Options The Fuzzy Glove Hour with Ken and Andy: Playlist from March 18, 2020 Options

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The program formerly known as Seven Second Delay, and The Happiness Hut. Ken and Andy, also known as The Enema Boys, further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards on a weekly basis. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

Wednesdays 6 - 7pm (EDT) | On WFMU | 91.1, 90.1, 91.9 FM & wfmu.org
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Options March 18, 2020: The Silver Lining of Coronavirus

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Listener comments!

Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:01pm dale:

evening. has andy got the help to come in and sanitize the masturbatorium?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:01pm full metal monkey:

Ok let’s get this ridiculous show going. Hello Ken and Andy.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:02pm geoff mcq:

*assumes brace position*
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:02pm DJ Guin:

Always look on the Bright Side of Life...whistle whistle whistle whistley
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:03pm Dave in Vermont:

i am so glad we don't have to hear the theme song
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:03pm full metal monkey:

Yeah that theme song is like 20 minutes long
  6:04pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Is this the censored version?
  6:04pm Earth Walker:

This is to cool. I commented earlier
Always look on the bright side of life !
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:04pm Handy Haversack:

There must have been a moment when we could have said "no" ...

Evening, all! I already had nachos, so not sure what my escape valve would be tonight!
  6:04pm queems:

oh lord
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:04pm brainiac:

Please get the live video stream up again, Ken. To give us all proof that you're, you know, alive
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:04pm dale:

shit - there. it's been said.
  6:05pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Yes yes it is the censored version
  6:05pm morphe':

Wow.. extreme times - new tune!!!!!
almost frightening...
ps Thanks Ken SERIOUSLY - for all yer work
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:05pm People Like Us:

life's a piece of blank
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:05pm Handy Haversack:

Truer words, @People Like Us!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:06pm Dave in Vermont:

when you really look at blank
  6:06pm Jett:

Ozzy did it!
  6:06pm yippie:

eat a bat. doesn't sound kosher
  6:06pm Earth Walker:

Hey Morphe
How’s it going
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:06pm DJ Guin:

Is it too soon to ask people to add WFMU to their Last Will & Testament?
  6:06pm upstairs dave:

This is the strangest of all kismets. I've been singing that song to myself all waking day. I will now watch the film
Avatar 6:07pm cuteCloud:

  6:07pm queems:

spoiler alert!!!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:07pm melinda:

Is Contagion worth watching when you're actually in the middle of a pandemic, or is it scary and depressing?
  6:08pm Earth Walker:

Howdy Handy
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm Handy Haversack:

Worth watching, I think, Melinda.

Hey, Earth Walker!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm DJ Guin:

@melinda..the Goopster DIES in the opening 10 minutes...so, it is more akin to a Fantasy, than Horror
Avatar 6:08pm cosmic matrix:

hi melinda. cosmic matrix hunkered down!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm brainiac:

@melinda: It's gotta be better than "Pandemic"
  6:08pm Gary Nodge:

Not true
The bat in Contagion dropped a piece of fruit, the pig ate it, paltrow ate the pig at a casino in Macau

Spoiler alert
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:08pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Pro tip: Velvet paintings can be used as emergency toilet paper.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:09pm melinda:

hi cosmic!
Avatar 6:09pm cosmic matrix:

yo melinda!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:10pm full metal monkey:

The silver lining. I’ve been stoned out of my mind all week.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:10pm DJ Guin:

@Gary..if I recall..the Pig was named Richard, or Dick for short, so Paltrow ate Dick in the film
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:10pm melinda:

I predict an uptick in reusable pee-wipe stock.
Avatar 6:10pm cosmic matrix:

they closed the school where i work(ed). lots of free time now.
  6:10pm Dave Miss:

When does Andy stop doing the Al Goldstein shtick
Avatar 6:11pm Danne D:

I assume Ken has like a 3-year supply of cannabis at all times
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:12pm melinda:

Even 40-60 is considered higher-risk than under 40.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:12pm full metal monkey:

Hoboken locked down lol
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:12pm brainiac:

@Dave Miss: It's the only one he's got
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:12pm Handy Haversack:

Ooops -- my sister is on the phone ...
Avatar 6:12pm Jennica:

YES! It's the PEOPLE I'm worried about.
  6:13pm CC:

my mother was born in 1931 she still drives all over the place goes into stores and invites the family over for card games and babysits the kids..!..you can't tell her what to do!!!
  6:13pm queems:

use the drive through window andy god
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:13pm DJ Guin:

"I just can't."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:13pm dale:

melinda -stick with films about giant creatures from nuclear testing like them and giant gila monster.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:14pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Endorse the check to WFMU and send it to Ken. Solved!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:14pm dale:

don't they deduct money for sgt bilko?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:16pm melinda:

I went to deposit a check at an ATM and couldn't because I didn't have my account number, so out of practice am I. The only ATM for my credit union is right outside the building so for years I've just walked in.
  6:17pm morphe':

Handy - in response to my Large shopping bag decoy Vs Madrid police (FYI - I make no contact with people - just walking. I am crazy but careful).. But, HANDY decoy schemes.. In the late 80s I smuggled punk cassettes and fanzines from A'dam into
E. Berlin and Praha...
PunkSpyKraft:In case of gov't pursuit, always wear glasses and a hat(to be discarded in a side street) Always wear a bright shirt (red, pink blue) already ripped up the back
with a white T underneath, carry a book behind in yer trousers like a 357 in a film.
Fleeing the MAN/WoMAn.. find a side street..change the git put the book in yer hand and walk directly into the pusuing cops... It worked once.. Luckily i only had to do it the once..
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:17pm DJ Guin:

@Melinda..take a pic of it..deposit thru your Smartphone
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:18pm melinda:

@DJ it might come to that but I'm trying to minimize apps.
Avatar 6:18pm Jennica:

@morphe': whoa!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:19pm DJ Guin:

the station should play the Emergency Broadcast System tone during this time slot.
  6:20pm queems:

oh shit i’m a single occupancy listener
  6:20pm morphe':

Earth.. I will send you (email) a great Weasel Kane story I just remembered today about being on beach Bay 14?? Riis Park after an all nighter in Bay Ridge bar.. Skinflints??? to yer email..
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:20pm ultradamno:

People who live with others call this station? What?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:21pm Doug in JC:

Why don't you take the light rail, ken?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:21pm brainiac:

@DJ Guin: An excellent idea for a new show for a open time slot on the Ichiban stream
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:21pm melinda:

I like that there is a loner hotline.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:22pm G:

To channel someone like Courtney T. Edison:

Thin the herd. There's yer damn upside.
Avatar 6:22pm cosmic matrix:

Ha Zane! Wonder if I'll see you at CCG this year!
  6:23pm CC:

the Spanish Flu started in the winter and spring and subsided in the summer and came back in the fall after it morphed into something more terrible and that's when it killed people...
Avatar 6:26pm cosmic matrix:

@CC damn.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:27pm Handy Haversack:

OK, it's after 6 PM, I have talked to family, and Andy is talking about WWII -- I'm allowed to start drinking now, right?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:27pm ultradamno:

We're all together in the best way; far, far apart.
  6:28pm Dave Miss:

Ken, You said you would never forget.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:28pm Handy Haversack:

@morphe': You're a tactician!
Avatar 6:28pm Mailman Tom:

3 days of mourning when JFK got shot.
  6:28pm queems:

nobody walking around??? wtf, out by me people are all over the damn place taking walks and biking
Avatar 6:28pm Danne D:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm p20:

@Handy Haversack: You have my permission. In fact, I'll join you.
  6:29pm JakeGould:

Hurricane Sandy and 9-11 were immediate events and then it clearly receded into recovery. Now with this Coronavirus stuff it’s dead with no clear end in sight.

Also, the deadness and silence in some areas during the day is even deader and quieter than 3:00am.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:29pm dale:

yes - unemployment is such a HUGE amount.
Avatar 6:30pm Danne D:

I might go out for a little while - trying to carefully stay across the street from every damn person.

Thought I actually walked 9 miles yesterday b/c I got my car fixed and couldn't go to a starbucks or anything to wait for the repair
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm Handy Haversack:

Whew! Thanks, @P20!

It's *love* of money that is the root of all evil -- according to the literature.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm melinda:

@queems same here, it's like a Saturday with all the walkers and joggers on the Back Cove Trail.
  6:30pm CC:

I wonder if they're going to do anything special with all the homeless people???
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:30pm Handy Haversack:

Yeah, fairly bustling in my neighborhood. And the gentrification construction crews are taking no time off!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:31pm p20:

@queems: here (Chicago) the streets seem pretty quiet. Most of the people out walking are walking dogs, or walking to/from the store for survival supplies
  6:31pm ignatatus666:

That lady had no silver lining.
  6:31pm queems:

found the total moron
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:31pm melinda:

I saw a lot of people walking around with grocery totes.
  6:32pm ?:

it's HIS world! back off!
  6:32pm JakeGould:

@queems: It depends on the neighborhood. In Union Square it’s relatively dead… Like only the farmer’s market stuff and the homeless and occasional real people. But in an hour or so it will be utterly desolate.

@CC: They are ignoring the homeless and there are a few folks I have seen on the subway who were very aggro: One guy punching the train doors when he only got a few dollars and another shouting, “I’m, going to f**king kill somebody if I don’t get money for tonight!”
Avatar 6:32pm Danne D:

WTF this guy doesn't poop?
  6:32pm Die Fledermaus:

28, healthy and stupid.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:33pm dale:

andy is like dale robertson in charlie tonight - savant x 10!
  6:33pm Die Fledermaus:

All the s*** stays in his head.
  6:33pm queems:

FYI they buy the good toilet paper at wfmu
Avatar 6:33pm Danne D:

Queems is correct
  6:34pm morphe':

Handy - I said HANDY decoy schemes because in Ireland - HANDY has a very good meanibg = anything unusual that works well (a piece of string, holding up a hose so it does not leak in the cow shed)- Folks say - "Jesus, that's really HANDY..
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:34pm Handy Haversack:

I earmarked all my pledge dollars to toilet paper rather than specific shows.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:35pm Handy Haversack:

@morphe': Good to know! Would that I could live up to it!
  6:36pm bloodyturd:

Pet peeves? I don’t like the word peeve.
  6:36pm queems:

@handy i’ve actually done that
  6:36pm Die Fledermaus:

The heartbreak of psoriasis.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:37pm Handy Haversack:

@queems, because you're a pro!
  6:37pm queems:

strep throat is 100% bacterial, what the hell is everyone smoking tonight
  6:37pm Eric from Lake Hiawatha:

Strep is a bacteria
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:37pm p20:

@b*t*rd: I think the word is designed to get on your nerves. Like onomotopoeia but conceptual.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:37pm full metal monkey:

I’m smokin diesel something
  6:37pm Die Fledermaus:

Seboreah was that band with the guy from Dinosaur, Jr.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:38pm Handy Haversack:

Viruses don't work on bacteria.
Avatar 6:38pm Marshall Stacks:

Right. Streptococcus bacteria. Time for a new doctor?
  6:38pm bloodyturd:

Pet peeve: I don’t like how people call sherbet, “sherbert” or how they turn height into “heighth”. Those are some word peeves of mine.
  6:38pm JakeGould:

@queems: You are shocked that WFMU listeners have crazy to dubious to horrible health advice?
  6:38pm Die Fledermaus:

If you're looking for sound medical science on FMU...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm p20:

@fmm: Space Dawg in the haus
  6:39pm P-90:

Penicillin and Amoxicillin are the antibiotics usually used to treat strep throat
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm dale:

i've recently learned to peel over ripe bananas from the bottom srump.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

Streptococcus is a bacterium; penicillin was insanely efficacious against it at first, then some versions of it learned how to pump it out. Azithromycin, I think, is still considered the first-line drug for it.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:39pm full metal monkey:

P20. Nice
  6:39pm castor:

People have to realize that about 3,000 pple have died in Italy so far, not just the elderly, and it will be thousands more, because folks there didn't take it seriously soon enough. They are 10 days ahead of us, and we are even less prepared than them to help all the sick people. But you know what? Maybe we deserve it, better for the future of the planet indeed. The Boomer Remover is the earth fighting back!
  6:39pm Dave Miss:

Queems is right.
  6:39pm annette:

tv on. sound turned down. video taping the newscasters with ken and andy's voices in backround.
  6:39pm CC:

if you have a h pylori count that is extremely high you're also at risk!!!
  6:39pm JakeGould:

It’s times like these I am very happy to have cut off “health nuts” who have advised me to drink my own urine.
  6:40pm queems:

@jake i’m not shocked, just disappointed
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm full metal monkey:

I think I might be too high right now for this show
  6:40pm morphe':

True Science - no joke .. It is me Morphe' but no joke ..SERIOUS Strep Throat can turn to Scarlett Fever = Heart Aliments... and death ... My father's young brother died as such in Ireland ..This is true.. Not arguing for ANTI_BIOTICS ..but caller - do take care
  6:40pm Die Fledermaus:

Make a hotline for Doomsday Preppers!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:40pm PMD:

Fake lemonade or fresh squeezed
  6:40pm JakeGould:

@queems: Hate to say this, but these days will really make people realize who their friends are and who the loons are.
  6:41pm Marlon:

I too am excited for my political opposites to die, they're such jerks
  6:41pm bloodyturd:

Pet peeve 3: when NASA is pronounced as “nasau”. By a dummy.
  6:41pm ignatatus666:

I was in Chinatown and Brooklyn all last night up until 2:30 this afternoon. I can’t say in the late nights there was much of a difference for a Tuesday night. In Brooklyn there was no difference at all( East NY)
Battery park (West Side Manhattan) no difference at all. Midtown was missing bar patrons entirely.Lower East side all the smaller market/flower shops were still open. All the .99 pizza joints were open and Papaya King was open
I also went to the Ridgewood Pork store today, they were open and most establishments appeared open.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:41pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

Can you stand even one minute of Clay Pigeon? He adds extra 'sh' ('ʃ') sounds all over the place, it's like sand-paper (80 grit, wet/dry) on my eardrums.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:41pm Dave in Vermont:

by only listening while doing the show you may be lacking objectivity
  6:42pm queems:

@jake i agree, i’m sick of everyone’s shit
  6:42pm bloodyturd:

Pet peeve 4: when someone cradles food in their mouth and talk around it.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm full metal monkey:

The wheels are off this bus again.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm p20:

@b*t*rd: that's a pretty solid set of linguistic peeves. i share most of them, especially "heighth"
  6:43pm queems:

i definitely had scarlet fever when i was a kid. serious business
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm dale:

this was a bus?
Avatar 6:43pm Marshall Stacks:

Scott Paper went bankrupt in 1995. If only they knew what a bonanza awaited them.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:43pm dale:

felt more like a go kart.
  6:43pm bloodyturd:

I like clay pigeon, to be fair I’ve heard his show once ish.
  6:44pm Listener Robert:

At least Scott didn't burn up like Marcal.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm p20:

@b*t*rd: oh, you wouldn't like eating with me. i am guilty of talking with food in my mouth. i know it's wrong. but i like to eat and i like to talk and sometimes i don't like to wait.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:44pm full metal monkey:

Skateboard at best. Maybe
  6:44pm queems:

i’m psyched to be living alone because a. i don’t like anyone b. i know who i’ve been in contact with
  6:45pm CC:

Jeremy and I are in quarantine we are only seeing my mother at a safe distance!!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:46pm brainiac:

I am flabbergasted that people actually say "supposably" when they mean "supposedly"
  6:46pm P-90:

I hear that the bespoke disinfectant works GREAT on bicycle wheels
  6:46pm CC:

Lysol or a cheap disinfectant spray works well!!!
  6:46pm annette:

dont attack Clay. he would not judge you. we enjoy his midwest verbal personality. you are outnumbered . now say you are sorry.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:47pm p20:

@Murakami: I find Clay's voice comforting. Not saying you are wrong. Just that we are all very different and are annoyed by different things.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:47pm brainiac:

Rubbing alcohol and bleach: When blended, this combination makes chloroform. Not such a good idea.
  6:47pm Listener Robert:

Of course that Marcal fire was widely anticipated and expected to be profitable. What good is insurance otherwise?
  6:47pm bloodyturd:

Pet peeve 5: when someone clicks from the back corner of their mouth after explaining something to you and they give a slight wink or finger point as if saying “and bob’s you’re uncle” that other annoying European saying. I’m sure if I lived over there it would have made my top 5. But it kind of did make my top 5 just now.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:47pm melinda:

@queems me too, hoping my isolated lifestyle works in my favor.
  6:48pm bloodyturd:

P20 I’d love to eat with you.
  6:48pm queems:

@melinda me too! take care of yourself!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:48pm PMD:

What's the not living alone number?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:48pm p20:

@Murakami: But I wonder, how can you stand Andy's voice?
  6:49pm queems:

this show is wild tonight, i have no idea what is going on
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:49pm full metal monkey:

What just happen on this show
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:49pm p20:

@b*t*rd: aww that's sweet. maybe when this whole social distancing thing is over.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:50pm full metal monkey:

@queems. Yeah where are we
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:50pm melinda:

Tolerance of atheism definitely varies be region and community.
Avatar 6:50pm Ignatatus666:

I think the DJ you referred to is basically in Character when he speaks like that. I’m not defending him. We will not like every DJ and vice versa. Same with other listeners on the chat.
  6:50pm Die Fledermaus:

Somebody tell the Chinese elites about science. They think eating bear testicles will give 'em a big woody.
  6:51pm morphe':

Disinfectant - i generaly use just water but in these days - I sometimes use my organic window spay cleanser coming from outdoors =3.29 euro for a litre of mist..
  6:52pm bloodyturd:

Ignatus666: yeah no prob.
  6:52pm bloodyturd:

P20: see you then.
  6:52pm queems:

i’m missing 2 weddings next month so that’s something
Avatar 6:52pm Ignatatus666:

@P20 I like Andy’s voice when he loses .17 cents online gambling
  6:52pm JakeGould:

@DieFledermaus: And Americans believe Spanish Fly makes women horny.
  6:53pm CC:

if you mix stale beer Epsom salt and blue mouthwash together that's supposed to keep mosquitoes away???
  6:54pm bloodyturd:

Pet peeve 6: when someone at work still says “it’s hump day” all enthusiastically looking around excited that they said the things that everyone is saying.
  6:54pm morphe':

I will defend CLAY.. he is great - like the best of the best - is is super honest and sincere and loving and kind AND he can also be super goofy and silly and not woried about criticism... We fly with the Pidge!!!!
  6:54pm annette:

liverwurst is the answer.
  6:55pm yay:

deep cleaning and deep cooking
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:55pm melinda:

@morphe' I'm with you.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:55pm p20:

@morphe': yeah he's a lot better than these two nut-jobs that are on now :)
  6:55pm bloodyturd:

Stephen hawking didn’t have anything wrong with him, he was just really, really lazy.
  6:55pm flashbazbo:

Petrie having a good time
  6:55pm CC:

Democrats are loving this because Republicans are acting like socialists more than ever!!!...lol...
Avatar 6:56pm Ignatatus666:

The listener has a pet peeve with a speech pattern of that host/DJ that’s his personal pet peeve. He didn’t mention anything bad about that DJ
  6:56pm Die Fledermaus:

@JakeGould Only Bill Cosby at this point!
  6:57pm morphe':

P20 - there was a great FMU dj named William Berger - now dead - he always said - "if not happy...change yer station..."
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:57pm p20:

If you feed your pet peeves they will grow.
  6:57pm Die Fledermaus:

But yeah, we all have our stupid myths and superstitions. They don't always cause global mayhem. Except for religious purges, ethnic cleansing...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:58pm p20:

oh yes - I rememeber the good Wm. Berger - listened many times
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:58pm p20:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:59pm Handy Haversack:

L8r, Sk8rs.
Avatar 7:00pm cosmic matrix:

be wellers, smellers.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:00pm p20:

@morphe': I'm happy
  7:00pm bloodyturd:

I love my pet peeves. Gives me a safe place to quietly dump my hatred.
  7:06pm Earth Walker:

Morphe sounds cool. I told you I worked across the street from Skinflints once known as Dingbats Lots of Hell’s Angels along with Sonny Barger We were to young to get in we sat on the dumpsters outside and got high I remember Breezy point they had rinkey dinks or security guards Duffy used to beat them up
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