Options In Real Life with Kimzilla and Emily: Playlist from May 8, 2019 Options

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In Real Life is a weekly show hosted by Emily and Kimzilla on WFMU. In each episode, Kim and Emily follow their own curiosity to interview people on about a variety of themes, getting the real scoop and learning about the real people behind each topic. Previous WFMU aired episodes include topics such as circus performers, taxicab drivers, bartender therapy, alien abductions, nudism and so much more.

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Options May 8, 2019: I Like my Sex Like I Like my Coffee: I Don’t Like Coffee.

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The Asexuality Visibility and Education Network


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Artist Track Album Label Year Format Approx. start time
The Tammy's  Egyptian Shumba   Options The Tammy's  United Artists  1963  MP3  0:00:00 (Pop‑up)
Interview with Bauer            0:21:04 (Pop‑up)

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Listener comments!

Avatar 7:01pm Linda Lee:

hello! there's my new motto! beautiful!
  7:02pm John from Florham Park:

Hi linda and the rest of in real life peeps
  7:02pm CC:

yep...dig those Georgia blues!!!...hehehe...:)0(;
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:02pm ultradamno:

Asexuality is to be encouraged and rewarded, or at least non-reproductive habits.
Avatar 7:04pm Linda Lee:

some of us are aro too (aromantic.) when you've been sexualized from a childhood (as female), stepping away from the paradigm is incredibly liberating.
  7:05pm John from Florham Park:

@Linda lee amen to that
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:05pm Phillippe Bastille:

  7:05pm katharsis:

Yes girls No fires
  7:05pm sexyjess:

Virgin....to the show.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:06pm dale:

"aromantic" sounds like it means you smell down there.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:06pm Phillippe Bastille:

Folding t-shirts and stuffing things into envelopes is a show topic in itself
  7:06pm John from Florham Park:

@Phillipe hello
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:07pm Phillippe Bastille:

Hey John! How are you?
Avatar 7:07pm Linda Lee:

that's a good diagram, Kim!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:07pm melinda:

hi everyone
Avatar 7:07pm Linda Lee:

@dale ~ some of us do, but we couldn't care less. :-D
  7:08pm CC:

I've always wondered why us boyz have titties too?!?...hehehe...:)0(:
  7:08pm queems:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:09pm melinda:

Did you say allosexual? I haven't heard of that.
Avatar 7:09pm Linda Lee:

i've been looking for an ace ring for years ~ haven't found one yet!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:09pm melinda:

@dale haha!
  7:09pm John from Florham Park:

@Phillipe pretty good can’t complain
@Dale nice to see you here
  7:09pm Robert Tables:

Hello! Listening while walking to the PATH.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:10pm Phillippe Bastille:

I thought aloe-sexual
  7:10pm Emily:

@ Melinda that was a new term for me too!
Hi everyone! Linda Lee, nice to see you back on here!
Avatar 7:10pm Linda Lee:

had to check in on this one, Emily! :-)
  7:11pm Buddha of Suburbia:

Good evening!
  7:11pm Emily:

@Phillip Bastille hahah I am not so sexually attracted to aloe. I mean it’s fine. But it’s not the sexiest of all plants.
  7:11pm Emily:

@Linda I am so glad!
Avatar 7:11pm Linda Lee:

i am too.
  7:11pm Emily:

Hi Buddha!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:12pm ultradamno:

I remember when Morrissey declared himself asexual I remember some TV douche (Carson Daly, maybe) laughing uncontrollably and being very repelled by him (and I wasn't a Smiths fan, or offended on M's behalf or anything)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:12pm Phillippe Bastille:

Boods checkin in...
  7:12pm Emily:

@sexyjess ooOooOh :) hi welcome!
Avatar 7:13pm kimzilla:

Hello everyone!
  7:13pm sexyjess:

44, Pansexual polyamorous and learning more each moment of the show! Thank you for this conversation.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:13pm dale:

hi melinda. hi john from fp. hi boods.
Avatar 7:14pm Linda Lee:

at near 60 i'm *thrilled* that our dialogue about gender & mating behavior is expanding so beautifully. good lord, is that binary stifling!
  7:14pm Keith from Oregon:

Isn't this TMI? I mean, I don't care, and I didn't ask.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:14pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Hi, all. I hope to be less confused by all this by the end of the show.
  7:14pm CC:

I've heard that some people view a penis as nothing more than a clit on a stick?!?...)O(:
Avatar 7:15pm kimzilla:

Morrissey was my first introduction with an asexual. He was very open about that part of himself, which surprised me when I found this interview (used in the intro) where he says he regretted not participating more on a sexual level.
  7:15pm sexyjess:

Hi Emily ! xoxo
Avatar 7:16pm kimzilla:

Keith, hold onto your hat, there will be a whole lot more info then you will ever know.
Avatar 7:16pm Linda Lee:

the value of the conversation is in allowing those who might feel alienated buy societal norms to feel OK about who they are. it's a big deal!
  7:16pm John from Florham Park:

@linda lee I have gotten to the point where I am longer interested in dating anyone
Avatar 7:17pm Linda Lee:

if that's ok with you, that's great!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:17pm Phillippe Bastille:

Dang, I wish I could give this show more attention. My wife (who I have a deep emotional connection to and am attracted to) keeps handing me boxes to move to the basement.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:17pm melinda:

The hormone question is interesting because medications and health problems can seriously affect levels of desire.
  7:18pm John from Florham Park:

@phillipe listen to the archives later
  7:19pm Emily:

@Phillippe hahah
Avatar 7:20pm Linda Lee:

Phillippe, i'm supposed to be moving boxes from the attic, so between us we should be able to hear the show.
  7:20pm a dude:

really enjoying these discussions, super interesting. Thanks
  7:21pm Emily:

@melinda I agree! We’ve been wondering about that here in the studio. It’s an interesting element to this spectrum.
  7:21pm Emily:

Aw great! Thank YOU, a dude!
  7:22pm sexyjess:

My best friend recognized in me, very shortly after I had, pansexuality. In coming to understand this I've also recognized I'm poly.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:22pm ultradamno:

How is there not an 80s new wave song called Polyamorous Asexual?
  7:23pm katharsis:

Sometimes wish I could listen to the show and follow the chat at the same time. I cannot.
Avatar 7:23pm Linda Lee:

i'm loving the possiblities now allowed everyone. fabulous!!!!
  7:23pm sexyjess:

Will the show be available online? I don't know the name of the show.
  7:23pm Emily:

@katharsis HEARD. It is a struggle from this side, too.
  7:24pm CC:

Wow..!..poly-sexual..!.. that sounds real groovy!!!...:)O(:
Avatar 7:24pm Linda Lee:

sexyjess, this is In Real Life.
  7:25pm HogWild:

This hurts my head a lot.
Avatar 7:26pm Linda Lee:

Hog Wild, is that what happens before it explodes? :-D
  7:26pm CC:

As a man, I can honestly say that I feel guilty if I masturbate more than 3 times a day...hehehe...:)O(:
  7:27pm Emily:

@sexyjess we’re available as an archived link AND a podcast :)
  7:27pm sexyjess:

Thank you!!! Thus the IRL references. Got it. xo

Love WFMU + Clay Pigeon and now you both!
Avatar 7:28pm Linda Lee:

how come i didn't get the survey? was i absent that day?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:28pm ultradamno:

@CC As a man, I feel chafed if I do that.
  7:28pm Emily:

@ultradamno bahahahahaha
Avatar 7:29pm kimzilla:

lubricants people, lubricants!
Avatar 7:29pm Linda Lee:

i think we have a problem simply in the fact that sexuality is the default. why is that?
  7:29pm GarryTheViking:

The cause for less sex with the younger generations is a result of overpopulation, it’s natures way of doing something about our numbers
  7:31pm CC:

hehehe... I know this is supposed to be serious... sometimes I feel less than useless..!..:)O(:
Avatar 7:31pm Linda Lee:

it's really not a good idea to do somethiing you don't want to do, just to please someone & keep them from abusive behavior. that's not healthy or happy.
  7:31pm a dude:

@CC 3 times / day is impressive. I must have low T
Avatar 7:32pm Linda Lee:

what's impressive about that? i've seen monkeys at the zoo do that in 15 minutes!
  7:33pm sugarwolf:

Another reason for less sex amongst the younger generations is that there are fewer marriages, and generally speaking married people have more sex than single people.

Also what did this survey/study define sex as?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:33pm Tome:

funny how in us we are so repressed when to comes to even discussing sexuality just in general even we find it "obscene" yet when it come to video games ,, violence on tv movies , some are "glued' to the set !<>!
  7:33pm Emily:

@Linda Lee HA! haha
  7:34pm Emily:

@Tome YES.
Avatar 7:34pm Linda Lee:

thank you dear. :-D
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:34pm Phillippe Bastille:

@LL perfect. I get the even numbered words
  7:35pm Emily:

I for one would be far more comfortable with my kids seeing nudity and sexuality than violence. I never got that.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:35pm dale:

cc - i wish i had the free time.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:35pm Tome:

but if they see a peak of say a Nipple ,, we cover their eyes <>
Avatar 7:36pm kimzilla:

@Sugarwolf, I kind of understood that single people were having more sex than married people. Which leads me to identifying people in long relationships and end up being companions, and not sexually attracted to each other, what would you call that?
  7:36pm a dude:

@Linda Lee 15 mins vs 24 hours ... kind of a big difference. Can it be done in 15 mins? Maybe, depending on your definition of masturbating. Would it be enjoyable? Can't say, I've never tried 3 times in 15 mins, not with a partner or without.
Avatar 7:36pm Linda Lee:

@Phillippe ~ i'm sorry, what?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:37pm ultradamno:

A conversation on if asexuality is hereditary www.asexuality.org...
  7:38pm CC:

it kind of reminds me of the time that this guy was so frustrated that he pointed a gun at his penis and his girlfriend said no no you're not going to shoot that off and then he said no just kiss it and it'll shoot itself off...hahaha...:)O(:
  7:39pm a dude:

@CC I'm thinking you might be a bot. Prove ur not
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:40pm melinda:

Kimzilla that's great that you're choosing a whole new name.
  7:40pm queems:

i’ve been listening the whole time but i just got home. fascinating stuff
Avatar 7:41pm Linda Lee:

beautiful name!
  7:41pm queems:

also hell yes to working with metal
  7:41pm Emily:

@queems yeeeeeah! Kimzilla’s a badass welder!
  7:41pm Colleen:

Great story Kim..Very cool!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:41pm Ken From Hyde Park:

I suspect the biggest hassle is getting your email stuff squared away.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:42pm Phillippe Bastille:

@ll sorry was referring to each of us listening to parts of the show. My comments are even more disjointed than normal...
  7:42pm sugarwolf:

Congrats on the new name!
Avatar 7:42pm kimzilla:

I just want to know what this means :)0(: It makes my keyboard fingers hurt even typing it. Help me understand.
  7:42pm CC:

dude...I dig bebot..!..lol...:)O(:
Avatar 7:43pm kimzilla:

@Ken, My kfarrier account filters to my knolan account, so easy peasy! Thanks for the love Lifers!
  7:43pm queems:

@kimzilla @emily i want to learn how to weld!!!!!! i’m a jeweler, so i solder. and laser weld
Avatar 7:43pm Linda Lee:

what's so funny about all this is that people think of gender/sexuality as a destination ~ when it's actually the whole journey. it's not what you are, it's what you do.
  7:44pm Emily:

@queems that’s so cool!! I wanna learn how to do THAT.
Avatar 7:44pm kimzilla:

@queems, laser weld?? Is that like a CNC machine?
  7:44pm Emily:

@LL THAT is a really excellent & interesting point you’re making. Well worth considering.
Avatar 7:44pm kimzilla:

@Linda Lee, YES!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:45pm ultradamno:

@kimzilla it doesn't seem to be in the big wiki list of emoticons en.wikipedia.org...
  7:45pm CC:

I got trapped into the show because I'm really into sex... that's all...:)O(:
Avatar 7:45pm Linda Lee:

that's why people expecting static positions get so confused! :-)
  7:45pm queems:

@kimzilla in jewelry it’s a little box that uses a laser to just smoosh the metal together
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:46pm ultradamno:

I never would have known this was a bomb: ●~*
  7:46pm CC:

I'm 65 and I haven't gone through menopause yet!!!...hahaha...:)0(:
  7:47pm queems:

i feel this BIG TIME
Avatar 7:47pm kimzilla:

@Ultradamno, the mystery remains.
  7:47pm a dude:

question: if you're in "romantic" love with a former partner, but they're in a committed relationship, should one ask if they're open to a poly relationship? How to broach this subject?
  7:47pm sexyjess:

I am so grateful I caught this conversation. xo
  7:47pm a dude:

asking for a friend
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:48pm dale:

queems - tons of cheap wire feed mig welders out ther efor under a hundred bucks that run on regular household current.. add a helmet and gloves and you can be welding on no time. you won'd be doing anything too structural but you could weld up some art.
  7:48pm queems:

@dale that’s fantastic. it’s something i definitely want to explore in the near future
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:49pm Tome:

will sum it all up with the famous *Nike" add = * Just Do It * !<>! [ too many ? marks here ]
Avatar 7:49pm kimzilla:

Mary Wing just came in and guessed the emoticon means two people one vagina. She has a dirty mind.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:50pm Ken From Hyde Park:

  7:50pm Emily:

@sexyjess thank you! We’re happy to see new faces :)
  7:50pm Kate:

Getting on the board late, but have really been enjoying the show. Fascinating stuff.
Avatar 7:50pm Linda Lee:

what emoticon?
  7:51pm katharsis:

grief of Loss of the village
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:51pm melinda:

I can really relate to this too. I haven't given up on finding a partner again but I don't know how to fill the gaps, being introverted, middle-aged and single.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:51pm ultradamno:

Todd on Bojack Horseman is the only ongoing asexual character I can think of on a series.
Avatar 7:51pm Linda Lee:

hahaha!! 'curable'!!! :-D
Avatar 7:52pm kimzilla:

@ Linda Lee the one CC keeps using :)0(:
  7:52pm queems:

ah yes, todd
  7:52pm Emily:

@a dude oh wow, that sounds like a very large conversation to have. I know a lot of folks having that conversation, and I know it requires a LOT of conversation, but I’m not sure I would know how to approach tha exactly.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:52pm dale:

find a harbor freight. get coupons for 20% off to get the supplies.
Avatar 7:52pm Linda Lee:

maybe it's the drive to procreate that needs 'curing', at this point.
  7:53pm Emily:

@Late Kate :) hiiiiii see you so sooooooon!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:53pm Ken From Hyde Park:

@dale - I haven't looked at welders for a while. Are there 110V ones available or just 220V?
  7:53pm Emily:

@ katharsis yes. I am very pro-village.
  7:53pm queems:

@dale i also need to go to a welding supply store to buy some b tanks for a torch situation. but i’m injured right now so all of my home metal dreams are on the backest back burner
  7:54pm a dude:

current guest speaking about valuing marriage, certainly monogamy, more than other forms of relationships is
Avatar 7:54pm Linda Lee:

@kimzilla ~ ah ok. i can't be arsed with it (as they say in the UK).
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:54pm melinda:

@Linda I agree
  7:54pm CC:

I new monk who told me he was monogamous..?.. )O(:
  7:55pm queems:

lol i’m 31 and my parents still don’t know i’m bi
  7:55pm Kate:

There is a North Carolina Aces group!
Avatar 7:55pm Linda Lee:

@melinda ~ thank you!
Avatar 7:55pm kimzilla:

My new favorite ((d[-_-]b))
Avatar 7:56pm Linda Lee:

that's great!
  7:56pm Emily:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:56pm ultradamno:

Avatar 7:56pm kimzilla:

Avatar 7:56pm Linda Lee:

@queems ~ my parents both passed away clueless. it happens.
  7:57pm sexyjess:

Would love to hear a male weigh in.
  7:57pm Kate:

We need less shame generally for things I think. At least for things that don't hurt other people.
  7:57pm Ike:

As a Dr. Who fan, I was always impressed that the “classic” era (which ran 26 years) presented the Doctor as uninterested in romance or sex (even when I knew nothing about Ace — it just seemed intriguingly non-conformist). The “modern” revival of the show surely has to be disappointing to Ace viewers even though I like most of it in most other respects.
  7:57pm a dude:

current guest is in point about monogamy and marriage. Wish I could approach someone I care about regarding poly without threatening their traditional sense of commitment
Avatar 7:57pm Linda Lee:

thanks, Kate.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:58pm Phillippe Bastille:

harbor freight rocks
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:58pm dale:

ken - a LOT of 110's they can weld up to 1/8 inch thick steel fine but have a low duty cycle. just don't weld too fast.
  7:58pm CC:

His name was Irving Cohen I don't know if he was related to Leonard or not???...:)O(:
  7:59pm Ike:

Interesting show!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm Phillippe Bastille:

Great show, everyone. Will catch the whole thing on the archives.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm ultradamno:

Well, here's a controversial (stupid) one, asexuals for incels www.reddit.com...
  7:59pm queems:

thank you ladies, and everyone!
Avatar 7:59pm Linda Lee:

thanks so much, ladies!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm adampsyche:

loved this show
  7:59pm Kate:

@ Linda Lee, thanks to YOU.
  7:59pm sexyjess:

I don't know, I think the fish theory relates.
  7:59pm katharsis:

Thank you
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm dale:

lincoln and hobart make 110's you can get at home depot or lowes or tractor supply
  8:00pm Emily:

Thank you all! Xoxoxo
  8:00pm @adampsyche:

I was just wondering a male's perspective.
Avatar 8:01pm Linda Lee:

the fish theory would depend on trending asexuality as new. i think there have always been lots of ace individuals, just as there have always been trans individuals. we just haven't been allowed for.
Avatar 8:03pm Linda Lee:

at least in modern european, judeo-christian culture, which is not at all the world.
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