Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from November 28, 2018 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options November 28, 2018: Single Phone Line Theater: Call 201-209-0750

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Hey Kids! Tonight, we present a very special episode of Seven Second Delay: The first-ever Single Phone Line Theater production of Charles Dicken's holiday classic, A Christmas Carol. Here is how it will work:

Ken and Andy will begin the show by insulting one another briefly, and then casting the six parts for the play. Download the full script here.

Here is the problem: We only have one phone line tonight. So our cast will have to take turns reading their parts.

It's as if we are performing a play on the radio and there is only one phone line to call.

IF YOU ARE IN THE CAST: whenever it is your line, call this number: 201-209-0750 (that really is a new number!). Once Nick the Bard vets you, we will put you on the air, and you will deliver the next line.

Want to join us? Download the script here, and here is a pic of the first page of this heartwarming piece of theater:

Artist
Ken & Andy 


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Listener comments!

Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:01pm dale:

can't you give every other actor andy's cell phone number to move things along?
Avatar 6:04pm Linda Lee:

gee .. vetting by Nick for every line? this will be a slow one.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:04pm Asheville Jon:

hey LL, nice seeing you here.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:05pm Asheville Jon:

i bet the play doesn't get past the third page of script
Avatar 6:05pm Linda Lee:

are we ready for this? :-D
Avatar 6:07pm Linda Lee:

i'd say page 3 is definitely the limit.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:08pm queems:

this is pretty ambitious
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:10pm Asheville Jon:

never gonna get to the Flame's lines
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:11pm Ken From Hyde Park:

This is similar to the Doctor Gameshow episode doing Romeo and Juliet.
Avatar 6:11pm Linda Lee:

casting alone will take a quarter hour!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:12pm queems:

i feel like i have had just enough wine to take part in this
Avatar 6:12pm Linda Lee:

actually, i'll give casting til 630.
Avatar 6:12pm Linda Lee:

go for it queems!
  6:13pm boo boo:

Are the two 9368#s now defunct?
Avatar 6:15pm Jeff Moore:

David Krumholtz!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:15pm queems:

@linda lee i think my attention span is too short :(
  6:15pm Listener Robert:

My friend Allen J. Rickman was in "Boardwalk Empire" too.
Avatar 6:15pm Linda Lee:

this will definitely take concentration.
  6:15pm yes:

David krumholtz
  6:15pm Listener Robert:

L! I meant Allen L. Rickman, not J!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:15pm dale:

kyle is in cincinnati on business - sorry.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:16pm queems:

usually when too many people talk at once, i just tune right out
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:16pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

The players better hang up like the wind when their lines end.
Avatar 6:16pm Jeff Moore:

We just saw him pop up in that new Coen Brothers movie (The Ballad of Buster Scruggs).
  6:16pm JakeGould:

Shea Whigham? Eli Thompson?
Avatar 6:16pm Linda Lee:

i gave buscemi a cigarette in a bar once. it went through an intermediary.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:17pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

The cast party is going to be _wild_.
Avatar 6:17pm Linda Lee:

i'm afraid i don't see a successful night here, kids.
  6:17pm Listener Robert:

Allen L. Rickman was in the new Coen Bros. movie?
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:18pm queems:

get ready to collect on your insurance policies folks
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:18pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

Linda Lee:
What, Buscemi actually smoked it _through_ someone else's body, like a living hookah? How does that even _work_? (...and why didn't Bill Burroughs ever use that image?)
  6:18pm JakeGould:

Stephen Root? WHAT ELSE COULD IT BE GENIUSES!!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:19pm dale:

i met darren mcgavin 'the night stalker' once - but he'd dead now. maybe he can play marley's ghost?
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:20pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

Linda Lee:
Of course it will be a train-wreck---the point of the show always seems to be seeing what kind of train-wreck develops.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:20pm Nick the Bard:

201-209-0750


CALL

THAT

NUMBER
Avatar 6:21pm Linda Lee:

both the cigarette request and the transaction were achieved through a third party. i do believe it was smoked in the usual way by the person who made the original request from inside an opaque sheild of cronies.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:22pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

'Who wrote this---Henry Darger!?'---Sgt Hatred.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:22pm dale:

is the nephew tiny tim? THAT'S the plum part!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:22pm queems:

nephew i think is tiny tim's dad
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:22pm queems:

no just kidding, i'm wrong
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:23pm queems:

that's bob whatever his name is
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:23pm (Murakami Whywolf))):

The nephew's is called 'Fred'.
Avatar 6:24pm Linda Lee:

a living hookah might've been too obvious for Bill..
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:24pm Asheville Jon:

at this rate, the play will never start
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:25pm dale:

tiny tim is sad sack bob cratchitts gimp kid. the nephew is wealthy and happy and keeps trying to get scrooge to come hang out for christmas. they aren't the same part.
  6:25pm boo boo:

This is the slowest car crash.
  6:25pm Andy (DC):

OK, so I call in and hang up line by line?
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:26pm (((Murakami Whywolf):

Tony Shalhoub called-in in 2002 and look where _that_ went.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:26pm queems:

THANK YOU DALE this is false advertising
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:26pm dale:

boo boo - HA!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:27pm queems:

this is giving me extraordinary anxiety
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:27pm Ken From Hyde Park:

<applause>
Avatar 6:27pm Linda Lee:

oh boy.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:28pm dale:

201 209 9368?
Avatar 6:28pm Linda Lee:

wrong number, dale!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:29pm queems:

0750
Avatar 6:29pm Linda Lee:

hey Jude, please call the show.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:29pm Nick the Bard:

201-209-0750

ONLY

THIS

NUMBER

WORKS
Avatar 6:29pm Juliette from Harding:

This is just tooo much fun! Where is Jude?
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:30pm queems:

LOLOL i can't handle this
  6:30pm Patty D:

Just tuning in. I feel like i missed a lot.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:30pm Asheville Jon:

why, oh why didn't i buys bad show insurance when i had the chance. this is a sure bet for a pay out
Avatar 6:30pm Linda Lee:

you were made to be our narrator.
remember, the number is a new one.
then you can start to make it better.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:30pm dale:

i was just throwing lighter fluid on the smoldering compost heap.
  6:31pm Pete:

Yeah, Jude! Don't make it bad! (too late!!!)
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:31pm queems:

thank you, mystery narrator
  6:31pm boo boo:

How is this rougher than old timey days with manual switchboard operators? This is hilarious!
Avatar 6:32pm Fredericks:

How long is the delay?
Avatar 6:32pm Jude in JC:

That was me Jude...
Avatar 6:32pm Jude in JC:

Called a few times...
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:33pm queems:

jude you're up again
Avatar 6:33pm Linda Lee:

is it too late to buy bad show insurance?
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:33pm dale:

the tony awards are safe another year.
Avatar 6:33pm Fredericks:

In 1998, they could eavesdrop and now they cannot?
Avatar 6:33pm Jude in JC:

yeah, phones are working right... lol
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:33pm queems:

i admire your perseverance
Avatar 6:33pm Juliette from Harding:

Crying I am laughing so hard; i feel we all need to make new donations towards a new phone
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:34pm dale:

he was overselling that scrooge, if you were to ask vincent canby
Avatar 6:34pm Linda Lee:

Ken might've planned this one just a wee bit better.
Avatar 6:34pm Jude in JC:

yes, let's donate! support WFMU!! <3
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:34pm queems:

maybe this is the wine talking, but aside from the extreme anxiety, i am enjoying this show quite a bit
Avatar 6:34pm Fredericks:

Come on Jude, don't blow it again>
  6:34pm Listener Robert:

Wait, I like where this is going! How often is Scrooge's UNCLE included in this, huh?
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:35pm dale:

i would like a glass of talking wine.
  6:35pm Pete:

Hey Jude, don't let me down.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:35pm queems:

@dale get yourself a whole can and thank me later
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:36pm queems:

what is this goddamn cookie monster bullshit
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:36pm dale:

canned wine -why has that NOT ever been a thing?
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:37pm dale:

fozzy bear as scrooge.
Avatar 6:38pm Linda Lee:

boxes are cheaper.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:38pm queems:

@linda lee good call
Avatar 6:38pm Linda Lee:

in the golden age of radio the actors were in the studio!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:38pm Nick the Bard:

expensive as shit canned wine recommendations - imbibemagazine.com...
Avatar 6:39pm Jude in JC:

I can't stop laughing...
Avatar 6:39pm Fredericks:

One Mic just like in Bluegrass!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:39pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Coming next year Black Friday: K-cup wine
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:39pm dale:

yeah, but it's a bag in a box. go with just the box and you have a mess. a can is portable, recyclable, chillable....
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:39pm queems:

@nick i'm drinking underwood, which is on that list
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:40pm PigeonsAndRust:

Someone should conference in all the players on their cell phone and then call in to the station!!
Avatar 6:41pm Linda Lee:

still bet the box is cheaper, even plus bag.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:42pm Nick the Bard:

well, there is a beer k-cup system

theworstthingsforsale.com...
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:43pm Nick the Bard:

and there's SORT OF a wine one

www.self.com...
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:43pm dale:

there goes my million dollar idea nick the bard. some douchebag is getting rich off of it!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:44pm queems:

HAHAHHAAH
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:44pm dale:

where's my car, dude?
  6:44pm JakeGould:

Canned wine is fine. Boxed wine is fine too.
  6:44pm boo boo:

Next time Hangouts (up to 9 video callers) so we can all watch the trainwreck.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:44pm queems:

oh god i just screamed irl
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:45pm Nick the Bard:

Orson Wells best film he ever made - Transformers The Movie
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:45pm queems:

there are no orson welles's here
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:46pm dale:

agnes moorehead called in on a candlestick phone through her operator.
Avatar 6:46pm Linda Lee:

@queems ~ may your neighbors be oblivious.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:46pm dale:

they'll love me when i'm dead used some music from suicide which surprised me.
  6:47pm JakeGould:

Raul Julia as M. Bison in Street Fighter. Just saying!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:47pm queems:

whoa scrooge needs a xanax
Avatar 6:48pm Linda Lee:

@dale ~ i'm not sure i get the connection. was he a Suicide fan?
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:48pm Asheville Jon:

wow, we might actually GET to page three!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:49pm Ken From Hyde Park:

There was a Google Hangouts 7SD episode in 2015.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:49pm Asheville Jon:

andy can't be in the play, wtf? GO TO HELL ANDY
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:49pm dale:

the most bizarre part of that doc was showing that orson hired rich little to play his protege (the peter bogdonovich character) in the film. that and he lived with peter and cybill shepard and got furious when there were no fudgesickles.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:49pm PigeonsAndRust:

At this rate we can fill up every 7SD from now to Christmas
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:49pm queems:

this is just a free for all now
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:49pm dale:

linda - just whoever produced the doc used that as incidental music.
Avatar 6:50pm Linda Lee:

i sort of figured so.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:50pm Kat in Chicago:

This is more entertaining than I expected it to be!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:51pm queems:

@kat AGREED
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:51pm dale:

DIE! DIE YOU POOR PEOPLE DIE!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:51pm dale:

the lux theater, the new david cinema....
Avatar 6:53pm Linda Lee:

a fine description of tonight's production, right there.. poo poo!
  6:53pm JakeGould:

Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the poor!
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the poor!
Kill, kill, kill, kill, kill the poor!
Tonight!
Avatar 6:54pm Linda Lee:

i could listen to Jude read anything, frankly.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:54pm Kat in Chicago:

nice sound FX
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:55pm queems:

jude's killing it
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:55pm chris:

enjoying the foley work as well.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:55pm Asheville Jon:

oh, time's up, show's over, play the outtro music
Avatar 6:56pm Linda Lee:

should've just let Jude read the story!
  Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:57pm spodiodi:

This is magic in the making
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:57pm queems:

someone call in and hug sm ken
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:57pm dale:

'want me to pay someone to hug you?'
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:57pm Asheville Jon:

this show is just swell with this playing in the background
www.youtube.com...
Avatar 6:58pm Linda Lee:

wrong line, Marley!
Avatar 6:58pm Linda Lee:

wrong Marley too!
  6:58pm JakeGould:

@AshevilleJon: That music is horrible.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:59pm Asheville Jon:

like i said, it goes with the show!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 6:59pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Who's calling in with the station ID?
Avatar 6:59pm Jude in JC:

<3
  6:59pm JakeGould:

@AshevilleJon: Ohhhh!!!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 7:00pm queems:

great job, jude
  7:00pm Listener Robert:

Just jump to the last line already!
Avatar 7:00pm Linda Lee:

beautiful job, Jude.
Avatar 7:00pm Jude in JC:

so much fun!!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 7:01pm Ken From Hyde Park:

<applause>
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 7:02pm Kat in Chicago:

god bless us every one
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥ 7:56pm PMD:

I'm so sad I wasn't able to listen live. For some odd reason.
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