Options In Real Life with Kimzilla and Emily: Playlist from February 21, 2018 Options

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In Real Life is a weekly show hosted by Emily and Kimzilla on WFMU. In each episode, Kim and Emily follow their own curiosity to interview people on about a variety of themes, getting the real scoop and learning about the real people behind each topic. Previous WFMU aired episodes include topics such as circus performers, taxicab drivers, bartender therapy, alien abductions, nudism and so much more.

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Options February 21, 2018: Femsplaining

Listen to this show: MP3 - 128K |  Pop‑up player! | Add or read comments

Artist Approx. start time
Interview with Kasia Urbaniak   0:00:00 (MP3 | Pop‑up)

Listener comments!

  7:02pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

That opening clip should be used against Andy when he mansplain
  7:04pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Geez will these two chicks shut up
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:05pm BennettCap:

  7:06pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

I feel so shamed
  7:09pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Sorry if I just got booted from this board
  7:09pm Emily:

Hiiiiii Aaron...
  7:09pm Emily:

@Bennett haha yes! New term. I will use it all the time.
Avatar 7:10pm kimzilla:

Oh Aaron, how are you today. Feeling ok? See how I changed the power dynamic?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:10pm Dave in Vermont:

can you spell her name ?
  7:10pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

He he. Are we gonna have a weird friendship now
Avatar 7:11pm kimzilla:

Kasia Urbaniak
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:11pm Ken From Hyde Park:

The first femsplaining I experienced was when I was little. It was momsplaining. "But why?" "Because I said so."
Avatar 7:12pm kimzilla:

Come on Aaron, its already weird!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:12pm Richard S:

  7:13pm Emily:

@Ken from HP oh man, guilty—I momsplain to my friends kids all the time.
  7:13pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

True. I remember almost starting a riot during hoof and mouth last year making a breakman esque joke
Avatar 7:13pm kimzilla:

Here is her website. www.kasiaurbaniak.com
  7:15pm Emily:

@Aaron, aah yes...the bikini years...
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:15pm queems:

this is so important
  7:15pm Emily:

Wait, Aaron, what did you say?
  7:15pm Emily:

@queems AGREED
I learned so much!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:16pm melinda:

Agreed. It's phenomenon that needs to be discussed.
  7:17pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

That we didn't need Jews around wfmu. I was referring to the ability for the morning show to raise money. Whoops. Wording is everything
Avatar 7:20pm JakeGould:

Oh geez, I was late for the badly worded ethnic joke?

Anyway, power dynamics in the workplace are screwed up. Heck a ton more for women than men, but the creepiest part of the corporate world to me is how after some set amount of time—like 3 months, 6 months, 1 years—suddenly co-workers treat you differently. Unwritten rules.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:22pm queems:

i'm going to have to listen to this again later in my headphones so i can really absorb it
  7:23pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Jake next time be on time for the ethic humor ackwardness
  7:24pm Emily:

Yeah, geez—we were waiting for you to respond!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:24pm melinda:

This is interesting. I have found that asking questions, sometimes even only in my head, really is a good way to shift focus away from myself when I'm feeling uncomfortable, it sort of turns down the volume of overwhelming emotion.
Avatar 7:26pm JakeGould:

@Aaron: I accept your awkward Jew-foot in moth jokes as a side effect of bad timing.
Avatar 7:27pm JakeGould:

Foot in mouth. Not foot in moth.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:27pm queems:

i've found that in my experience that a lot of men have no interest in learning how to act better
  7:27pm Emily:

@melinda that’s so interesting! I’m going to try to keep an eye on that—I wonder if I do it sometimes and don’t realize. Anyway, I want to try this tactic!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:28pm melinda:

I like foot in moth.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:28pm ultradamno:

A foot in a moth would be no small feat.
  7:28pm Emily:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:28pm Richard S:

Any of the guys out here familiar with the "Art of Manliness" blog?
Avatar 7:28pm kimzilla:

@queems, the ones doing it wrong are definitely resistant to learning how to change, It's like they want the ass grabbing golden days to stay forever.
Avatar 7:29pm JakeGould:

In an awkward situation actually turning someone’s words back on them as a question is a good tactic.
  7:29pm Emily:

@Richard I haven’t heard of that—what’s it about?
Avatar 7:29pm βrian:

God story-tellng needs a foot.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:30pm melinda:

Emily I think being highly sensitive drove me to figure out strategies for being more comfortable with people and less susceptible to feeling hurt or insulted.
Avatar 7:30pm JakeGould:

@Richard: Looks like a bunch of hipster “manliness” B.S. to me. www.artofmanliness.com
Avatar 7:31pm βrian:

I don't test well, but everyone I tutor tests very well.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:32pm Richard S:

www.artofmanliness.com - It's basically about the lost art of being a well-rounded MAN, like your grandad. A counter to "bro" culture, the whole "Get six-pack abs in four weeks, and have sex with any woman" thing.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:32pm melinda:

The Jason Bourne Situation Awareness feature on that site looks like it might be useful.
  7:33pm katharsis:

Hello all
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:33pm Richard S:

I like their philosophical essays. Like their series on the history of honor.
Avatar 7:33pm JakeGould:

@Richard: This seems bro-bullshit: “How to Replace Your Wiper Blades” WOMEN DON’T READ THIS! www.artofmanliness.com...
Avatar 7:34pm kimzilla:

Hi Katharsis!
Avatar 7:34pm βrian:

@JakeGould: Yeah, I never got the sense it was anything but self-deprecating silliness. But well done.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:37pm Fox:

There are a lot of similarities in what she is saying and the themes in the Malcolm Gladwell book "Blink"; it's all about your instinct, and learning how to train and trust your subconscious, which is absorbing and analyzing in an instant.
Avatar 7:37pm Jeff Moore:

Way off topic:

I keep wanting the plural of dominatrix to be dominatrices.
Avatar 7:37pm JakeGould:

An ad for Capri-Sun on sale at Associated supermarkets just came up on that “Art of Manliness” blog. Just saying!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:40pm Richard S:

I beg to differ with you about its relevance, Brian and Jake (and they have to make $ somehow; it's a full-time job for them). But that's a matter for another discussion.
Avatar 7:40pm βrian:

... and I think it also plays on the sense that a lot of people are so focused on "career paths" that they've never worked in the way that many people work.

So their real-world experience is, in some ways, vicarious — and blindingly identical to the experience of their colleagues.
Avatar 7:42pm kimzilla:

@ Jeff, that totally makes sense in my brain. @Fox,So right, the instincts cannot be taught in HR classes. I don't know how you teach gut trusting though.
  7:44pm Listener Robert:

What kind of career paths, Brian, and how do other people work?
  7:44pm JC:

this conversation is awesome. thank you!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:47pm melinda:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:47pm queems:

i would go to an event like this
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:48pm melinda:

Me too.
Avatar 7:51pm βrian:

It seems to me that people no longer experiment or move from one field of work to another — because of fear, sclerotic thinking? I don't know.

But it feels like the range of work/life experience is growing more and more narrow.
Avatar 7:52pm JakeGould:

@βrian: Dude, there is no stability in the job market. So people are afraid of taking pay cuts and having a career switch fail.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:53pm melinda:

There was much more useful information in the Femsplaining show than in the Mansplaining one.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:53pm queems:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:53pm Fox:

βrian: Sclerotic thinking? More likely health insurance.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:54pm queems:

*@melinda i forgot to actually finish writing your name guh i'm tired
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:54pm melinda:

  7:54pm Listener Robert:

Seems to me that there are fewer opportunities to branch off a career path nowadays because so many jobs require, formally or informally, credentials that one can afford to get only with commitment.
Avatar 7:55pm JakeGould:

There’s a lot of painful hand-writing on NPR shows abut why people don’t quit crappy jobs? The revelation is face-lam worthy. Sorry to sound cranky, but it’s like people never needed money for real from a job before.
Avatar 7:55pm βrian:

No doubt. And a lot of the folks in charge of hiring want to see the same kind of uniformity that makes them feel comfortable.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:56pm ultradamno:

I just watched Something Wild (61, not Demme) which is rich for that kind of analysis.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:58pm melinda:

Great show, ladies!
  7:58pm Listener Robert:

The sort of qualification that employers consider relevant now (or at least their HR depts. do) has become ridiculously narrow and defiant of common sense. Like my friend who was passed up for a bookkeeping job at a spice importer in favor of someone else who'd been a bookkeeper for a spice importer.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:58pm queems:

thank you!!
Avatar 7:58pm Jeff Moore:

In recent decades I've become less and less able to ignore just how dysfunctional the behavior depicted in so many beloved "love songs" is.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:58pm Richard S:

Another wonderful and informative interview!
Avatar 7:59pm βrian:

I guess, I'd just say that if you don't have a diversity of work experiences, your aptitude to respond to a diverse set of challenges wont' be sturdy.
Avatar 7:59pm coelacanth∅:

Thanks kimzilla and Emily
Avatar 7:59pm kimzilla:

@ Jeff Don't even get me started with the creepiness of some of those love songs out there!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm melinda:

Nice exit song.
Avatar 7:59pm JakeGould:

@JeffMoore: Romantic comedies are stalker dramas.
Avatar 8:00pm Jeff Moore:

Avatar 8:00pm JakeGould:

Every breath you take. Every move you make. Every leaf your rake. Imma watching U!
  8:01pm yippie:

Avatar Swag For Life Member 8:10pm Fox:

Jake: that was supposed to be about a stalker.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:57pm PMD:

Listening after the fact. Excellent
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