Options The Fuzzy Glove Hour with Ken and Andy: Playlist from September 2, 2020 Options

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The program formerly known as Seven Second Delay, and The Happiness Hut. Ken and Andy, also known as The Enema Boys, further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards on a weekly basis. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options September 2, 2020: Andy Gives His Daughter Molly a Driving Lesson

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Listener comments!

Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:05pm PMD:

Any use that megaphone!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:06pm full metal monkey:

Really glad the intro to this show is ten minutes long. I was able to go to the liquor store and not miss a thing
  6:07pm ami ad:

Hello there. First thing to do in a car is tune the radio to 91.1fm.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:07pm brainiac:

I was told there would be pandemic pandas given away.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:07pm PigeonsAndRust:

Wow, so few comments
  6:07pm paddy in matawan:

drink of choice, @monkey?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm full metal monkey:

Vodka
  6:08pm johnzo:

Im guessing somebody already said "don't listen to anything your dad tells you" right?
  6:08pm BH:

Remember, don't be so nervous, other drivers are probably worse than you.

Also, don't drive through large areas of standing water, and if you do drive through water, you probably have to go all-in with your mistake.
  6:08pm ami ad:

I read somewhere there would be pandemic pandas given away.
  6:08pm paddy in matawan:

it's f'n vodka maaaaahn
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:09pm full metal monkey:

@paddy. Lol.
  6:11pm johnzo:

a frisbee could be followed by a hippy, andy's probably in favor of hitting those...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:11pm full metal monkey:

Here’s some driving advice. Exit the road onto any random lawn. Slam the wheel in one direction and floor it.
  6:12pm BH:

the one time I got into an accident, I made sure to take cell phone photos of the situation.. fortunately it wasn't a pain in the ass because I wasn't at fault and the other driver actually admitted that she was at fault for making a left turn off of the drivers-side headlight of my car
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:13pm full metal monkey:

Squirrels are worth 10
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:13pm dale:

tell molly she needs to check the oil in the electric car.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:14pm dave wuz here:

righty tighty, lefty loosey
Avatar 6:14pm khd:

go 2 hell
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:14pm brainiac:

Keep the shiny side up, Molly.
  6:14pm Listener Robert:

While stopped at a light, I got into a bumper bender. The driver who rear-ended me offered me $50 cash. I should've taken it, even though the damages were severalfold greater. He said, "Look how bad MY car is fucked up." It was, but considering I'd been stopped several seconds and he'd rear-ended me...! Turned out his insurance was phony, registration was phony -- a nonexistent address -- and I got bupkis after taking the time to get an estimate.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:14pm bnowb:

I wonder what a Monk Covid episode would look like.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:15pm Andrew_in_WI:

My advice: Dont be afraid to give someone the finger if they deserve it.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:16pm dale:

robert - in ny you have to have 'uniinsured motorist' which covers you if you get in an accident with a deadbeat. i always find that ridiculous because i'm paying for insurance to cover ME.
  6:17pm flashbazbo:

So, this is going to be a “family” show? OK that’ll be on me. Life goes on.

Here’s my idea for a show. It seems that listener/supporter personal boundaries, and humanity have been suspended. So, listeners might want to know more about exactly what’s up with you folks now. If listeners are going to be dog whistled, insulted and exploited to support dim or infantile announcers, and failing formats, then what you need is a station wide Fuck-Off. Think about it. How do we know about the sexual lives of the staff, or what the genitals, and secondary characteristics of the staff are like, in terms of aesthetics, as well as just the raw numbers? What happened to transparency? You are an essential societal function. You know what’s another essential societal function? OK, then.

It can be a tournament. You have 64 employees, like the NCAA. (Clay and Fabio have real jobs and so would be exempt.) If there are any issues about fidelity or “propre”, they can fight, or they can fuck themselves. Oddfellows can (fight or) fuck themselves. You can have 3 rounds a day, over two days to get to the final round, on a Monday night. It would be possible for someone to fuck themselves 6 times in 2 days. Let me know if you want any suggestions for who. It might be character building.
  6:17pm BH:

my home town has different fines based on how many miles over. So going 15 over is a fine of $102 and going 16 over is a fine of $132.

Going 26+ over just says "Court".
  6:17pm Listener Robert:

That was in NY, but UI motorist coverage doesn't cover body damage. Or at least it didn't decades ago when this happened.
Avatar 6:18pm khd:

i haven't owned a car since 1996...
  6:18pm paddy in matawan:

told a tamale?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:20pm dale:

molly - don't assume because you have a green light that some idiot won't drive through his red. slow down through intersections and look each way.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:20pm tim from champaign (now washington):

Molly is funnier than Andy.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:22pm Tommy in Neversink:

Been watch a lot of train hopping videos on the youtube lately. Very cool stuff
  6:23pm Listener Robert:

That was my idea for model railroads many years ago: that an optional piece would be a hobo riding the rods underneath. If the train went over a trestle, you could make him fall off spectacularly.
  6:26pm Bobbert:

you have very good ideas robert . go talk to jeff bezos .
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:27pm Rich in Washington:

My wife and I recently had a disagreement about something we remembered from driver's ed/driving test: that you could fail parallel parking and it wouldn't affect your test at all. I swear I remember being told this.
Ironically, I totally aced parallel parking without even trying,all while driving a gigantic '77 Pontiac LeMans.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:28pm brainiac:

Rich, you truly live a charmed life.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm Andrew_in_WI:

Picking up hitchhikers is a great way to meet interesting people.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm dale:

i thought asians were the worst drivers.
  6:29pm Listener Robert:

2nd fastest is usually a good strategy, but there were times on the Sprain Brook Parkway when the police would pull over a whole train of speeders.

The testimony of others confirms Andy's experience: that the cops in Ohio are very strict at ticketing speeders as they enter the state, turn over lots of $.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm dale:

andrew is on to something exciting....
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm dale:

make sure you have windshield washer fluid.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:31pm ultradamno:

That the absolute truth about old men wearing hats, especially if the hat is all you can make out. George Carlin had a great line about cars where you couldn't see the driver at all.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:31pm Dave in Vermont:

put a towel down on the seat
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:32pm chris:

before covid, hitchhiking was actually a workable transportation option in my area.
  6:32pm Rich from Red Hook:

Excellent advice. I always strive to be the 2nd fastest. And always try to hit triple digits when you can for little pockets on the BQE. And beware of swerving cars.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:34pm dale:

this caller has it all wrong.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:35pm full metal monkey:

Andy is this still your show
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:35pm dale:

fail with two andys.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:37pm dale:

in high school that happened to someone i knew. plowed her car into the other lane.
  6:37pm wfmu listener phillip:

the best advice I could give to molly is. hire someone to drive you. your rich! hire a personal driver
Avatar 6:37pm khd:

thats really good advice - the wheel turning
  6:38pm wfmu listener phillip:

Andy is a rich man right? why cant ge hire a driver for his daughter molly
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm Tommy in Neversink:

If your drinking a beverage KEEP YOUR EYES ON THE ROAD when picking it up or putting it down. Learn to do it without looking at it . If your gonna drop it , let it drop . If you have hot coffee let it cools some before consuming it
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm brainiac:

Aren't Andy & Molly technically in Livingston? www.google.com...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm Tommy in Neversink:

....you're not your
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm dale:

you also don't have to roll your windows down further than you need to give them your license. they are hoping to sniff out some pot.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:41pm chris:

never consent to a search, ever. if they have a warrant, they don't need to ask.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:42pm Tommy in Neversink:

Dale , if your windows are partly down they will get the concentrated pot smoke, if they are fully open it will air out faster
  6:42pm ami ad:

Helps to tell state troopers your a veteran of some "friendly" army.
  6:42pm Rich from Red Hook:

More excellent advice. The card works amazing but you must be confident when presenting it with your drivers license. I once was going 93 in a 45 and the cop actually called the police officer who gave me the card. And I got off.

Molly how is the driving going?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm dale:

tommy - i'm not talking cheech and chong level smoke here.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm ultradamno:

Well, that's like something out of Red Sparrow.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm chris:

extra points for learning to drive in reverse while towing a trailer!
  6:45pm BH:

I'm pretty sure I passed a drivers exam because I didn't hit anything while failing at parallel parking
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:45pm Tommy in Neversink:

Dale..lol
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:45pm full metal monkey:

I went backwards and back into time once.
Avatar 6:46pm khd:

RAMMING SPEED
  6:47pm Listener Robert:

After years of having no license, I took the driver's test again in NJ in 2017. Things changed since back when. Now they want you to use your mirrors and keep both hands on the wheel while backing up. Also remote controlled passenger side mirrors make parking very close to the curb feasible. Passenger side mirrors, with no remote control, were only an option when I got my first license.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:48pm dale:

call someobody. but not while you're driving. so pull over. but don't.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:50pm dale:

bed stuy - that's a party town there....
  6:50pm ami ad:

Yes,better stay inside while in bed-stuy.
  6:51pm Listener Robert:

Seriously, when I got my license in IL in 1976, the driving instructor was very emphatic to NOT rely on the mirrors, but to turn around and use one hand on the wheel.
  6:52pm BH:

years of turning around to pull out made it weird when I got a car with a rearview camera
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:52pm BnowB on the BMX:

Don't hit the BMX kid.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:54pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

Back during the days of Jim Crow, black motorists on long trips often did bring a tent for the road-side with them because even in the North restaurant and gas station owners often delighted in denying them a bathroom.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:54pm chris:

sorry, BMX kid :(
  6:55pm Listener Robert:

Come to think of it, that was in 1978, not 1976. I was 24. I got glasses later that year, was pretty nearsighted when I got my license.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:55pm BnowB on the BMX:

haha
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:55pm brainiac:

Sounds like Mr. Hall was a bastard.
Avatar 6:55pm khd:

route 66 was a notoriously racist highway
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:55pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

Best advice: if you hate driving, or are bad at it, don't. Just don't; all the good places to live have good public transport and/or are bicycle-friendly.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:56pm mrdonutsu:

"If you're riding down the road, and you see a small animal on the road - you HAVE TO HIT IT" soundcloud.com...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm chris:

some fucking asshole down the street slashed some of my guests tires, and some of those guests didn't know how to change tires, so i helped. so, WORD, Ken.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm PMD:

OMG don't let Molly's friends in the car with her!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm PigeonsAndRust:

I had to change a tire yesterday! First time in years
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm Handy Haversack:

Molly: The Roy Cohn-ish eyes of an assassin.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm dale:

i had to pull the tire off our van to take to the tire shop. had a screw in it and soapy water said it wouldn't hold air long enough to get to the tire shop.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm VT Knit Girl:

tried to call in. hey, my advise, dont worry if you don't pass the first time you take the test.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:58pm Sweet Corn Lizzie:

Andy, make her change the tire for practice.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:58pm dale:

get a cordless impact. you can't remove lug nuts with what comes in the car. IF you even get a spare or jack and tools.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm Matt Fiveash:

Roadhouse: still imparting new life lessons, year in and year out
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm chris:

used honda accord - my first car. took me all of two months to crash it. yay, me.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm (Murakami Whywolf)):

Advice: It's spelt 'tyre'—Noah Webster was a fink.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm PMD:

The dog likes the music. Or likes that the show is over.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm Handy Haversack:

Word, Matt Fiveash. Word.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm dale:

no one said ass gas or grass?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm full metal monkey:

Great show. Take care everyone. Thanks Andy Ken and Molly
  7:00pm Listener Robert:

Molly's 15 and her giggles still light up the show. Awww.
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