Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from April 16, 2014 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options April 16, 2014: Female Callers Only Sing to Andy or Speak Deutsch to Ken

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Here are the lyrics to "Nobody Does it Better," if you are of the female persuasion and you would like to sing it to Andy:

Nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, you're the best

I wasn't lookin', but somehow you found me
I tried to hide from your love light
But like Heaven above me, the spy who loved me
Is keeping all my secrets safe tonight

And nobody does it better
Though sometimes I wish someone could
Nobody does it quite the way you do
Why'd you have to be so good?

The way that you hold me whenever you hold me
There's some kind of magic inside you
That keeps me from runnin', but just keep it comin'
How'd you learn to do the things you do?

And nobody does it better
Makes me feel sad for the rest
Nobody does it half as good as you
Baby, baby, darling, you're the best

Baby, you're the best
Baby, you're the best
Baby, you're the best

Artist
Ken & Andy 

Listener comments!

Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:01pm PMD:

Ja ja.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:01pm P-90:

Is that live video today? Wow, it's like the Radio of the Future
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:02pm Grammar Bug:

Absent with excuse. Teachers hear that all the time.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:02pm P-90:

Oh, it's just a gif from the Marathon
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥   Wed. 4/16/14 6:03pm -max-:

Now he is literally phoning it in!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:04pm northguineahills:

Buzzfeed (I know) has a music nerd quiz where one of the question ask if you know of WFMU.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:06pm P-90:

Nothing more distracting than haters on the phone
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:06pm Grammar Bug:

The lunch meeting was at the Playtime Boutique right along route 1 in Edison. I've heard that one before, actually.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:08pm PMD:

Well, you both miss out. I was going to sing Nobody does it better in German (German lyrics).
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:08pm EzSezz:

Isn't there an app for this?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:09pm PMD:

"I clicked myself dry"
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:10pm Marshall Stacks:

That's one for the bingo card!
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:11pm P-90:

I don't know Jersey, I'm guessing Playtime Boutique is one of those trendy new Hong Kong hot pot restaurants?
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:11pm Grammar Bug:

Like every other female in his cumulative experience, his GPS finds Andy annoying and tries to passive-aggressively sabotage him.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:12pm P-90:

Or a vegan Thai place?
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥   Wed. 4/16/14 6:12pm common:

andy late again?
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:12pm Grammar Bug:

@P90 -- an adult novelties store, has been there for many many years
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:15pm P-90:

I never get to Edison. Hard to guess what kind of place from the name. So that's where hot writer-producers take meetings out there
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:16pm P-90:

This "route 1" sounds like a bit of a red light district
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:17pm Grammar Bug:

It's on the way to Rutgers, that's why I know most of the landmarks along that stretch of Route 1... Of course it would be totally jammed at 5-6 PM on a weekday. Duh!
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:19pm Grammar Bug:

Driving route one is like self-piloting a roller coaster that runs along a track between between cement walls. Very Jersey.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:19pm P-90:

The road or the adult novelties store? Or both?!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:19pm Listener Julian:

Just tuned in and was worried that I'd missed something. Glad to know I was wrong.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:20pm Grammar Bug:

I've been in the PB, and I've known people who pretended they had been somewhere else when they had really been *there*.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:20pm P-90:

@Listener Julian: fear not
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:20pm mariano:

This is sexier than even the Mr Ed theme in German!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:21pm Foolbert:

I can't hear of that song without thinking of the "National Lampoon"'s 'Kennedy Fifth Inaugural" issue's ad for "The Spy with the Biggest Penis You Ever Saw in Your Life":

www.tbyil.com...
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:21pm PMD:

Ken sounds like he lost the will to live.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:21pm Listener Julian:

This is pathetic.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:23pm Foolbert:

My apologies (really, non-ironically): I should have included a work-safety warning, given thathere's at least one depiction of a naked breast in that image.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:24pm pacific standard simon:

Least successful porn movie ever -- "Talk Dirty To Me (In Yiddish)"
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:25pm pacific standard simon:

You Only Live Twice is the best.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:26pm steve in dc:

It's not too late for Andy to sing it to Ken. Right?
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥   Wed. 4/16/14 6:26pm cklequ:

I'm actually kind of enjoying this mess.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:26pm P-90:

I also like the sound of German, when spoken by women.
Like Japanese, German sounds very clipped and martial, like an officer barking orders, when spoken by men. But they both become very delicate and gently sensual-sounding when spoken by women.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:27pm Listener Julian:

Open phones. That'll turn things around.
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥   Wed. 4/16/14 6:27pm Nick the Bard:

Open phone Wednesday. better get your calls in now guys, I'm not call screening tonight ;P
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:28pm pacific standard simon:

Ken, you think the show is a trial NOW -- wait until Andy's in adult diapers.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:28pm P-90:

Why couldn't they go ahead and have the ladies call and sing the song, and Andy could listen in the car?
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:29pm P-90:

Open phones, no screener, here we go
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:30pm not that clay:

When I was 20 I lost my plane tickets to Russia. I left them in a bookstore. 30 minutes later I found them. The trip sucked, I would have been better off if I hadn't found the tickets.

Maybe andy is better off not making it in tonight. It can always get worse!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥   Wed. 4/16/14 6:30pm Nick the Bard:

It soudns like there is a screener, just not me tonight, so you're probably not getting as hasrhsly judged for your lousy calls.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:31pm PMD:

Because the one who called was no good. /and Andy doesn't deserve it
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:31pm Listener Julian:

Yeah, but Henry showed up is the thing.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:33pm P-90:

Has anyone followed up on young Henry to confirm that he recovered from the suicidal depression Andy induced that day
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:33pm ScottC:

Let's hope the New Jersey Sate Trooper has a dash cam...
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:33pm Asheville Jon:

I am in for $10!
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥   Wed. 4/16/14 6:34pm cklequ:

Can we do this on the comments board? I'm in for another 20.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:34pm Foolbert:

I was about to say:
Andy _should_ be unprofessional because he is unpaid; he feels so bad because he is a true 'amateur', that is to say he does the show out of actual love, even if it's the problematic love one has for a lunatic parent or a deformed child.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:34pm P-90:

@Listener Julian: good point, Henry was there on time
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:34pm ScottC:

Cap in Andy's Ass because he is a member of the Bloods and was driving over the limit...
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:34pm Foolbert:

Is it too late to set Andy off searching for the afikomen?
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:38pm cee dubbles:

I wanna cover the side action on this. Depending on who pays me more, I can either valet Andy's Saturn or tackle & detain him. It's up to you, mein leibchen
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:40pm mariano:

No, the jelly donut thing is a myth: I think the donut is only called a Berliner in a certain part of Germany, but not in Berlin.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:40pm pacific standard simon:

What he meant to say was, "Very soon, my head will look like a jelly doughnut -- that got stepped on."
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:41pm Hackensack Slim:

Ken,
The girl of your dreams.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/File:Ilsa_she_wolf_of_ss_poster_02.jpg
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:41pm Foolbert:

Not so much a jelly-doughnut as a jam-packed beignet.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:41pm Jonathan Herweg:

I hope Andy's using a hand free device.
Avatar Wed. 4/16/14 6:42pm D in Miami:

Nobody does it half-assed good as you.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:43pm Cory:

how great would it be if Andy got pulled over?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:43pm PMD:

Genau
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:44pm P-90:

Women having a Ceder in Germn, now Ken is really gonna get aroused
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:44pm mariano:

@Foolbert: I had a curious experience ordering a napoleon in France. They found it really odd that it's called that in the States, to them it's a mille-feuilles.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:46pm Foolbert:

> I hope Andy's using a hand free device.
When, and where?
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:46pm ScottC:

previously Non-Profit if Andy makes it on time….
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:47pm cee dubbles:

I WILL KNOW HIM BY THE BLOODS TATTOO ON HIS LEFT CANKLE
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:47pm ScottC:

Terry Garr - Young Frankenstein - right?
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥   Wed. 4/16/14 6:48pm common:

go sam!!!
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:49pm ScottC:

Sam just melted WFMU's NP Status...
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:51pm pacific standard simon:

Sam rules, Andy drools!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:52pm Foolbert:

It might be called a 'Napoleon' in English-speaking countries to celebrate his defeat, much as in the (false) legend about the origin of the croissant (which might have been _renamed_ after the battle for Vienna, but existed well before it).

There's a Danish pastry called a 'Napoleon's Hat', a tricorn-like shortbread crust with marzipan in the 'head' section, usually chocolate-dipped:

mydanishkitchen.com...
  Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:54pm Brigitte:

Next time, with ADVANCED NOTICE, I can have my Oma call in...
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥   Wed. 4/16/14 6:56pm common:

i will see you in philly!
Avatar Wed. 4/16/14 6:56pm D in Miami:

I love the fact that I'm in a dumpy little hotel in Meknes, Morocco, and I can still listen to FMU on my phone! Now that I think of it, I'm wearing my WFMU t-shirt.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:57pm Foolbert:

I'm nearly face-blind, and I can't recognise my wife's car; I've memorised the index and am glad that there are plates on both ends.

Oh, and: איך בין באַזאָרגט וועגן דער יינגל, ער ס געגאנגען צו זיין אַ שמעקקער
  ווען ער וואקסט אַרויף.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 6:57pm EzSezz:

Guessing NJ state agencies. Now this is good radio!
Avatar Wed. 4/16/14 6:58pm glenn:

thanks for the danish kitchen link, p.s.s. there's some good stuff there.
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:59pm Nellie:

Great show!!!
  Wed. 4/16/14 6:59pm steuben:

my voice is gone, my face hurts and I'm crying. the funniest 7sd ever. you go sam.
  Wed. 4/16/14 7:00pm ScottC:

As Tom would say "I'll never get that hour back"...
Avatar Swag For Life Member ♥   Wed. 4/16/14 7:00pm -max-:

FORGOT THE LEGAL ID, KEN!!
  Wed. 4/16/14 7:00pm P-90:

well, it's been real
  Wed. 4/16/14 7:00pm earrie:

The show had everything! Excellent! Fantastic.
  Swag For Life Member Wed. 4/16/14 7:01pm Golde:

Happy Passover!! Time to dip some fruits in chocolate!!
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