Options Dinner at Andy’s with Ken and Andy: Playlist from April 11, 2012 Options

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The program formerly known as The Fuzzy Glove Hour, Whores, and The Happiness Hut. Ken and Andy, also known as The Enema Boys, further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards on a weekly basis. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options April 11, 2012: Treasure Hunt

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Listener comments!

  6:01pm Matt from Springfield:

Treasure Hunt--how silly, everyone knows the WFMU Music Library IS the treasure! We know where that is!
  6:01pm kat330:

This theme version is my fave, FWIW.
  6:02pm Burl:


I want to sail away to a distant shore, and make like an Ap Man
I'm an Ap Man, I'm an Ap Ap Man
I'm an Ap Man, I'm an iPhone man, I'm Ap Man
I am an Ap Man
  6:02pm kat330:

Burl Ives jokes!
  6:02pm Ike:

That's more of a meta-rape joke.
  6:03pm Philo Gristle:

Is Danne D on the hunt?
  6:03pm Matt from Springfield:

YES! Irwin the perfect Andy fill-in! Gum chewing, rudeness and rape jokes!!!
  6:03pm kat330:

Burl started without them. I doff my beret to you, Mr. Ives.
  6:04pm Jewish Radio:

We have an Afikomen, but no Host
  6:04pm Matt from Springfield:

I was just about to say...Danne won his $25 in a similar hunt years ago.
  6:04pm xox:

is there a new number ?
  6:05pm Caryn:

Ooh, is he gonna talk about how Disneyworld essentially becomes a gay leather S&M club after the gates close?
  6:05pm kat330:

A hard bat is good to find, speaking of treasure hunts.
  6:05pm Philo Gristle:

Saint Ives. As written by Ross Thomas. And performed by burly Chuck Bronson.
  6:05pm Matt from Springfield:

The bats are less than "melee" grade.
  6:06pm Jewish Radio:

Dock Andy? Is that a briss joke?

You guys need hookers?
  6:06pm Philo Gristle:

Get Booker T.
  6:06pm mike noble in nyc:

what am i, dead meat?
  6:06pm cglenn:

i dig those bats you gave out. it reminds me of when i was a kid. they had those balls with holes vented in them. Many hours of fun playing wiffle ball in Tulsa, Ok....
  6:06pm glenn:

I LOVE ROSS THOMAS!!! that's all.
  6:07pm Philo Gristle:

The Fools in This Town, Glenn.....
  6:07pm Matt from Springfield:

To absolutely no one's surprise...
SEVEN MINUTE DELAY!! (false enthusiasm)
  6:07pm Caryn:

I think Andy faked the panting to make Ken think he hurried. But alas, he was foiled by the security cameras...
  6:08pm Jewish Radio:

Andy's faking breathlessness to gin up sympathy, hopefully displacing possible recriminations over his tardiness.
  6:08pm kat330:

@Caryn: BTW, hope your Internet issues are over?
  6:09pm Matt from Springfield:

It won't disappoint you terribly, I mean it's not like it's a Breckman family Hannukah present!! :P
  6:09pm Caryn:

Is the lucre filthy? (That's my yes/no question.)
  6:09pm glenn:

chinaman's chance, mordida man, the eighth dwarf, everything he ewrtote was great. i love 'em all.
  6:10pm kat330:

Guess Danne's not here because he IS out looking for the treasure already. He's one D.etermined dude.
  6:10pm Caryn:

@kat: they seem to have passed for now.
  6:10pm glenn:

ewrtote? type much?
  6:11pm Matt from Springfield:

@JR: But Andy could face severe recriminations for showing up late, couldn't he? After all, he comes only because he was sentenced for some crime I assume, it would violate the terms of his sentence by arriving late?
  6:11pm DanofOrange:

Kristen and Kurt = awesome
  6:12pm kat330:

@glenn: Remember our little secret about maple syrup? (which I believe is why you have to counterbalance such sweetness by being acerbic)
  6:12pm Caryn:

Wait, I've missed the Schaal episode? Dammit! Need to go archive-trawling...
  6:12pm G:

Andy's ankle bracelet has already reported his lateness to his Parole Officer
  6:13pm Caryn:

I'll just whistle innocently and pretend I don't know the maple syrup secret...
  6:13pm kat330:

Well, here's a secret I'll share with you [everyone else look away, honor system!] Philo G. is JT. :) Nice you have the Ross Thomas in common.
  6:13pm G:

The callers are short bus refugees. What else is new.
  6:14pm Philo Gristle:

So I can't be obnoxious now? Drat.
  6:15pm kat330:

@the UCB Theater?
  6:15pm Kim:

Dear Andy is it? Chewing gum on the air. That's just gross.
  6:15pm kat330:

@Caryn: Well, then GOOD! (about passing Inet problems)
  6:15pm glenn:

i would suggest that maple syrup lovers go out and stock up. this year's crappy winter will make the delicious elixir scarce and costly.
  6:16pm forked tongue:

The most dispiriting words heard on 7SD: "Hi Ken, Hi Andy, it's Hunter."
  6:16pm Caryn:

Oh, sure you can, J... I mean, Philo! After all, nobody read kat's comment. We all looked away as she requested.
  6:16pm G:

Andy's made an entire decades-long radio career out of relentlessly and mercilessly smacking gum.
  6:16pm Close Listener:

An efficient strategy here would be to continually subdivide Manhattan by North-South and East-West lines, starting with, for instance, "Is it below 42nd St?" and "Is it east of 5th Avenue?", etc.
  6:16pm Moses:

is it kosher for passover?!?!?
  6:17pm Philo Gristle:

Used to tap birch trees for the sap as kids. Tasty.
  6:17pm Caryn:

Is the envelope on a street or an avenue?
  6:17pm Matt from Springfield:

That's how you do it, Close Listener!
  6:18pm glenn:

fuck kosher. maple syrup beats kosher like a baby seal.
  6:18pm kat330:

@Caryn: He said he was getting no responses using :JT:: (I suggested the colons put people off), so Buttons Gwinnett inspired him to the PG.
  6:18pm Caryn:

Also: is it indoors or outdoors? Seriously, people, narrow things down strategically!
  6:19pm kat330:

Glenn, glenn PLEASE have some supper -- or tea if that's your timeline! :)
  6:19pm Philo Gristle:

I've been de-colonized.
  6:20pm Matt from Springfield:

Narrowed a bit too quickly--maybe is it in A park?
  6:20pm Caryn:

@kat: but now he's totally PG. Come on, go for at least R rated!
  6:21pm Matt from Springfield:

Is it in a place of business?
  6:22pm Philo Gristle 13:

This is going to be bad luck.
  6:23pm Caryn:

@Philo: go for NC-17!
  6:23pm kat330:

@Caryn: JT doesn't do blue well. Afraid I'm the x-rated in this household.
  6:23pm Close Listener:

Folks, the next question should be "Is it south of Canal Street?" or "Is it east of Broadway?" And so on...
  6:23pm Matt from Springfield:

It's in a locker at a train station!!
Andy B, "Rat Race" ref :)
  6:24pm forked tongue:

No wait, actually the most dispiriting words heard on 7SD are "next week we're back at the UCB Theatre."
  6:25pm Matt from Springfield:

@FT: Or rather, "next week we're back"! ;)
  6:25pm Hunter:

Forked Tongue, fuck off.
  6:25pm miss cheri:

hey there caryn--good evening!
  6:25pm G:

Close Listener doesn't realize most people are simply neither logical nor systematic. Election results should tip you off about that, CL.
  6:25pm Philo Blue Gristle:

I'm wearing my gutter helmet for Andy.
  6:25pm G:

ut oh
  6:26pm Close Listener:

Binary search, you dopes! http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Binary_search
  6:27pm G:

a hostile Hunter with a miss cheri chaser. Buckle your seat belts, it could be a bumpy ride.
  6:27pm mike noble in nyc:

are men allowed to apply for the job?
  6:27pm Caryn:

Next week: cat night! The week after that: matt night. Then: fat night. Then: rat night. Then: gat night. Then: vat night. Then: pat night. Then: DAT night. Then: SAT night.
  6:27pm kat330:

@glenn: Arrrrggghh, you have my FULL permission to continue being peckish.
  6:28pm G:

sure, mike -- lop it off and apply
  6:28pm Close Listener:

Alas, G, so true...
  6:28pm Philo Gristle:

There's a target for a good hunter.
  6:28pm Matt from Springfield:

@Caryn: Better clear my schedule two weeks from now...
  6:29pm Hunter:

I am only hostile to people who deserve it. Period.
  6:29pm G:

@CL: Just keepin it real, dawg. Sad but true.
  6:29pm mike noble in nyc:

but i'm already on show staff! do i get to keep my little bishop?
  6:29pm joey:

it's at the ANthology Film Archives
  6:30pm Maximilian:

this is a great time on this showing
  6:30pm kat330:

@mike: Your "little bishop"? Is that a euphemism?
  6:31pm Caryn:

I gotta say, I'm kinda curious about what the one Andy-penned line in "IQ" is...
  6:31pm G:

if you're obedient staff, it's already been removed. have you looked lately?
  6:31pm mike noble in nyc:

well, if you listen to shut up weirdo, you know they call me mike no-balls.
  6:32pm Maximilian:

what is it what will happen is it made of gold or platinum?
  6:32pm G:

you started that, mike. so maybe that clears up my question :-P
  6:32pm glenn:

what hunter said.
  6:33pm Matt from Springfield:

It's in the East Village--any other narrowing questions??
  6:33pm Caryn:

Having no balls might make your "little bishop" seem bigger. Optical illusion, you know, Mike.
  6:33pm ?:

What has it got in it's pockets'ess??
  6:33pm kat330:

Staff? Little Bishop? Hard Bats? The blue stuff writes itself here.
  6:34pm G:

I have a closer question:

who cares?

  6:34pm Close Listener:

Teamwork, folks! Work the grid!
  6:34pm kat330:

Asking if Starbucks probably wouldn't narrow it down all that much.
  6:35pm Hunter:

Kat, LOL :)
  6:35pm Caryn:

@kat: well, if the answer is "it's not in a Starbucks", that would definitely narrow it down.
  6:36pm glenn:

  6:38pm Matt from Springfield:

Anthology Film Archives is east of 2nd Ave, it's not that..
  6:38pm Caryn:

Over here, "is it in a Starbucks" would definitely narrow it down. Since I think there are no Starbucks in the entire country. (One may have opened up a little while back, but reports are varied.)
  6:38pm kat330:

Books and books and books, galore!
  6:39pm Philo Gristle:

Is it in the mystery section? Near letter T?
  6:39pm Close Listener:

Is it in a book? In the fiction section? Does the author's last name start with a letter than comes before "M"?
  6:39pm Matt from Springfield:

Is it in a post office?
  6:39pm Mark:

If I had asked a question, I also would have asked whether it was at the Strand. Don't know why, but it was the first thing that came to mind in that area.
  6:40pm kat330:

In a "Monk" book?
  6:40pm Caryn:

Has Andy written any books?
  6:41pm Philo Gristle:

If a Monk book, I think Lee Goldberg wrote those..
  6:41pm Matt from Springfield:

Is it the Bookstore Strand--I was wondering what they meant.
  6:41pm Close Listener:

Yes, Matt, it's the bookstore.
  6:42pm Caryn:

If it was non-fiction, I'd look for the Darrell Hammond autobiography (last week shout-out!), but as it is, go for the Monk books!
  6:42pm Close Listener:

Does the author's last name start with a letter that comes before "F"?
  6:43pm moose:

i'm trying to convince my friend to go over but she won't do it and she's not even that far
  6:43pm kat330:

So Andy was late because he was stranded at the Strand?
  6:43pm glenn:

i can't think of any finnish mystery writers off the top of my head, but i do love jo nesbo (norwegian) and arnaldur indridason (icelandic}
  6:43pm Caryn:

Do the store personnel know the money is there, and have they ensured an ordinary customer hasn't found it already? Because if someone has already bought the book, that would put a spanner in the works.
  6:44pm Caryn:

@glenn: most of the big Finnish mystery writers are after K in the alphabet...
  6:45pm kat330:

@Caryn: Hey, Caryn, is "Iron Sky" opening near you soon?
  6:45pm Philo Gristle:

none that have been translated... that I know of. Tapani Bagge wrote good books and I started translating one for our pub. co. but too much work...
  6:46pm G:

The prize is a message on a slip in a 1986 diet book stating: "Drink More Ovaltine"
  6:46pm Caryn:

Andy said it was before K, but then Ken and Andy said it was below K, and that to me means after K. So which one is it?

@kat: it opened last Friday (I don't know if it's in our town yet)
  6:46pm kat330:

@JT: There's Leena Krohn that we published.
  6:48pm Philo Gristle:

Carl Hiaasen! Good pick. Leena Krohn is great and mysterious, but not mystery.
  6:49pm kat330:

I'd like to see Kathy Katy show up as Drew's competition.
  6:49pm glenn:

has anybody been to bouchercon?
  6:50pm Philo Gristle:

Not us, even though it was next door a few years back in Indiananpolis.
  6:51pm Caryn:

Ask a clerk, people!
  6:51pm G:

Apparently Thre Bible is filed under Fiction, then.
  6:51pm kat330:

Peckish Games!
  6:51pm Close Listener:

It's the very first book under "A"!!!!!
  6:51pm Caryn:

Maybe it means it's the first book on the shelf.
  6:52pm kat330:

@CL: I think you may be right.
  6:53pm mike noble in nyc:

  6:53pm Philo Gristle:

Too bad for Danne D.
  6:54pm glenn:

very last book.
  6:54pm kat330:

Maybe his name is Danne Drew.
  6:54pm Matt from Springfield:

Very first book under A!
  6:54pm kat330:

My money's with glenn.
  6:55pm miss cheri:

have a great night caryn, see you real soon!!
  6:55pm Caryn:

Forbidden Planet? Look for the last X-Men comic!
  6:56pm kat330:

Scene from Magic Christian.
  6:56pm Matt from Springfield:

Well partial success by the end of the episode!
And it was fun and somewhat interactive too!
  6:57pm Philo Gristle:

Watch out for the Krell.
  6:57pm Caryn:

It's easy to co-operate when the money is so easily divided into 2.
  6:57pm Philo Gristle:

Mad Dash!
  6:57pm kat330:

Awww....let down.
  6:57pm Matt from Springfield:

It's more than I expected (more than the $25 of the Western Union challenge)
But, certainly less than I hoped (when they said it would be more than I expected...!)
  6:58pm Matt from Springfield:

Last YEAR??!
Not the Darrell Hammond one, good guess though Caryn.
  6:58pm kat330:

Good evening everyone! Very fun show, A & K!
  6:58pm listener mark:

Hey Andy.
Hey Ken.
Thanks for the wiffle ball bat, the cops at the PATH station had a good laugh as they frisked me.
  6:59pm moose:

  6:59pm Matt from Springfield:

Good night commenters! It was enjoyable tonight.
  6:59pm aa:

the show worked!
  6:59pm Philo Gristle:

  7:00pm Caryn:

This was fun!
  9:22pm drewo:

Thanks Andy & Ken. The money (should the bank accept taped-together bills) will go towards my latest pledge.
  4:51am lz:

Was that Nachum calling in around 29:29?
  11:08pm Cheryl:

Hey Drew. That was fun. I'm glad you won. That's really decent of you to put the money toward a wfmu pledge.
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