33pm wfmu listener phillip:

I shoulder the burden of having both mom and dads death on my conscious.
  6:33pm There is no greater hug:

Put salt in the water. It acts as a coagulant for cracks in the eggs.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:33pm dale:

and all those nazis putting numbers on jews hadn't a lick of talent amongst them.
  6:34pm ami ad:

@wfmu listener phillip: probably should check them ramen packs. sorry for everything.
Avatar 6:34pm Folsom:

@Handy I heard pressure cookers work well
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:34pm ultradamno:

Not to mention the NXIVM branding technicians
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:35pm dale:

phillip - you should blame their passings on age or disease. not yourself.
  6:35pm wfmu listener phillip:

I bought a ton of ramen packs. I lost my food stamps in September
  6:35pm Tom:

Kens mic Peaking!
  6:35pm ami ad:

my grandma had a nazi tattoo
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:37pm dale:

ami ad - glad she was alive to share that history with you. did she ever discuss it?
  6:37pm wfmu listener phillip:

kidney failure killed my dad he had diabetes. heart failure killed mom. never got lung cancer from smoking. and they smoked
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:37pm ultradamno:

Brett The Barber of Bushwick sounds like a sequel to Sweeney Todd.
  6:38pm wild neil peace all:

handy
cover eggs with 2 inches of water and start water on high.
when water is boiling turn off and cover for twelve to fourteen minutes.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

Handy Haversack:

Firstly, use slightly older eggs, but none that float to the surface of cold water or nearly, the latter are bad.

Secondly, get the water (enough to cover the eggs plus one inch more) hot, then put in the eggs, as a coagulated area just under the shell helps it retain integrity even if cracked. Salt doesn't help much in coagulation, but some people swear by a bit of vinegar, as acid in small doses tightens-up proteins' (_You_ make the L.S.D. joke, I'm bitter.)

Thirdly, boil the hell out of them for up to fifteen minutes, as I hate soft-boiled egg and don't care about green yolks. Your preferred time may vary.

Fourthly, take from the bath of boiling water and plunge into ice-water.
  6:39pm ami ad:

@dale:thanks,yes,some what. i got her number on my arm a few years ago.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

The Beamin' Barber of Bushwick
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm Handy Haversack:

wild neil, that's been my method for years, yeah! Thanks. I had an accident the other day that resulted in some of the finest eggs I ever had, though, and I don't know how to re-create it.
  6:39pm wfmu listener phillip:

HOLY SMOKES! did ken just say "beating his meat"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm dale:

paul ruben rhymes too.

ami - that's sweet.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm mrdonutsu:

Did someone write that down?!?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm ultradamno:

At least he confined his activities to an adult theater.
  6:41pm ami ad:

4560
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:41pm Handy Haversack:

Ha, love the commitment, Whywolf!

That ice-water bath is crucial, I think.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:42pm melinda:

I like the Peanuts dance
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:42pm dale:

ami - do records exist with names to those numbers?
  6:43pm There is no greater hug:

I've been reliving many decisions I made a long time ago, that I had no idea I was even making at the time. They were good and I don't even know why.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm ultradamno:

Damn Apple TV stole the peanuts Christmas and the dance sequence.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm Asheville Jon:

When will the soaking of Andy occur during the Hellraiser Marathon?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:45pm ultradamno:

Is there anyone to check Andy's assertions about fact checkers being laid off?
  6:46pm hendrix wolfbat:

Isn’t she regrets having to ask him boyfriend for permission for anything LOL
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:47pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

wfmu listener phillip:
Another possible consolation:
Answering the phone when people call you is generally a good idea and may have brought you good things, and is generally held to be a good habit. Would your father have wanted you to make a habit of ignoring phone calls, which would in life have included his? That the consequences were extremely bad in this case is just bad luck—and one ought to be humble enough to feel that one does not have any special destiny protecting one from random, bad, events.
  6:48pm There is no greater hug:

I know a limerick with "Maturbatorium" in it.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:49pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

Handy Haversack:
> Ha, love the commitment, Whywolf!

I'm a perfectionist because I'm extremely lazy, so if I'm going to do anything it'd better be done perfectly…a character flaw, but one I'm unlikely to shake.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:49pm Handy Haversack:

I understand entirely, @Murakami Whywolf.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:50pm ultradamno:

Procurer
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:50pm dale:

is there video footage of this masturbatorium guy doing his thing?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:51pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

Many a fact-checker is burdened with a 'suitcase pimp' living off them, until the day they acquire a second suitcase and the fact-checker insists that they be called a 'suitcases pimp'.
  6:51pm There is no greater hug:

The modern cinematic emporium
Is far from the merest sensorium
But a highly effectual
Heterosexual
Mutual masturbatorium

The modernist zoom exorium....
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:52pm ultradamno:

I think that was today.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:52pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

The local cinematic emporium
Is more than a super-sensorium
But an highly effectual
Quite omnisexual
Mutual masturbatorium
Avatar 6:54pm Fredericks:

Did he say Hammercore?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

My version improved from Gershon Legman's "The Limerick", whose chapter "Abuses of the clergy" is the best.

There was a young choir-boy of Devon
Who was raped in an hay-stack by seven

High Anglican priests
The Lascivious beasts
—OR—
Itinerant monks
Libidinous skunks
—OR—
SouthRON Babtist preachers
The lecherous creatures

('For of such is the Kingdon of Heaven.')

(I think there are five to ten other, alternate, middle, couplets.)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

Beep beep.
Beep beep.
Its horn goes 'beep beep beep'.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm Asheville Jon:

cool! one week to sell a bunch of stuff and then SOAK ANDY with the profits!!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:00pm Ken From Hyde Park:

You will not regret soaking Andy!
  7:01pm P-90:

Thanks, Gents
Avatar 10:30pm Folsom:

For Posterity - the limerick

a horny old journo named toobin
was giving his willy some lubin'
while beating his meat
his joy was complete
until he recalled he was zoomin'
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