Options Dinner at Andy’s with Ken and Andy: Playlist from November 7, 2012 Options

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The program formerly known as The Fuzzy Glove Hour, Whores, and The Happiness Hut. Ken and Andy, also known as The Enema Boys, further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards on a weekly basis. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

Wednesday 6 - 7pm (EDT) | On WFMU | 91.1, 90.1, 91.9 FM & wfmu.org
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Options November 7, 2012: The Seven Second Delay "Cares a Little" Foundation

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Artist Comments Approx. start time
Ken & Andy    0:00:00 (Pop‑up)
Andy's Ruined BBQ     
The Storm Was After Andy, and His Tree     
Andy's Broken Windshield     
Pamela Lost Her Arms!     
Pete from Boston (and NJ)'s Plant     
Vicki's Ruined Bulb     
Jeff Lost Internet Because of This Thing!     
Louis' Storm Damage     

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Listener comments!

  6:02pm Caryn:

And we, the listeners, care a little about 7SD!
  6:03pm Matt from Springfield:

Now don't go all crazy and care too much, guys!
Hi Delayed fans!
  6:04pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Is this a "Soak Andy" edition?
  6:04pm Michael in Baltimore:

Bring on the boiler stories!
  6:05pm G:

Andy didn't care enough to even come on mic
  6:05pm Apollo C. Vermouth:

I seemed to have lost track of my olive kind sir. Would you care to lend a hand?
  6:06pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

Everybody swim!
  6:06pm Caryn:

Is Andy at that survivalist camp?
  6:06pm Carmichael:

Is Andy still cowering in his basement?
  6:06pm Matt from Springfield:

Fixing boilers with a screwdriver stories!
  6:06pm Caryn:

Everybody paddle!
  6:06pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

Ooh...a Skrewdriver story!
  6:07pm G:

"The Philadelphia Story" (Andy's latest screenwriting triumph)
  6:08pm G:

Sounds like the mic in Andy's masturbatorium is coated in something thick.
  6:08pm Apollo C. Vermouth:

Is the hairless kid still in Andy's basement?
  6:08pm G:

Andy promises he will have lots of gas. Check.
  6:09pm Caryn:

Andy is planning to build a "Road Warrior"-style fortress to protect his gas cans.
  6:10pm Matt from Springfield:

But Crosby used heroin and hard drugs too. John Denver is the much cooler weapons hippie.
  6:13pm Matt from Springfield:

No Andy, you STOCKPILE your semen for hurricanes! In case you need some and you run out in the middle of a storm!

If trapped for years, you can even use some of it to reproduce with your partner. But not TOO much, even a little works. You need to save that semen for yourself.
  6:14pm Andrea:

Here's how to apply for the foundation--

To be eligible you have to 1) Have at least $4 worth of damage from Hurricane Sandy 2) Pose for a photo in front of your damage while sobbing 3) Upload that photo to the World Wide Web 4) Send a link or photo (with your mailing address and phone number!) to ken at wfmu dot org. Since our studio phones are kaputt, but sure to patiently wait by your phone between 6-7pm ET tonight.
  6:15pm Caryn:

Can you claim to have suffered over $4 worth of emotional damage? Because in that case, the crying picture would cover both the "damage" photo and the "crying" photo.
  6:16pm Dan B From Upstate:

Much better!
  6:16pm John McCabe in L.A.:

I dropped my sandwich listening to WFMU talk about the storm does that count It cost me 5 bucks
  6:16pm Matt from Springfield:

TWO boilers broken? Oh no, how many reserve boilers do you have left, Ken?!

MUCH better Skype now!
  6:17pm Bz:

ONE boiler story?
  6:18pm Caryn:

@John: I think the problem is whether they'll accept a photo of you crying with the receipt as proof of damage, or whether they'll demand a photo of you with the ruined sandwich.
  6:18pm Carmichael:

A photo of Andy sobbing? Jeez, pick ANY photo of Andy in the last 18 years.
  6:19pm G:

People should post pictures showing themselves weeping bitter tears over wasting four dollars worth of their time (that wouldn't be tough) just meeting the requirements to make a claim.
  6:19pm KM:

YES! DAVE HILL! about time
  6:21pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

Dave Hill's book was a pleasant read.
  6:21pm Matt from Springfield:

@Caryn/John McCabe: Besides a crying photo, you'll need a photo of sandwich on ground, for sure. To help move your claim along, a photo of you with sandwich in your hands, off the ground, would help immensely (to prove your association with the sandwich before dropping--it's fraud to claim a sandwich you find on the ground for insurance purposes).
  6:21pm chris:

why only hetero anal sex? just cuz she doesn't have a prostate? hell, she can ask a guy...
  6:22pm Carmichael:

Speaking of anal sex, I'm currently reading Girl With the Dragon Tattoo.
  6:23pm PMD:

Oops, didn't follow the rules.
  6:23pm Caryn:

Yeah, see, John, staging the sandwich accident again would cost an additional 5 bucks, so you'd still lose out, even if you get the 4 bucks from 7SD.
And that book can't be the ultimate guide to anal sex, if it leaves out gay anal sex completely.
  6:23pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

All this talk about takin' it in the dirty hole.
  6:24pm Carmichael:

You'd make a good attorney, Matt. Preponderance of evidence is vitally important.
  6:25pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

I bought a copy of "The Girl With The Dragon Tattoo" a couple of years ago. I saw the Swedish movie and hated it so much I lost all interest in reading any of the books or seeing any of the other movies.
  6:25pm Carmichael:

Caryn, it's a conservative guide to anal sex.
  6:27pm Caryn:

@Carmichael: but then it should be called "The Ultimate Guide to Straight Anal Sex" or "The Ultimate Conservative Guide to Anal Sex". Truth in advertising, people!
  6:28pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

Is there a liberal's guide to anal sex?
  6:28pm Carmichael:

@Caryn: Yo haven't been watching 6 straight months of political commercials. Subterfuge is the order of the day. That, and straight-out lying.
  6:29pm Matt from Springfield:

@BGZ: *Political* liberal/conservative guide to anal sex? Or for those who "give it liberally" or "hold it back"?
  6:30pm Caryn:

And certainly a truthful conservative guide to anal sex would include gay anal sex, considering the amount of closet cases in conservative circles who keep getting caught in airport bathrooms etc. getting it on with strangers.
  6:30pm Carmichael:

A constitutional amendment: anal sex is defined as one male penis inserted into one female rectum. It's now the law.
  6:31pm Caryn:

@Carmichael: oh, we had elections a week ago. We had to sit through that campaign, which was one of the most juvenile I have ever seen.
  6:31pm Hugh:

I may raped Pamela on that beach once, though…
  6:32pm PMD:

  6:32pm Hugh:

  6:32pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

@Matt from Springfield: My latest failed attempt at wit.
  6:33pm Hugh:

Pamela! We're kind of switching places. I'm moving to Asheville, to be closer to WFMU!
  6:33pm Caryn:

@Hugh: Todd Akin wants to know if it was a "legitimate rape"?
  6:34pm Dan B From Upstate:

Upload it to imgur, paste the link in the comments.
  6:35pm Hugh:

All mine are legit…
  6:35pm PMD:

What a dedicated loyal listener! Hope you enjoy your crunchy new home!
  6:36pm PMD:

Will miss seeing you so frequently.
  6:37pm PMD:

btw... 'moving to' is an interesting term for someone who had no home...
  6:37pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

I suffered when WFMU lost power and couldn't stream on the internet.
  6:38pm Jeff:

After the power came back, we tragically didn't have WiFi right away, because this little power wart for one of the gigabit ethernet switches in our house had stopped working.

Several excruciating minutes passed before I figured out what the problem was and found another power supply to swap in.

  6:39pm Danne D:

Hey folks. I'm suffering from a bout of cheerfulness following last night's election results
  6:39pm caver_mike:

Ken - Light bulbs cost less than $4.00.
  6:40pm Matt from Springfield:

@BGZ: Did you lose at least $4 because of that? Maybe you foolishly lost $4 on something that you normally wouldn't, because WFMU would have informed you better.
  6:41pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

@caver_mike: I've seen fancy energy-efficient bulbs that cost more than $4.00.
  6:41pm Matt from Springfield:

All right, Cheery D! :)
  6:42pm Ken From Hyde Park:

If the USA is on the brink of a fiscal cliff, is WFMU on the brink of a fiscal abyss? A fiscal nosedive? A fiscal ravine?
  6:43pm tim:

Too lazy to spell out "zero" ... that's caring very little. Bravo!
  6:43pm -max-:

Krampus sweaters: http://mcphee.com/shop/krampus-sweater.html
  6:44pm Caryn:

@Matt: he could claim emotional damage from being unable to access WFMU, leading to the need to use over $4 worth of antidepressants?
  6:44pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

@Matt: I got bored and wound up making a call to a 976 number which cost me $76.63.
  6:44pm Matt from Springfield:

@Caryn: Excellent! Start counting the per-unit cost of anti-depressants!
  6:46pm PMD:

@max..If I had the money I would buy that for Ken... but maybe it would be better going to WFMU..
  6:47pm Caryn:

@Matt: or alternatively, the cost of a doobie or two to feel better about WFMU being off the air
  6:47pm Jeffrey Immelt:

@BGZ: We had to bribe SO many politicians to get those boutiquey made-in-Guangdong bulbs legally forced on people. Well, at least some lobbying money is a good investment.
  6:47pm Caryn:

Andy, if you need to hide out, hide in your closet or attic. If there's flooding, the basement is not a good place to hide!
  6:48pm Caryn:

Seriously, Andy, you'll end up like Ken's boilers!
  6:49pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

I want that sweater.
  6:50pm Caryn:

This Christie story will be featured in Andy's "Ultimate Guide to Manual Sex", available right on time for X-mas!
  6:50pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Oddly enough, Andy hasn't lost the will to live yet. Usually happens way before this.
  6:51pm Christie the LuvGuv:

Ken's got a VERY SQUEEZABLE ASS. Unlike me.
  6:51pm jajar:

this food is eggzelent to listen to while drinking beer and eating sushi in bed during this weather. kudos to the both of you
  6:52pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

New band name: Chris Christie & The Hand-Job Zingers
  6:53pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

I have an internet machine.
  6:54pm Christie the LuvGuv:

Like my HERO Bruce:

Chris Christie and the Ass Grab Hand
  6:54pm Caryn:

I somehow think Christie would have a more squeezable ass than Ken. Ken would be more "buns of steel" from all that bicycle-riding.
  6:54pm KM:

make Dave your music guest also, he can do covers of Poison songs. guaranteed crowd pleaser right there.
  6:55pm Matt from Springfield:

LuvGuv! Christie, We have a meme!!
  6:55pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

Pornography is free?
  6:56pm The Interwebs:

(visual sex) information wants to be free
  6:56pm The Interwebs:

His Prius is pining away?
  6:56pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

Nature hates his nature-friendly car!
  6:57pm Caryn:

Too bad Mark Sanford is already the LuvGuv...
  6:57pm Pontus:

Hey the storm actually hit Sweden pretty bad, I couldn't listen to WFMU for several hours. No $4 in the world can repair that.
  6:58pm BadGuyZero (Dallas, TX):

Did he lose any Garbage Pail Kids???
  7:01pm Matt from Springfield:

Have a good night everyone!

Try not to lose $4 again when the WFMU stream is down!
  7:02pm Pete from Boston (and NJ):

Here is the tragic scene of devastation:

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