Options Why Oh Why? with Andrea Silenzi: Playlist from April 9, 2014 Options

Andrea Silenzi speaks with friends, experts, guys in bars, and her own Grandma Phyllis about where love and sex meets technology.

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Options April 9, 2014: #19 - The Art of the Pickup (Pilot)

How meet people in public places, ask them to kill things for you, and make sure they won't steal your laptop when you bring them home. Featuring my anonymous ex-roommate, Laura Mayer, Grandma Phyllis, some dudes in a bar, and an interview with Dr. Robert Glover, the author of "No More Mr. Nice Guy."

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Artist Track Comments Approx. start time
    How meet people in public places, ask them to kill things for you, and make sure they won't steal your laptop when you bring them home. Featuring my anonymous ex-roommate, Laura Mayer, Grandma Phyllis, some dudes in a bar, and an interview with Dr. Robert Glover, the author of "No More Mr. Nice Guy."  0:00:00 (Pop‑up)
Beex  Beat, Beat   Options Free Music Archive   
Andrea Silenzi + Anonymous Ex Roommate  Advice for meeting people: make sure they won't steal your laptop and sea salt shaker   Options
RIP Sea Salt Shaker

0:07:41 (Pop‑up)
Apes of God  Advice for meeting girls: go to a funeral   Options
via Music for Maniacs

0:11:31 (Pop‑up)
Grandma Phyllis  Advice for meeting people: Be yourself, though she cautions, "I still don't know who I am. I know who I'm trying to be!"   Options   0:11:38 (Pop‑up)
Podington Bear  By Grace   Options Free Music Archive  0:15:36 (Pop‑up)
Laura Mayer  Advice for meeting people: go to a bar that's exactly 307 paces from your mouse-infested apartment.   Options
Follow Laura on Twitter.

0:14:53 (Pop‑up)
Dr. Robert Glover  Advice for meeting women: tell them to do something for you   Options
Dr. Glover, author of No More Mr. Nice Guy
& WFMU's former FMA developer Brett W. Thompson
0:28:05 (Pop‑up)
Riz Ortolani  Cannibal Holocaust Theme   Options Thank you for listening!  0:58:14 (Pop‑up)
Lee Rosevere  Randy's poem   Options Send me your creative submissions, and I'd love to air them on the show!  0:59:08 (Pop‑up)

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Listener comments!

Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:00pm Mike Noble:

up early this week?
Avatar Swag For Life Member 6:03pm Carmichael:

Why oh why is this page up an hour early? Andrea doesn't deserve the bile I've saved for Ken & Andy.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:04pm dale:

is the room mate the same actor as randy?
Avatar 7:04pm Ange:

Hi everyone! Just so you know I have a very low tolerance for harassment on my playlists. Anyone with negative words about me or my guests will be blocked. If you have concerns, send them to ken at wfmu dot org
Avatar 7:05pm BadGuyZero:

This guy sounds like the kidnappers on the phone in movies.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:05pm Folsom:

For once Andy is correct
Avatar 7:06pm Callieflower:

The exact voice I make a note of in my dating profiles
Avatar 7:07pm the glowing one:

and no-one believed him which got him genuinely upset, hehe
Avatar 7:07pm Ange:

He made me voice correct him!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:07pm Andrew Waterloo:

unfortunately, I hear the terms "tat" and "tatty" a lot
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:09pm dale:

you'll block people who don't believe the show is real?
Avatar 7:09pm cosmic matrix:

i like this guy, actually
Avatar 7:10pm BadGuyZero:

I hope he says "If you ever want to see your daughter alive again please deliver five million dollars in unmarked bills to..."
Avatar 7:10pm BadGuyZero:

Good thing he didn't have his dignity on his laptop.
Avatar 7:10pm cosmic matrix:

and this guy is real
Avatar 7:11pm Ange:

@Dale no, I love people who question what's real or not! Just kicking out the bullies.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:11pm dale:

Avatar 7:12pm teecer:

Grandma Phyllis! We need an update on her dating life!
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:13pm Ken From Hyde Park:

What, now? Just drop in on random funerals? Let's see how this plays out.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:15pm dale:

"talk to me like your stepfather?" uhhhh.....
Avatar 7:16pm teecer:

Double date with Grandma Phyllis! Does Tinder Guy #1 have a grandpa?
Avatar 7:17pm Ange:

I need to ask... if he does the Grandpa wouldn't be in NYC. Wondering if I should invite him to passover with my Grandma? I think meeting the family is pretty serious, right?
Avatar 7:24pm Austarr:

I loved her gluten and personal standards line. I logged in to see who I need to give credit to when I borrow (steal) it for the next few weeks.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:24pm dale:

maybe grandma phyllis can do a show with vicki's aunties
Avatar 7:25pm teecer:

Meeting family isn't always a serious event. It depends on how often you see your family. I met my boyfriend's parents when we were picking up his dog from their house, totally unannounced and unplanned.

Would you bring a friend to Passover? If so, then I'd say it's not that big of a deal if you bring the guy that you're dating.
Avatar 7:26pm Ange:

Yeah, Laura is so talented. Since she did that story for this pilot episode, it's already been picked up by some creative documentary radio shows in Australia! Our first syndication success.
Avatar 7:27pm Callieflower:

Following her on Twitter now
  7:30pm Marc:

Hello Andrea, I bad at both those things. Picking and ending.
  7:30pm Marc:

  7:31pm JakeGould:

This guy sounds like a player.
Avatar 7:31pm teecer:

Where did you find former Mr. Nice Guy?
  7:31pm Robert:

When we had mice, I asked them, "Blindfold, Mousie?", then put a paper towel over hir on the glue trap and smashed hir with a mallet on a pile of bricks in the alley.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:32pm dale:

sounds like this guy sells shoes or used cars. 'tell you what i'm gonna do....'
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:33pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Can't deny science, right? It's scientific.
Avatar 7:33pm Callieflower:

In an old Alice Cooper song, teecer
Avatar 7:34pm Ange:

Yeah, there are some things I very much disagree with about his methods.. but his ideas have been helpful for some of my friends
  7:35pm Brigitte:

Perpetually demonstrating low interest, urgh.
  7:37pm Robert:

Ange, we could probably work on the tolerance problem. You're already more tolerant of criticism than a lot of people on YouTube, but I bet we could introduce it a little at a time and make you better at it.

Most important thing to remember is that YOU HAVE A SHOW! No matter what criticism you get, remember that THEY don't have a show. THEY are already coming to your "house", and by entering even criticism, they're acknowledging that they're listening to you.
Avatar 7:37pm teecer:

@Callieflower, was he also the inspiration for Fantasy Man?
  7:39pm JakeGould:

It sounds like the guy is basically coaching a sociopath on how to be a human being, “If you say something to someone & they do not show interest, don’t push it. If someone shows interest, that means they are interested.”
  7:39pm Brigitte:

I feel like some people don't want to accept that there should be a *moment* of attraction, originating from some sort of primal place. Otherwise it just feels forced, phoney and exhausting for both parties...
  7:41pm JakeGould:

I have this rulebook I play by: If I have never had an interaction with you, I will give you a change. If you are a nice person, I am nice to you. If you are are an asshole, smell ya later!
  7:42pm JakeGould:

Tested for interest. The following guest. Courtesy is contagious! Tested for interest. The following guest. Courtesy is contagious! Tested for interest. The following guest. Courtesy is contagious!
Avatar 7:42pm Ange:

@Robert The criticism about the show doesn't bug me. It's that it gets in the way of actual conversation, because all of you feel like you need to come to my defense... it's just a bad vibe. Also, I don't like hearing my guests criticized -- we can disagree with them, just not call them names.
Avatar 7:42pm Callieflower:

Oh, no. He's advising men to start randomly touching us, isn't he?
Avatar 7:43pm BadGuyZero:

"Touch Tease Tell" sounds like the name of a game show hosted by Richard Dawson or Bob Eubanks.
  7:43pm Danne D:

crap I gotta listen to this archive
Avatar 7:43pm Callieflower:

lol, Randall. Thank you for saving that
Avatar 7:44pm Callieflower:

Hiii, Danne! Yes, you do!
  7:44pm Danne D:

sounds like a Chuck Barris game show for sure BGZ
Avatar 7:44pm Ange:

This part is icky
Avatar 7:45pm earrie:

Most women this.
Girls decorate and paint.
  7:45pm Brigitte:

  7:45pm Robert:

What's icky, the advice about being dominant?
  7:45pm Danne D:

wait Callie walking up to a woman and going "HONK HONK" is bad? :o)
  7:46pm Consuela:

Women love paint, men love alliterations. Makes sense to me!
  7:46pm JakeGould:

Ange, there is some social engineering thing that they even teach to salespeople to do where you lightly tap someone’s elbow during a convo to get them to fall into your sway.
Avatar 7:46pm Callieflower:

lol, Danne :p
Avatar 7:47pm teecer:

He acknowledged that the whole idea of "The Friendzone" occurs when a man shows attention to a women WITHOUT making his romantic intentions known. So why do men complain about getting friendzoned? They bring it on themselves!
Avatar 7:48pm Callieflower:

Yeah, I'm refusing to let men claim I'm forcing that upon them when they're too passive to act like romance is a priority
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:48pm dale:

this sounds creepy but his methodology is no less valid than hooking up in a bar. or meeting sailors to rid you of your mouse infestation. 'randy' from a couple weeks back is extremely confident, yet a douche. who's way is better?
Avatar 7:48pm earrie:

I don't date guys I can't be friends with..
  7:48pm JakeGould:

The Friend Zone? Is that the one where Christopher Walken screams, “The ice! It’s gonna break!”
Avatar 7:48pm BadGuyZero:

You get zero points for making it into the friendzone. You get six points for entering the endzone.
  7:49pm JakeGould:

Here. The 10 psychologoical effects of non-sexual touch. www.spring.org.uk...
  7:49pm Robert:

ALL of this stuff -- in real life, I mean -- bothered me. I just couldn't get into what Thos. Szasz referred to as non-discursive communication in dating.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:50pm dale:

i wanna hear someone tout hypnosis as a way to obtain a lover
Avatar 7:50pm teecer:

Does he have any dating advice for women? Or just to wait for a man to ask how they're doing?
Avatar 7:50pm Callieflower:

The idea of making achieving various levels in dating just creeps me out to no end
  7:51pm JakeGould:

Christopher Walken in “The Friend Zone” has advice on breaking the ice. www.youtube.com...
  7:51pm Brigitte:

I am sure some men take parts his advice in order to rack up women. At least that is how I feel when a man I am not *feeling* takes this approach. It can feel staged and that is a real turn off.
Avatar 7:51pm BadGuyZero:

@Callieflower: Mario has to touch Princess Peach to advance to the next world.
  7:52pm JakeGould:

“Women are these magically complicated things. You must use my magical scripts to woo them. WOO THEM! THE ICE IS GONNA BREAK!”
Avatar 7:53pm Callieflower:

Please, Randall. It's just Toad who's waiting in the castle
Avatar 7:55pm Callieflower:

You're going to ruin it if I find out you're looking at me in terms of weird, arbitrary steps, Mr. Nice Guy
  7:55pm Brigitte:

Taking this advice, as a woman in America, is a different story.
  7:58pm Robert:

How about this: Ask her, "If you wanted to find out how interested you were in me, what would you say?"
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm dale:

i give you a hard time, but i like the show andrea.
  7:59pm Brigitte:

I don't believe in Mr. Nice Guy anymore.
Avatar Swag For Life Member 7:59pm Ken From Hyde Park:

I believe Passover is coming up, right? Enjoy the seders.
  8:00pm JakeGould:

FWIW, the “Brett W. Thompson” link seems busted. It should may haps be. fluidtoons.com
  8:00pm JakeGould:

“Why is this night different than every other night?” “Because you are going to give me your number, Elijah.”
Avatar 8:00pm Ange:

thanks, Jake!
Avatar 8:01pm teecer:

How many nightmares am I going to have after hearing THAT?!
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