Options In Real Life with Kimzilla and Emily: Playlist from February 20, 2019 Options

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In Real Life is a weekly show hosted by Emily and Kimzilla on WFMU. In each episode, Kim and Emily follow their own curiosity to interview people on about a variety of themes, getting the real scoop and learning about the real people behind each topic. Previous WFMU aired episodes include topics such as circus performers, taxicab drivers, bartender therapy, alien abductions, nudism and so much more.

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Options February 20, 2019: Gaylord Fields, the Man Behind the Cardigan.

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Listener comments!

Avatar 6:29pm kimzilla:

Hi all! Were busy salting the fine roads of NY and NJ tonight, but rest assured, you are in fine hands of the great board op Nick the Bard. Enjoy!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:00pm ultradamno:

The blissful return of adult vocabulary
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:01pm Richard S:

Avatar 7:03pm khd:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:03pm Linda Lee:

Avatar 7:03pm khd:

is this live?
  7:04pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

From one end of the English language to the other
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:04pm Linda Lee:

don't think so, khd. check kimzilla above. ^
Avatar 7:04pm khd:

got it - thx
Avatar 7:05pm khd:

very cool, nonetheless, love gaylord
Avatar 7:05pm JakeGould:

Rerun but a very good episode.
  7:05pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

I heard the podcast of this. It's amazing stuff. Go listen to the extended version
Avatar 7:07pm khd:

"i speak in the most clear, crisp voice" haha
  7:08pm Emily:

hey everybody! sorry I'm a little late to my own show...
this is a re-run from the summer podcast, and Aaron's right! there is an extended version on the podcast. check it out!
Avatar 7:09pm khd:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:09pm melinda:

I recommend the extended version too.
Avatar 7:10pm khd:

  7:12pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

So we go to an hour of literal baby talk to one of the most well spoken djs on fmu. Only here
  7:12pm Listener Robert:

A card from NBC News doesn't just say, "I'm legit." It says, "I can embarrass you on TV."
  7:14pm Emily:

@Aaron ah yes, it's really the variety of programming that makes this place so special...
Avatar 7:15pm khd:

it means the same thing, you have connections into the upper middle class ideology, there are repurcussions for fucking with me because of those connections, unlike before, when you were unaware of them
  7:17pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Can you tell me why assuming an African American person does a jazz show offensive. I mean no harm. Just trying to understand
  7:18pm Johnzon:

there's another group that gets the "how do you know that" questions. children
  7:18pm Johnzon:

messed up
  7:18pm kimzilla:

I was telling my local dr that when Gaylord came to visit me he confessed that he was slightly nervous coming to my house in Hunterdon County where it’s a very white and a bit country) and his response was “Well, tell him we’re scared of his neighborhood too!” WTF?

Hi guys! Thanks for listening and being on the message board.
  7:20pm Emily:

@Aaron Oh I think the idea is just that one wouldn't look at a white DJ in the same position and assume what kind of music show he has—but there's the assumption being presented there that Gaylord, because he's black could only have certain taste in music so he must have a jazz show or a hip hop show, etc.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:21pm Gaylord Fields:

@Aaron: Would a white person be asked, "Do you do a country show?" at WFMU? No, that person would be asked, "What kind of show do you do?" rather than being labeled. (Jazz shows are often done by black people at noncommercial radio stations.)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:21pm Tommy in Neversink:

Aron ..it's a way of being boxed in . Like assuming blacks are only going to be interested in Jazz, blues, soul, funk, hip hop, R&B
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:21pm Gaylord Fields:

What Emily said.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:21pm Fox:

There's also the assumption that if you are "well spoken" you must be half white. I know that my boyfriend got that assumption made all the time.
  7:22pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Ah gotcha. Thanks Emily and gaylord!
  7:24pm Kate:

Hi all. Been listening on my phone but just getting to the comment board.
Good show tonight.
Avatar 7:24pm khd:

well, that was a nice resolution. only here, at WFMU :)
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:24pm queems:

thanks for having this conversation, gaylord, emily & kimzilla
  7:25pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Hey Kate long time no see
  7:25pm Kate:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:25pm Gaylord Fields:

@Fox: Yup! Or it's often presumed that I'm of Caribbean ancestry, because something something. (Both parents were born in the segregated Southern U.S.)
  7:26pm Listener Robert:

But Emily and Mr. Fields, if you play the odds, stereotyping the minority makes sense, while stereotyping the majority doesn't.
  7:26pm a.:

Hi, longtime fan of Gaylord's show and I wanted him to know it's brave and cool of him to be so open about these experiences.
  7:26pm Kate:

What queems said. This is not an easy conversation to have.
Avatar 7:26pm khd:

also, can i recommend readsettlers.org?
  7:27pm Johnzon:

thanks for doing this show gaylord this is really interesting, I appreciate you explaining/exploring these things, sucks that you are expected to explain things you shouldn't have to explain all the time, so thanks for sharing now, this is a very important conversation
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:27pm Gaylord Fields:

@Listener Robert: You left the quote marks off "makes sense"!
Avatar 7:27pm JakeGould:

@Aaron: When people find out I am Jewish (by reading my name) they assume I like Kelzmer music and can give them tips on where to go for good Jewish deli in NYC.

Also, someone at WFMU bluntly asked me once if I was “really Jewish.” And then when I asked yes, asked me a fairly obnoxious question about my opinion on Palestine.

It’s prejudging people as fetish objects. And it shows a patronizing view of others based on “genteel” prejudices.
Avatar 7:28pm JakeGould:

@ListenerRobert: Your “brilliance” never fades.
  7:28pm Emily:

Listener Robert, I would argue that stereotyping nobody "makes sense." I would like to give everyone a chance to just tell me who they are instead of making assumptions—after all, it's just as easy to ask "what kind of show do you do?" as it is to ask "do you do a jazz show?"
  7:28pm Listener Robert:

I meant it in terms of betting odds making sense.
  7:29pm a.:

"Why don't you believe me" is the hardest and weirdest thing to get your head around when you discuss racism in general & racism towards black Americans in particular. They will look a black person in the eye and tell them their life experience is wrong. I guess because they have to, otherwise they might have to question their own ideas and positions.
Avatar 7:29pm khd:

gaylord - i hope the next half of ths show be about 1970s soundtracks
Avatar 7:29pm JakeGould:

NYC has more than a new neighborhoods that are superficially “enlightened” but when it comes to food and entertainment biases? OMFG! “Mmmm… So authentic…”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:29pm Philthy woman:

So glad your all talking bout this
Avatar 7:29pm khd:

or i will be disappointed
  7:29pm Listener Robert:

Emily, I meant the comparison you made didn't make sense. There are SO MANY white DJs, betting on any of them playing C&W you'd have to get odds.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:30pm Gaylord Fields:

@a. @Kate @Johnzon: It was not easy to do this

@Listener Robert: Reducing people to statistics is kind of the problem.
Avatar 7:30pm JakeGould:

Thanks for doing this.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:30pm Fox:

I am so glad that I've spent my life since my early 20's living in mostly non-white neighborhoods. It's forced me to be conscious of my whiteness, and I'm now, as a consequence, constantly aware of my whiteness. I am always self-questioning my internal racism, and my position in society.

I remember when I was in my mid twenties, one of my best friends from NJ visited me in Brooklyn. She'd been so used to being the only black person around for all her life. She was amazed and amused that my roommate and I were talking about people in our 'hood and referred to someone as the "white guy" because she'd never heard it before. I have made a point to go out of my way to always quantify "white" as often as I do any other race identifier.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:30pm queems:

we white people need to do a lot more listening
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:30pm Philthy woman:

-Out loud
Avatar 7:30pm dale:

i'm afraid of gaylord because his dust covers premium was so killer.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:31pm Gaylord Fields:

Listener Robert: May I ask you to stop chatting and start listening?
  7:31pm a.:

@Gaylord I think we've all been needing to have these discussions a lot more, since Nov. 2016 - and I'm glad to be hearing it on the air. I know my friends are doing it more, in real life and online. Because we absolutely have to.
  7:31pm Johnzon:

Im bisexual lol... if anybody has any questions about bisexuals... ask the internet. jk.
  7:31pm Listener Robert:

Gaylord, it may be a "problem", but the heuristic shortens the communication process.
  7:31pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Of course I assumed Billy jam was black for the longest time so I'm not perfect
  7:32pm Listener Robert:

OK, I'm listening. But so is Aaron, etc. It's fun to engage.
  7:32pm Kate:

What a fabulous goal to shoot for: to allow people to be themselves and still have a seat at the table.
  7:33pm Emily:

@Gaylord thank you so much for talking to us about not easy things.

@Listener Robert: I don't think we need to go around shortening the communication process. What a shame that would be. I want to give people a chance to explain things in their own words! Let's not bet on who people are, anyhow.
  7:33pm Alix!:

Which dj is talking right now?
  7:34pm a.:

I would read the sh*t out of your book Gaylord
Avatar 7:34pm northguineahills:

TBH, there isn't much room for anyone to be (or desire to be) a freeform dj, that's why WFMU is a treasure....
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:34pm LCBD:

I agree, queems!
  7:34pm Johnzon:

sounds like a really cool concept for a book... do it!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:35pm LCBD:

Right on, Fox!
Avatar 7:35pm djsheilab:

Three cheers for Janelle Monae! I'm thrilled to have caught this show. Thanks for sharing so openly, Gaylord. And I hope you'll write that book!
Avatar 7:37pm JakeGould:

FWIW, I find this Eater piece to be something everyone should read on the topic of how racial biases show up in seemingly simple things: “According to a study of Yelp reviews for NYC restaurants, judging restaurants by ‘authenticity’ tends to put non-white owners in a trap.” ny.eater.com...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:37pm Gaylord Fields:

@djsheilab: Thank you, dear friend! This isn't easy and it's not fun. But it's important, and I'm so pleased that Kim and Emily gave me this space.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:37pm chris:

so happy to hear this! don't know how i missed it the first time around. work has been doing a bunch of unconscious bias training and i love it. i thought i was so enlightened and aware. lol. please write that book, Gaylord.
  7:37pm Johnzon:

Ive been watching this youtube channel called the black experience japan... it's all interviews with black people living in Japan... mostly but not exclusively Americans. Ive found it pretty illuminating, both re. black experiences & japan
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:38pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Hello, life ring. Lots of ideas to ponder tonight.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:38pm Webhamster Henry:

In college, I was friends with some actual Africans, and they had to deal with African American baggage.
  7:38pm Kate:

I remember when Emily first noticed skin color. We were at the cash register a shoe store. And the clerk was black. She was three. She said "Look Mama, his arm is chocolate brown and your arm is peachy peach!" She talked a lot as a kid.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:39pm Fox:

Gaylord: It's interesting how many similarities there are between your experience and what my exbf had expressed to me about his own, being a black punk and metal head and comic nerd.
  7:39pm Emily:

@Fox: I wondered if he had a similar experience, too.
  7:40pm kimzilla:

Hi shelia, happy to have you on board!
  7:40pm Emily:

@Kate: I talked too much as a kid...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:40pm Gaylord Fields:

@Fox: I am so unsurprised about that, and I assume he'd say the same.
  7:41pm Kate:

ohhh! I hadn't ever noticed that ratio, fascinating.
Avatar 7:43pm Layet J:

Loving this talk, thanks everyone!
  7:43pm Kate:

@ Emily, no it was a beautiful innocent non judging statement of what was that the Clerk appreciated very much.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:43pm Gaylord Fields:

@kimzilla: Also, it's curious that your local dr assumes I live in a place hostile to whites.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:45pm I am the Upsetter:

Great conversation.
Avatar 7:45pm Layet J:

As a straight white male art educator, I teach a lot of freakiness for sure... but I try to teach art history every week in the studio. I guess my slideshows are like my freeform visual DJing... I'm not great at it, but I recognize I know how important it is and get better at and more knowledgeable every week. Anyway, this show is inspiring as all get out (as they say in the Carolinas.)
Avatar 7:45pm coelacanth∅:

it *seemed* better. i didn't think at the time there was any reason for optimism under Obama; but things have gotten many times worse because of ronald mcdonald trump than they would've gotten.
Avatar 7:46pm coelacanth∅:

(and hi Emily & Kimzilla & Gaylord, & listeners)
Avatar 7:47pm djsheilab:

Hey Kimzilla + Emily—This show is profound. And thank you for bringing up the discomfort of talking about these issues for fear of stepping on toes, etc. I have always chosen avoidance over discomfort and it's something I would like to change.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:47pm Fox:

Every time he'd come home later than expected, I'd be worried. Dating a black guy with Tourette's makes you perpetually fearful of your boyfriend getting shot by police.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:47pm Tommy in Neversink:

This one of the most interesting shows ever on FMU
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:48pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Yeah, coel. I'm distressed by the way the current White House occupant is sending this country backwards in so many ways.
Avatar 7:48pm JakeGould:

@coelacanth∅: Trump is making it easier to express hate. This whole “National Emergency” thing scares me not for the immediate threat of the idiocy of it all but rather how even if it fails, it still will embolden racists and hate filled idiots to act out.
  7:48pm kimzilla:

@gaylord, exactly! I made no mention of where you live. His assumption was culturally automatic. He just assumed you live in a dangerous neighborhood, I told him “you couldn’t afford his neighborhood.”
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:48pm LCBD:

I missed it... what documentary are they talking about?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:50pm Gaylord Fields:

@kimzilla: Perfect comeback — thanks for having my back!
  7:51pm Emily:

@ LCBD the Rachel Dolezal documentary on netflix! I might have spelled her name wrong.
  7:51pm kevlicki:

Just tuning in and excited to hear difficult topics being discussed on WFMU!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:52pm LCBD:

Thanks Emily. Will check it out.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:52pm Tommy in Neversink:

I went to segregated schools till I was nine (1967) in NC and MS
Avatar 7:52pm northguineahills:

talking about the "Wall", my wife's citizenship process is coming up next month (she's from Mexico), and we both got laid off w/in the last month, and last year the visa process was hell, and she has grad degree and makes a great living (well, until getting laid off).
  7:53pm Emily:

@LCBD I haven't seen it yet, either! I need to check it out.
  7:54pm John from Florham Park:

It has really gotten to the point with me where I don’t like to talk politics with people, and just would rather listen to music or sports, and as for trump he is nothing but an asshole
Avatar 7:55pm coelacanth∅:

no. "we" have not come far. a lot of people would be doing some horrifying shit if they could get away with it. people have not evolved for at least hundreds of years. people do the right thing more because of reasoning it out than because they inherently know better.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:55pm Fox:

I went to highschool in Sparta, NJ. We didn't get MLK Day off. That's madness. We haven't progressed that far.
Avatar 7:55pm JakeGould:

Read some article where some pro-Trump guy in the U.S. near the Southern border turned anti-Trump when he realized that a nearby butterfly sanctuary would be potentially devastated by the wall. So when the guys butterflies get threatened that’s where the line is drawn? There you go.
Avatar 7:56pm djsheilab:

I took Killer Mike's advice (on Stephen Colbert) to watch this race experiment conducted by Jane Ellliot many years ago. It's worth your time. www.youtube.com...
Avatar 7:56pm JakeGould:

“I voted for Trump. Now his wall may destroy my butterfly paradise.” LOL! STFU! www.washingtonpost.com...
  7:57pm Emily:

Oh, thank you Sheila! I will check that out.
  7:57pm kevlicki:

Gaylord, much love and respect to you for sharing yourself and history. I look forward to listening to this in full on the archive.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:57pm Webhamster Henry:

Here in Ulster County, NY, there's a lot of history of Sojourner Truth, who was a slave here, and sued for the freedom of her son. Her first language was Dutch. So that's another view of slavery. In fact, historians are trying to buy up the slave burial ground here before it gets developed on.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:58pm Gaylord Fields:

@kevlicki, et al.: Thank you (and everyone) for listening with an open mind.
  7:58pm Kate:

echoing what kevlicki said, thanks Gaylord.
  7:58pm ?:

You can't decide to be black, and being female isn't a decision either (born in gender or not). However, in both cases - Rachel Dolezal feeling black or moving into a correct gender - there is a process of enculturation that effects everything and is entirely missed. Women are raised under certain expectations, cultural treatment, gendered standards etc. that someone raised as a boy (or vice versa, girl to boy) will never have full understanding of. Rachel Dolezal is missing the whole experience and day to day treatment of having grown up in black skin. My family is made up of immigrants from poor communities in Northern Mexico and Poland during WW2, the whole history is lost to me after my great grandparents. Thanks for this program!
  7:59pm John from Florham Park:

Interesting program guys thanks
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm Gaylord Fields:

@Kate: Thank you for your insights (especially about Emily)!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm queems:

thanks kimzilla, emily, and especially gaylord
Avatar 7:59pm coelacanth∅:

Thank you Gaylord!
and Kimzilla & Emily for suggesting this
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm LCBD:

Excellent show - great conversation! Thank you!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm Fox:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 8:00pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Thanks, Gaylord & hostesses. Straight ahead!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 8:00pm ultradamno:

Thanks E, K and G. Was definitely worth another listen
  8:00pm Emily:

Thanks to Gaylord and my mom and all you guys! xoxo see you next week!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 8:00pm Webhamster Henry:

Thanks for the show .. and of course for Gaylord's show!
Avatar 8:00pm djsheilab:

Very glad you chose to re-broadcast this! Thanks all!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 8:00pm Gaylord Fields:

Thanks, everyone, especially Kimzilla & Emily!
Avatar 8:01pm JakeGould:

Thanks E & K.
Avatar 8:05pm kimzilla:

Thanks Gaylord and everyone here tonight adding to the conversation. XOXO
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