Options The Fuzzy Glove Hour with Ken and Andy: Playlist from July 11, 2012 Options

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The program formerly known as Seven Second Delay, and The Happiness Hut. Ken and Andy, also known as The Enema Boys, further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards on a weekly basis. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options July 11, 2012: Tonight's Programme: Testing Pickup Lines

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Artist Track Approx. start time
Ken and Andy  Seven Second Delay   Options 0:00:00 (Pop‑up)


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Listener comments!

  6:02pm Philo Gristle:

Hello Hello Hello!
  6:03pm kat330:

Hi, Ken! Hi, Andy!
  6:03pm kat330:

Cranking up the audio....
  6:06pm kat330:

You should get listeners there to be judges and hold up score signs for each act.
  6:08pm kat330:

That's if you're settling on calling it the Busker Olympics.
  6:11pm ange:

1pm or 2pm? I'm hearing one and reading the other :)
  6:11pm kat330:

Remember, you only want to eat the face off free range, grain-fed people. So vegans only.
  6:13pm kat330:

Ah, this explains why the list is empty. The guys have all scattered.
  6:16pm kat330:

She's real modest. That should make a LOT more guys willing to call in and be shut down.
  6:17pm Rendak:

Ah, a whole hour of hetero-dullery. Pick-up lines?
  6:17pm buddy:

pick it up .. pick it up....c'mon guys
  6:17pm kat330:

I think a jerk is needed in this instance.
  6:19pm kat330:

Andy's pickup line "You're my soulmate."
  6:20pm buddy:

How bout "first I lie to myself and then to you".
  6:21pm Mark T in Central VT:

A nice sybian machine in an apartment instead of a van
  6:22pm giraffe-o:

"nursing a baby"... nice one :D
  6:22pm Caryn:

I do think men have this crazy notion that you have to have an OTT, "unique" pick-up line, but in reality, most women seem to respond best to a standard introduction or offer of a beverage.
  6:23pm mossy:

i'm with you Rendak! straight mating rituals, ugh
  6:23pm Dan B From Upstate:

The music is killing me!
  6:23pm buddy:

this is horrible... once again you have done it... hopeless
  6:24pm Cliff:

*nosedive*
  6:25pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

Painful to listen to
  6:25pm Dan B From Upstate:

Guy: Don't be scared of me.

That's a surefire way to seal the deal! You're in, buddy!
  6:26pm kat330:

"I promise not to eat your face."
  6:27pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Andy should act as Cyrano de Bergerac and feed the dude some good lines.
  6:27pm buddy:

Your scared?... I'm scared. stop, stop, stop.
  6:27pm Dan B From Upstate:

I have a couple of lines, but it's the stuff that would come after the lines that I couldn't do. Even pretend.
  6:27pm kat330:

Clearly a player on the line.
  6:28pm MISTER JOHNNY:

I promise to eat whatever part of you that you desire...
  6:28pm other david:

"Hello, I'm from the internet - and I promise not to eat your face, can I interest you in some bath salts?"

*looks at face, licks lips*
  6:28pm dc pat:

Ok lay off guys! The "eat yer face" guy was NOT dropping bath salts. Get with it!
  6:29pm other david:

*eats dc pats face*
  6:29pm kat330:

Oh, right, pat. We wouldn't want to unfairly denigrate bath salts! ;)

Yo, OD!
  6:29pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hello comma how are you?

That sucks!
  6:30pm buddy:

see ya, this is pathetic. all time worst.
  6:30pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Man: Hello, how are you?

Woman: FUCK OFF!!!
  6:30pm Dan B From Upstate:

Do you come here often?

Not anymore...
  6:30pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

The creepiness is strong with these guys
  6:31pm MISTER JOHNNY:

It's a fine line between creepy and ultra-creepy.

True.
  6:31pm other david:

hey kat!

"would you like to see my pizzaboat?"
  6:31pm Caryn:

Of course he was not dropping bath salts, dc pat! Ken already established that you don't drop bathsalts (unless you're dropping them into a tub in preparation for a nice bath), you DO them.
  6:32pm kat330:

If you guys tuned in late, she answered "Duh!" when Ken asked if guys come over to talk to her in bars. I think only a jerk might get through in this case.
  6:32pm Mark T in Central VT:

Would the guy be wearing the SSD where's my two dollars shirt?
  6:33pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Wait, when does the guy slip a roofie in her drink?
  6:33pm kat330:

How's it coming along, David? [trying to think of something funny about pat's face and pizza and...it's not coming.]
  6:33pm Dan B From Upstate:

I think I need to try the jerk approach. Nice guy hasn't paid off for me in the past. How do jerks pick up gals?
  6:34pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Chicks LOVE ham radio!

Have that tattooed to Andy's face!
  6:35pm kat330:

@Dan: "If I said you have a great body, would you hold it against me?"
  6:35pm catbrain:

why is it guys talk too much. ask more questions dummies. me me me
  6:36pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Andy is the Prime Minister of Ted Bundy Country.
  6:36pm Dan B From Upstate:

kat, do girls really go for that? The awful line I was going to call in with was, "How much does a polar bear weigh? Enough to break the ice. Hi. I'm Dan."
  6:38pm Hunter:

In my years selling ham and shortwave radios, we only ever had ONE female customer...no lie
  6:38pm other david:

@kat: the technical hurdles appear too great - it just keeps getting eaten.

one suspects a new approach is needed
  6:38pm kat330:

@Dan: I wouldn't have a clue. I've somehow managed to escape the "single in a venue looking for another single" game. "Heart and humor and humility" are pretty much all needed to get a woman of that same sort. I have no idea what cocky singles say to interest each other.
  6:39pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Rusty is creeping me out, man...
  6:39pm catbrain:

this guy is going to get killed or thrown in jail.
  6:39pm Caryn:

Sheesh, where's the mace when you need it?
  6:39pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

Rusty is now in jail
  6:40pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Ask Rusty how he gets along with his parole officer.
  6:40pm Dan B From Upstate:

What if he feels her material?
  6:41pm MISTER JOHNNY:

That's the creepy part?

It's ALL creepy, Andy!
  6:41pm Hunter:

Rusty...what's his last name...trombone?
  6:41pm Dan B From Upstate:

Is there a mirror on the bar?
  6:42pm catbrain:

ken and andy are creeping me out. what are you doing?
  6:42pm kat330:

His voice is creeping me out.
  6:42pm other david:

oh god..
  6:42pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Rusty's image does not show in a mirror!
  6:43pm Caryn:

@Dan B: this would be the scene in a horror series where the woman being massaged looks into the mirror over the bar and sees no-one, thus establishing the masseuse as either a ghost or a vampire.
  6:43pm Cliff:

3 out of 10? That's better than my response rate on OkCupid...
  6:43pm hamburger:

prediction: rusty has a half eaten face
  6:43pm Caryn:

Rusty left to hose down the woman in the pit in his basement before telling her to "rub the lotion on its skin".
  6:44pm Philo Gristle:

"Put the lotion in the basket."
  6:44pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Rusty's Sneak-Massage Method has now been copyrighted.
  6:45pm Philo Gristle:

"I drink your milkshake!"
  6:45pm kat330:

Working women would probably appreciate a foot massage more than a shoulder massage.
  6:47pm MISTER JOHNNY:

It's amazing that Rusty can give a massage with his metal claws.
  6:47pm Dan B From Upstate:

@Caryn, have you heard the Paul F Tompkins bit, "The Sink And The Mirror"? Very funny.
  6:48pm Caryn:

Quick, Ken, tell her to pledge to get the WFMU flexidisc! Never miss out on an opportunity to get money!
  6:48pm other david:

"The Rusty" will surely be a listener premium next year
  6:48pm Caryn:

@Dan B: no, but now I'll probably have to look it up.
  6:49pm hamburger:

@OD or a punishment from the wheel of fate
  6:49pm MISTER JOHNNY:

His rusty metal claws will excite every woman's deepest desires...
  6:50pm Dan B From Upstate:

Found it on youtube, Caryn. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=72XBnJFJeDM
  6:50pm Caryn:

This show reminds me of the old Graham Norton episode where they had Sharon Stone and some other female star sitting at a bar and judging men's pick-up lines.
  6:50pm kat330:

A punishment might be listening to this episode of 7SD in a 7-hour loop.
  6:50pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hi, have you seen my buddy, Rusty?
  6:51pm Caryn:

Thanks, Dan! Will go check it out when the show ends.
  6:51pm other david:

hamburger: yes!
  6:51pm kat330:

Oooh, that's creepy, Ken!!
  6:51pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hi, can you help me with my fly - it seems to be stuck.
  6:52pm Jeff:

Oh, no - time for a boiler story!
  6:52pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hi, what kind of boiler do you prefer?
  6:52pm Dan B From Upstate:

Does this count as a boiler story for insurance purposes?
  6:52pm Caryn:

"Vanhempasi taitavat olla ostereita, olet sinä sellainen helmi." Ugh...
  6:53pm kat330:

Lyme Disease?
  6:53pm Caryn:

Would you like a bunny boiler?
  6:53pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hi, do you prefer a Swedish or Shiatsu massage from Rusty?
  6:54pm kat330:

Pearls before swine, Caryn. :) Pastis this past Sunday did a riff on my tag of Beware of geeks bearing .gifs, btw.
  6:54pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

They could really make some good sponsorship money from a boiler company
  6:54pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hi, have we met before in a past life? Did I murder you then?
  6:55pm kat330:

He should respond "Jolene, please don't take my man away." That should pique her interest.
  6:55pm Jeff:

The Finnish oyster pick-up is so 2011.
  6:55pm Caryn:

@Mister Johnny: I think the most physical contact I'd prefer from Rusty would be a tentative poke with a ten-foot pole, because he's not getting any closer than that.
  6:55pm MISTER JOHNNY:

ARE YOU INTO DATE RAPE?!?!

PERFECT!!!!!!!!
  6:56pm other david:

New show name: 60 Minutes of Uncomfortable Squirming
  6:56pm kat330:

Save that for the Catskills, Andy!
  6:57pm Jeff:

I'm still shivering involuntarily from hearing Rusty.
  6:57pm MISTER JOHNNY:

ARE YOU INTO GANG RAPE?
  6:57pm Cliff:

If not, how about a foot massage?
  6:57pm Caryn:

"Hi, I just got out of prison. Would you like to re-enact some scenes from Oz with me?"
  6:58pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Massage by Surprise is a death penalty offense in Sweden.
  6:58pm kat330:

'Night, non-players! Sleep sweetly!
  6:58pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

How's your Aspen?
  6:58pm Caryn:

Just go up to the club DJ and say "Play 'Misty' for me!"
  6:59pm Philo Gristle:

G'bye! G'bye! G'bye!
  4:49am Remote Caper:

Can someone please steal the money out of Andy's guitar case
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