Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from February 13, 2013 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options February 13, 2013: Zingers for Leno

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Artist
Ken & Andy 

Listener comments!

Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:01pm Matt from Springfield:

Hi Ken and Skypeandy!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:01pm northguineahills:

I call shenanigans! What does that get me?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:01pm kat330:

Hey, K & A! Hi, Matt!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:02pm Philo Gristle:

Greetings & shenanigans, lot!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:02pm kat330:

Zingers what you want? Pick Molly's brain. She delivered a great one the other week!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:02pm Matt from Springfield:

@NGH: SHenanigans 6-5000, of course.

Hi kat, Philo, NGH and Delayers!
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:03pm John McCabe:

are limericks allowed?
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:03pm G:

andy sounds more trebly on skype
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:03pm Matt from Springfield:

Not at *this moment*... :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:03pm kat330:

@ngh: By shenanigans you mean ... ? On Ken's list I wondered if these jokes wouldn't wind up in Ken's comedy club debut on Monday.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:04pm kat330:

@G: OTOH, he sounds better than he ever did mic'd at the UCB.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:04pm G:

he's so far up several "talent" now get to skip their scheduled colonoscopies
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:04pm Matt from Springfield:

Well, once I become an Exec Producer (again), guess who's show "Go To Hell!" ISN'T getting picked up!!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:04pm the glowing one:

managed to finish re-assembling my PC in time for 7SD! success!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:05pm Philo Gristle:

I think he sounds better because doesn't have to wear pants.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:05pm kat330:

@Philo: Yeah, work "underpants" into a joke. The word itself is flat out funny.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:05pm Matt from Springfield:

Awesome, glowing one! Success in time for failure!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:05pm Philo Gristle:

The show "Gutter Helmet," however airs here consistently in between the plotted bits....
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:05pm northguineahills:

konichi-wa matt, kat, philo, G, John, the Glowing One; stop messaging, I can't keep up!
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:06pm G:

Ken the No-Joke Comic. I smell a shot on Leno.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:06pm northguineahills:

Wait, who's doing the music program.......?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:06pm kat330:

Fact is, news now moves so fast, jokes written now for next Monday will be old hat already.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:07pm G:

Is this the inaugural evening of the new Free Zinger Archive?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:07pm kat330:

When I first heard the news, I immediately thought of the joke that the Pope picked this particular time to resign so he can avoid fasting and pig out on meat during Lent, but then I heard Colbert do something similar already on his Tuesday Report. :,
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:07pm Philo Gristle:

As long as it's not the Zinger Free archive.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:08pm northguineahills:

Never mind, my iTunes went straight for GTDR stream, that was my confusion. It couldn't stand Ken & Andy's filth.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:08pm G:

It easily could be, Philo
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:09pm the glowing one:

Andy doesn't sound like Andy without the massy bass in his voice. He sounds at least 50 pounds litghter.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:09pm Danne D:

Need to figure out our best Pope Jokes
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:09pm Philo Gristle:

@ngh So Itunes goes to its happy place too, eh? GLad to hear it's GTDR!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:09pm Matt from Springfield:

@kat: You know Colbert's got any CathChurch news covered immediately!

"The Supreme Court gets it's 6th Catholic Justice! IS the tunnel to the Vatican complete...?!"
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:10pm G:

@glowing: He now sounds like the nerd he actually is :) Ever heard Howard Stern without his EQ?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:10pm Matt from Springfield:

Papal/Paypal, but that's old news on the comment boards already...
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:11pm the glowing one:

Howard Stern uses an EQ for his voice? haha!
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:11pm Greg of Portland:

Ah man now I'm thirsty for some wooder.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:11pm kat330:

Hey, Danne! Did some archive diggin' over the weekend. Found your first 7SD appearance was 5/7/2008 (unless you used a different handle earlier).
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:11pm Matt from Springfield:

The hot water from water coolers can scald your hand!! AmEdeo had to place a cold wet tea bag on his hand to ease the pain!!!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:12pm Philo Gristle:

Mobster Ewok. Banana Joe. Equally funny.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:12pm Tyler:

What about a joke that Rubio had cotton mouth?
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:12pm moose:

banana joey!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:12pm northguineahills:

@Philo: My only internet stations on my laptop iTunes are WFMU and Give the Drummer some. So, if WFMU's stream is choking, then it goes straight to Give the Drummer and vice versa.
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:12pm BZ:

It's Banana Joe
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:13pm kat330:

Philo first posted on 9.5.2007 (the 13 colonies mnemonic), and I first posted on 12.12.2007. Cool seeing how these lists evolved!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:13pm Matt from Springfield:

@kat: Easy enough to find the earliest comment appearance--for the future Indiana Joneses, however, they must locate Danne's first CALL IN to 7SD! And to Chris T as well, for the sequel :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:13pm Caryn:

Jokes about the Pope and zombies. Because the search for the culprit in the zombie warnings will continue, and the Canadians had this: news.nationalpost.com...
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:14pm Philo Gristle:

@ngh Limited, but top notch selection!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:14pm kat330:

@Matt: Not so easy if folks used various handles. Philo was jt JT and J.T. I was Kat and MarsKat and Pink Dinosaur, etc. ;)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:15pm Matt from Springfield:

More interestingly, I like how Danne's only "favorited" episode so far is Terre T from 4/5/02. Because:

"listener Danne D proudly admits to wearing the same style of fresh white reeboks for 15 years:
"I've been buying 'em since high school - so that would be what, like 1987? Interestingly, the price has like always been $55. You can't even find them on the Reebok website, but I saw them still at Footlocker (only place you can buy 'em) last month." " :D
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:15pm Greg of Portland:

No stoner I know eats Taco Ball. That joke makes no sense.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:15pm Danne D:

@kat - I assure you my first SSD appearance was MUCH earlier :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:16pm Matt from Springfield:

@kat: JT I know of, but was he ever "Jasperodus" as well, or was that another commenter?
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:16pm Greg of Portland:

@Caryn: I like it! Call it in!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:16pm Nick the Bard:

We DO understand what the word "topical" means right?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:17pm Danne D:

LOL - yeah Matt - they changed the style which is rather irksome
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:17pm Matt from Springfield:

"Disposable Select Penis™ -- the Jewel of Schmucks!"
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:17pm Danne D:

but still only sneakers I wear
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:17pm kat330:

OK, Danne -- do tell! I'm only talking about posted comments. I called in in 2004, but the first comments list was end of Jan. 2007. I went through every list between then and Philo's Sept. appearance (and beyond). Listener Zero, maybe?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:17pm Caryn:

@Greg: that still has to be worked into a joke. Hmm...
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:18pm kat330:

You want topical humor? Here's a truly *topical* thought: Cortisone soothes itchy skin and Prep H is great on your "ass-troids."
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:18pm Philo Gristle:

Jasperodus, yes, and Bob the Shark, and various dinosauruses..... can't remember others!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:18pm Danne D:

@kat I'm not sure if it's my first call but there was a SSD episode where they played 20 Questions. That's one I wish would magically appear and get played as a rerun.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:18pm hamburger:

there's a eunuch joke in there some... where...
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:18pm Danne D:

Mid-90s
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:18pm Greg of Portland:

@Caryn: You pitch it, they'll run with it.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:19pm Matt from Springfield:

@hamburger: EUNUCH with the castration jokes! ;)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:19pm kat330:

Speaking of which, can any joke about the asteroid tomorrow be made?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:19pm Matt from Springfield:

@Philo: I figured from context, once I saw JT and variants and the current Philo Gristle, wasn't 100% sure.
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:20pm Listener Nina:

How about: there was a bit of a scandal this week regarding Taco Bell's Doritos Cool Ranch tacos. It turns out the ground meat was horse meat, from a ranch full of horses wearing sunglasses.
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:20pm francis_c:

President Obama promised a smarter government - just goes to show you - size DOESN'T matter!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:20pm kat330:

@Ken and Andy: Do you guys even read the playlist comments? The Pope jokes were discussed way at the top. Guess only the callers count.
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:20pm FRED:

Q: WHY IS THE POPE RESIGNING?
A: TO SPEND MORE TIME WITH THIS FAMILY
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:20pm Matt from Springfield:

They ARE 100% sure of 100% horse lasagna, though! Why are people complaining, that sounds pretty pure to me!
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:21pm Listener zero:

Danne D: "What's Your Damn Phat Line, Word!"?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:21pm kat330:

Hey there, Listener Zero! :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:21pm Philo Gristle:

@Fred Just one family?
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:21pm FRED:

A: with HIS family...
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:21pm Caryn:

Surely there's some material in the loon's manifesto. The "Hangover 3" bit alone! You know, considering how the first two movies were pretty much the same film, how much has he really missed?
Of course, reality ruins the joke, because the third film is supposed to be completely different.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:22pm Listener zero:

Hey there, kat330.
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:22pm c-wolf:

In light of the horse meat scandal, Taco Bell thought that they could mask the taste with Cool Ranch Doritos
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:23pm JM from Somerville:

WWTFD "what would Tina Fey Do?" jokes
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:23pm Caryn:

Why is the Pope resigning?
He isn't resigning, he's just quietly being moved to another parish.

Get it? Pedophile priest joke!
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:23pm Listener Nina:

It's not Marco Rubio's fault that he took that sip of water. Someone had told him he was doing a dry run.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:23pm kat330:

What about some jokes in re the Republican Party's decision they all just have to SMILE more. Smiling is the problem. Considering Cheney was a "frown hoarder" (as Stewart noted), not such a bad tack.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:23pm Matt from Springfield:

"Banana Jo"? Banana was a dog of Brian Wilson! Banana and Louie both had a part at the end of "Caroline No", concluding the Pet Sounds album.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:24pm Listener zero:

Caryn: He is giving up the papacy for lent. The Church is all up in arms, wants him to carry his papacy to full term.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:24pm Matt from Springfield:

YES! Heard about the TV hack today! In Montana?
In any event, signal intrusion is for analog TV, since it's all digital now it's probably easier to "hack" into it from a computer.
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:24pm JM from Somerville:

Liz Lemon Pledge
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:24pm Nick the Bard:

Polie dog bites cop in crotch

www.wftv.com...
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:25pm c-wolf:

The scandal isn't that Marco Rubio reached for the bottle of water, it's that he was reaching down to pet Banana Joe.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:25pm jawsey:

Joke fodder? Valentine's Day tours of a waste-processing facility in Brooklyn! (True news item.)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:25pm Matt from Springfield:

@kat: Shhh, maybe "smiling more" is a codeword for legalizing weed! Don't spoil it! ;)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:25pm Philo Gristle:

Isn't this a repeat theme, by the way? I remember they did a similar show maybe 10 years ago but the joke never aired...
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:26pm Matt from Springfield:

Canada "Third World"!! Glenn's not gonna like that one! ;)
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:26pm Listener zero:

Philo Gristle: Twice, actually.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:26pm Nick the Bard:

Call in to talk in on the show, not to talk to me ::facepalm::
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:26pm cklequ:

@ Philo I remember this one too.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:26pm Philo Gristle:

One nation, under Canada.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:27pm Chris M.:

all the Rupert Pupkins are coming out in full force!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:27pm Danne D:

Kinda snuck that in there M_f_S ;)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:27pm Philo Gristle:

Thanks, LZ!
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:27pm Sanitize:

The penis story for Leno knuckleheads: USE THE TERM MEMBER!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:27pm Caryn:

The Catholic church shouldn't be surprised about him quitting the papacy. Ratzenberger just can't stick with any movement for more than 7 years. Heck, he quit the Hitler Youth after that time! Not because Germany lost, but because he just got bored.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:27pm Danne D:

I like that Andy got it :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:27pm kat330:

The RNC should adopt this smile:
blogfiles.wfmu.org...
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:28pm Danne D:

Now for a Downer call...
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:28pm Mr. Lowry:

I've got one!

Mark Rubio would rather have a bottle in front of him than Obama in front of him.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:28pm Matt from Springfield:

And tally another call to Danne!
(I actually missed the punch line the first time because I was reacting/typing to the Canada line!) :)
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:28pm Greg Popovich:

Sea World re-named their sea slug Joey Buttafucco
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:28pm Danne D:

My other thought was for a Pope/Taylor Swift joke
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:29pm hamburger:

(we gotta stick with our sea slugs) :oD
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:29pm JM from Somerville:

Would the Pope retire to Miami or Phoenix, or Leisure City, NJ?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:29pm Danne D:

Something like "The Pope called Taylor Swift the other day to get some tips on committed relationships"
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:30pm Listener zero:

Philo Gristle: "Writing Jokes for Andy's Trip to Baghdad", Nov 12, 2003 & – I believe – "Comedy Monologue". Apr 9, 2003
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:30pm kat330:

Care, too, about your typing slaves, guys!!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:30pm jawsey:

Love the One You Whiff ... www.nj.com...
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:30pm Danne D:

(btw, I actually did say lowrider in my call I believe)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:30pm Matt from Springfield:

@Caryn: Ratzenberger was "Cliff" from "Cheers" :)
The Pope had the Andy-friendly name of "Rat Zinger"!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:30pm Danne D:

Somebody call with my Taylor Swift joke - that's good. Or you can take credit for it if you want Nick :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:31pm Matt from Springfield:

Fredericks!
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:31pm Listener zero:

Fredericks!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:31pm Caryn:

@JM: nah, he'll retire somewhere different. Like Climax, Colorado. Or Intercourse, Pennsylvania. Or Beaver Creek.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:31pm Matt from Springfield:

Good integration of all the themes! :D
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:31pm Greg of Portland:

Nice one, Fredericks!
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:31pm Listener zero:

I was thinking about the same stupid joke, btw.
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:31pm c-wolf:

the snails and and the government need to cut members???
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:32pm G:

Leno jokes skew kinda anti Obama lately, guys. Check his archives. That may make it impossible for some of us to compete at all.
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:32pm JM from Somerville:

Does the Pope ski? (or that was the last one, sorry)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:32pm Nick the Bard:

I think I'M starting to lose my will to live...
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:32pm Listener zero:

Obama talking about smarter government, the plan involves replacing Congressmen- and women with sea slugs.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:32pm Caryn:

@Matt: hah, I remembered that completely backwards! I'm sure there's a joke there. Or a tumblr meme with Cliff's head on the Pope's body.
"The Pope wants out of the papacy, because he just wants to go somewhere where nobody knows your name."
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:32pm Danne D:

@JM that was the last one. This pope plays piano
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:33pm Matt from Springfield:

Tide couldn't understand why their new, mini bottle of detergent was selling so poorly in South Africa--"A Part Tide" was marketed all over.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:33pm Danne D:

The real reason the Pope is resigning is after watching the Grammy's he's decided to go on tour with Elton John
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:33pm G:

proof? here's a Leno joke from last night:

"This is a real break with tradition. When the president walked into the chamber, instead of "Hail to the Chief," they played “Hey, Big Spender.” "
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:34pm Caryn:

@Matt: hah!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:34pm Philo Gristle:

Nice, Matt!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:34pm kat330:

Cute Matt! Fallon seems the one doing the most puns.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:34pm Matt from Springfield:

Mairzy Doats
And Doezy Doats
And Sea Slug Strap-On Dildos.
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:34pm JM from Somerville:

the Pope retires, and plays piano in a lounge across the road from Newark Airport
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:35pm Matt from Springfield:

Go Fallon then! And thanks, people!
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:36pm Listener zero:

… and afterwards he had a murder party.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:37pm Nick the Bard:

The callers tonight seem to be really fixated on sea slug penises. What's up with that?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:37pm Matt from Springfield:

@G: Is that Leno's personal inclination, you think? Or is he and Letterman responding to polarization by going for the extremes? Years ago a study showed Leno's audience skewing 52% R, and Letterman's skewing 52% D--are they now just catering to their perceived majorities?
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:37pm Listener zero:

They actually had lasagna with 100% horse meat here in Germany
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:37pm kat330:

"Mask a pony" cheese on the lasagna pun was used WAYYY long ago. The best I've heard on that story.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:37pm Matt from Springfield:

@Nick: I blame the media!
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:37pm JM from Somerville:

The Pope abstained from horsemeat and sea slugs during lent
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:37pm Danne D:

"The British were suspicious that something was wrong with their meat when they discovered food they made actually tasted better"
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:38pm hamburger:

mad cow joke in there... maybe..
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:39pm Listener Nina:

After the State of the Union speech, critics said that Obama's talk about gun control was beating a dead horse. But hey, it could be worse. I hear that, lately, British Prime Minister David Cameron has been eating a dead horse.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:39pm Listener zero:

Rubio's water bottle feuding with the Coors Light bottle from the commercials with Ice Cube.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:39pm Matt from Springfield:

@Danne: Good mainstream joke, refs the quality of British food.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:39pm G:

Leno is more flyover (and therefore a bigger audience), so he probably goes more middle of the road and hits both sides some, while some hosts are leery to hit Obama and maybe look bad for it
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:39pm Caryn:

The Superdome blackout was due to OJ's "Ocean's Eleven"-style attempt to steal some more of his old awards back. The Super Bowl party was just a ruse.

Or: OJ had a Super Bowl party, and then complained because his giant foam finger didn't fit his hand. Or something.

@Nina: nice, tying things together
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:40pm Mark L.:

Danne D has the best joke so far (on the horsemeat).
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:40pm kat330:

What about the woman who died from a heart attack because she was addicted to Coke (according to the coroner)? I saw that and thought the soda immediately, but wondered why her photo showed her so thin. Philo said "Coke" meaning cocaine. I felt the fool! Then I opened the link, and hey, it WAS Coke the soda! (Caryn, your cherry cola is rescinded ;)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:40pm Matt from Springfield:

As long as "hairy bitches" is used in connection with the Kards, I'm happy! :)
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:41pm Listener zero:

wait what
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:41pm c-wolf:

in the US, taco bell introduces a new flavor to mask the horse meat
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:41pm northguineahills:

If the Kardashians are Armenian, I can guarantee the body hair... (sorry for the uncouthness)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:41pm Danne D:

Ken figured out my joke finally ;o)
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:41pm John McCabe:

more strap on jokes
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:41pm kat330:

An improvement on bangers and mash.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:42pm dw:

USA bans North Korea's only potato-chips brand, "dik'taters' which are of course made from dried-up sea slug penises.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:42pm Danne D:

I have to admit that I'm disappointed that my material is probably the funniest.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:42pm Caryn:

@kat: aww. I don't even care for Coke much, I just wanted a flavour I can't get here. I'm just a recreational drinker.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:42pm Listener zero:

Of course, John McCabe, of course.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:42pm Matt from Springfield:

@kat: Coca Cola, 2 gallons a day, for 10 years--that'll kill ya! Oh, the HFCS!!!
And without any nutrition and running on sugar, I imagine she would be skinny. No muscle mass for sure.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:42pm kat330:

@Danne: You have quote marks on the horsemeat joke -- where's it from?
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:42pm Instead of fish and chips...:

Bangers and mash?
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:43pm c-wolf:

carnavil cruise ship would be towed back much faster if it didn't need to wade through all those snail penises
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:44pm Michael:

1.) 'They might elect a black Pope, but the Tea Partiers won't believe he's really Catholic.'
2.) 'The last time I came back from the Islands with a bunch of baggies, I was a lot happier than these guys.'
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:44pm moose:

i like caryn's foam finger joke
i read something about horse meat actually being donkey meat
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:44pm Matt from Springfield:

Good 1., Michael!
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:44pm Greg of Portland:

Gah, again with the dumb shit eating stoners.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:44pm G:

You know how they found out about Taco Bell and horse meat? The "Drop the Chalupa" Dog started whinnying his punch line.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:45pm kat330:

@Instead of fish and chips...:Bangers and mash? See my same note at 6:41. :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:45pm Caryn:

If they elect a Kenyan Pope, Sheriff Arpaio will try to prove he was actually born in Hawaii.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:45pm Matt from Springfield:

@moose: Split the difference, get some mule meat.
Moose meat? Where's glenn when you need him!
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:45pm Fredericks:

Mad horse disease! All they have left to eat are detached penises?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:46pm kat330:

Ken, does Andy -- CAN Andy -- even see the playlist comments? Or is it all by the phone calls?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:46pm Nick the Bard:

How the call screening tend to go :
me -"Seven Second Delay"
caller -"Hello?"
me - "hello?"
caller - "hello?"
me - "hi..."
caller - "is this wfmu?"
me - ::head hits desk::
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:46pm Danne D:

@Kat - me

I just used the quotes to indicate the comedic delivery
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:47pm G:

No "is it me?" Nick?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:47pm kat330:

@Danne: Mollusk.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:47pm Danne D:

I like the Nick the Bard insider comments - they are entertaining :)
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:47pm other david:

After the horsemeat scare, British scientists are now frantically analysing Spotted Dick for traces of male sea slugs

Or something
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:47pm Nick the Bard:

Surprisingly not, it's more people not realizing it's even the number they called
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:48pm kat330:

@other david: Heh! SOmeone should call that in since it will go unnoticed on the comments list.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:48pm Philo Gristle:

Nice one, OD!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:48pm Matt from Springfield:

@OD: Spotted Dick is...sea slug dick!!!!
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:48pm Michael:

'...in a completely unrelated note, Taco Bell announced that the beef in their new Doritos tacos would be "a sure favorite"."
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:48pm Caryn:

@od: hah!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:49pm Caryn:

@Michael: good one!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:49pm kat330:

But for Leno's purposes, probably too global a ref for his audience.
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:50pm G:

New Taco Bell seasoning levels: Light, Medium, and Dark Horse
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:50pm Matt from Springfield:

@OD: Morse avatar--nice!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:50pm Philo Gristle:

@G Good one, though I think all of it is dark horse.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:51pm kat330:

@OD: Like your new avatar, btw. Guess you surrendered to Chazaloo. ;)
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:51pm G:

Like many businesses, they like to give the consumer the illusion of choice, Philo
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:52pm cklequ:

The fatal flaw here is that there's nothing more painful to watch than a late night host's comedy monologue.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:52pm glenn:

jeeez caryn. you're stealing my post link posting.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:52pm kat330:

Do the female slugs eat the fallen-off penis to nourish the younguns she'll be carrying?
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:53pm Danne D:

@Kat Mollusk? I'm confused what you are referring to
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:53pm G:

crickets
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:53pm Listener Nina:

Scientists report that they've discovered a sea cucumber with a detachable penis. In other news, I just had the weirdest pickles.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:54pm kat330:

@Danne D: Mollusk = cool. (Philo-Kat lexicon :)
Avatar Wed. 2/13/13 6:54pm other david:

Ack, a nerdy avatar for a nerd :)

Also, howdy all!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:54pm Danne D:

I'll take a Lopez 3.5
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:54pm kat330:

GOOD one, Nina!! :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:54pm Caryn:

@glenn: what? where? Andy is confusing me so I'm completely lost.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:55pm Philo Gristle:

@Caryn 6:13
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:55pm Danne D:

Thx Kat :) I barely figure on how to read striaght-up English :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:55pm glenn:

and here in toronto, cops are threatening to attack people. with dildoes.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:55pm kat330:

As long as they didn't find MULE!
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:55pm Listener Nina:

Hey, thanks. =)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:56pm Matt from Springfield:

Howdy OD!
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:56pm moose:

haha burro-ito
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:56pm Danne D:

There were some good ones on here - if only Ken read the comments board during the show *sigh*
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:56pm Matt from Springfield:

BURRO! :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:57pm kat330:

Sea slugs, mollusks -- all works!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:57pm kat330:

I KNEW Ken would usurp some of tonight's output, heh!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:57pm Matt from Springfield:

Mollusk point, kat! :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:57pm Caryn:

@glenn: aah, I couldn't remember if anyone had posted it. But mainly I'm saying that there's still going to be zombie material that'll be topical on Monday, because it's all over the place.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:57pm glenn:

a joke - what's the difference between a radial tire and 365 blowjobs?
  Wed. 2/13/13 6:58pm drewo:

I give this show a 4.5!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:58pm Matt from Springfield:

WOW! The "Performance Space" is coming along quicker than I thought! Congrats, Ken and WFMU!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:58pm Caryn:

@Danne: Ken is saving the best comments for his own stand-up show. He ain't gonna give them to Leno!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:58pm Danne D:

Tacos Burritos Locos :)

Have a good night everyone :D
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:58pm kat330:

@Danne: We commenters are the lowest rung on Ken & Andy's ladders to success.
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:59pm glenn:

one's a goodyear..........
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:59pm Danne D:

Hmm Caryn I may have to show up and find out if that's true :)

Hope he steals the Taylor Swift one if that's the case :)
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:59pm kat330:

Byeeeee! Happy Valentine's Day to all I won't see tomorrow!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 6:59pm Matt from Springfield:

@glenn: Rimshot!

Good night Danne!
Good night Delayers!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 7:00pm Philo Gristle:

G'night!
Avatar ♥   Wed. 2/13/13 7:00pm Caryn:

Good night all! We'll be here all week. Try the fish.
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