Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from August 31, 2011 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options August 31, 2011: Tonight's Programme: The Seven Second Delay Insurance Company

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Seven Second Delay Insurance Policies
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Transmitter Outage Insurance: $10.01
Sucky Show Insurance: $10.02
On Hold Insurance: $10.03
Ken or Andy Life Insurance:$10.04
Hang-Up Insurance: $10.05
Ken Boiler Story Insurance:$10.06
Andy Will to Live Insurance: $10.07
UCB Guest Cancellation Insurance: $10.08

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Artist Track
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Listener comments!

  6:01pm Ken's Basement Albums:

glub glub glub glub glub
  6:02pm Matt from Springfield:

Hey, it's the other "Andy Breckman Man" song. I like this better because it's a piss-take..not so sure it would work every week though.
  6:02pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

*plays taps*
  6:03pm Danne D:

S'up Matt and Aaron?
  6:03pm Jewish Humour:

It was a 90-foot tree...but for you, 64 feet 7 inches.
  6:04pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Sure just ignore the basement albums, THEY HAVE FEELINGS TOO YOU KNOW
  6:04pm Matt from Springfield:

Hi Danne!
How's your basement and/or minivan doing?
  6:06pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

A treehugger van
  6:06pm GEICO Lizard:

Did you miss the "no coverage for annoying assholes" clause?
  6:07pm Danne D:

Sorry that your guillotine got destroyed, Ken
  6:07pm Matt from Springfield:

After all, if the records are in Ken's basement, they're WFMU <REJECTS>, and therefore they mustn't be that great.
  6:08pm Vaporizer:

The flood destoryed Ken's me.
  6:09pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

I think WFMU plays nothing but rejects
  6:10pm Ken's Drowned Basement Albums:

We had some Kinks in us, too, but unplayable now.
  6:13pm Passaic River:

I've lost the will to flow. FLOOD TIME, hike up your skirts!
  6:14pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

I am still curious about these unmentionable machines.
  6:14pm drunken monkey:

Acts of God... not payable!
  6:17pm Dan and Joel:

You need better ads.
  6:18pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

I've got my insurance.
  6:19pm drunken monkey:

Does the 'Sucky Show Insurance' cover today's episode?
  6:20pm SPIKE:

I just bought insurance.
  6:20pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

I'm pretty sure I will be able to file a claim soon.
  6:20pm Robert:

People are sooo going to try to trip up Ken on the boiler policies.
  6:20pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

I hope this works out better than the forever stamp investment.
  6:21pm Ken's Volcano Vaporizer:

Wish my owner woulda got some insurance for me.
  6:22pm Mike East:

This has nothing to do with your topic, but my wife and I were watching Arthur 2 last night. We were enjoying it, up until the last 20 minutes or so. It seemed like the writers just gave up. What happened?
  6:23pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

I am getting in to that guest cancellation deal, that seems highly likely
  6:23pm Robert:

Cf. "Lost".
  6:24pm Robert:

Oh, I get it...Ken's going to talk about nothing but his boiler until someone insures vs. it.
  6:26pm Matt from Springfield:

Don't forget your 3-digit security code on the back of the card, Andy! It won't let you donate until you SPEAK IT ALOUD!
  6:26pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Sent! Tell me if it went through
  6:27pm drunken monkey:

Yes Ken, please turn off the mics!
  6:28pm alberto:

WNYC
  6:28pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

WNYC is the station in case anyone was wondering
  6:29pm Evan from Emeryville:

Mister Mxyzptlk! "In most of his appearances in DC Comics, he can be stopped only by tricking him into saying or spelling his own name backwards (Kltpzyxm - "kel-tip-zix-um"), which will return him to his home in the 5th dimension and keep him there for a minimum of 90 days."

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Mister_Mxyzptlk
  6:29pm Matt from Springfield:

And speaking of weev, I think it was an elaborate plot by Ken to abuse the commenters. Two visual-only UCB Mystery Guests to annoy listeners and commenters, and then inviting a professional troll and his army of trolls to abuse the commenters! I get your game Ken!
  6:31pm Danne D:

Kinda insulted that I was consulted. I mean just because I haven't worked in the actuarial profession for 12 years. *hurumph*
  6:32pm Matt from Springfield:

I went back and listened to the UCB episode--all the guests were actually quite good, including weev. It's the 13 year old assholes who are the despicable ones (I hope they're rotting in the Essex County jail!)
  6:33pm giraffe-o:

Hot water heater
  6:35pm Mary from North Carolina:

I bought sucky show insurance. What exactly does this get me?
  6:35pm Hunter777:

The nude beach at Sandy Hook is flooded out as we speak
  6:35pm giraffe-o:

Mister_Mxyzptlk : dumbest villain ever. And a symptom of why Marvel is so much better than DC.
Hey Evan - I am from Emeryville! Tho I'm listening to the stream in Sydney right now. It is 8:30am
  6:35pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

I would pay for Spike insurance.
  6:35pm Matt from Springfield:

Not true, Spike was actually right about the cough in "Wendy" a few weeks ago. Though it could have been a lucky guess...
  6:36pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Did mine go through?
  6:39pm Matt from Springfield:

And George W. Bush got a presidential guitar far away from the flood, in Arizona! It was a barrell of laughs!
  6:41pm Danne D:

I actually had an interview with AIG after I got out of college. It was unlike any other company. I didn't get past the secretary downstairs.
  6:42pm drunken monkey:

The automatic hang-up from Ken : tell him you think "Monk" was the greatest TV show in history
  6:43pm Matt from Springfield:

@Danne: How is that an interview then? They wouldn't let you in the office but talked to you in the downstairs lobby?
  6:43pm Robert:

Traditionally (no idea whether it's still in force) to get hung up on just requires saying Andy is funnier than Ken. In reality, Andy is the funny one on the show, but in my experience, it's Ken who makes the SHOW funny.
  6:43pm Boo:

Can I get this for a home policy with Andy?
  6:43pm Dan and Joel:

Is this like that Kars-4-Kids "scamming the goys" thing?
  6:44pm Boo:

No mini van
  6:44pm greg in portland:

Andy: "What do you ride on, Ken"
Ken: "Da spare."
  6:46pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

HAS MY PLEDGE GONE IN FOR THE THIRD TIME???????? IS THERE A POLICY FOR NOT RESPONDING TO COMMENTS
  6:46pm Boo:

the kids are listening
  6:47pm Matt from Springfield:

@Andy: Blurting it out on 7SD is hardly revealing--the kids wouldn't be listening to this.
Wait, actually, is ANYONE listening to this right now?
  6:47pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

You should have gotten pledge insurance.
  6:48pm Matt from Springfield:

See, Ken has enough confidence that no one's listening to reveal your utmost secrets on the air.
But, I think he would do that anyway...
  6:48pm SPIKE:

I just bought the UCB policy (under my real name). You just announced it,
  6:48pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

No kidding, WFMU is a SCAM, A SCAM I TELL YOU
  6:50pm Danne D:

Yeah it was like with the personnel person who obviously was a screener based on how I didn't even get upstairs.

Example of tone (this is back in the day when nobody had heard of Fantasy Football - I had listed it as a hobby) AIG Person: "Oh, you play football?" - Actuaries aren't exactly noted for being aggressive - that was what AIG was looking for though. Worked for them for a long time (they'd get paid off on things like being the first company in Poland after communism fell, long before anyone else for example). That said, it isn't totally surprising what happened.

I happen to agree with the "too big to fail" assessment of AIG, btw. It's a huge reinsurer (reinsurers basically insure insurance companies - it's a means of spreading risk on big policies)
  6:51pm Right-Wing Think Tank:

@Aaron: WFMU is a Ponzi Scheme--you will never actually see any of the money you pay into it. You merely receive a fantastic, unique, freeform radio station with cutting-edge DJs and creative shows. And DJ premiums. And a website with an awesome blog. And..
  6:52pm Danne D:

Surprised about the unpopularity of the Hang-up policy. All you gotta say is that you like Andy better than Ken.

As a total coincidence, 19 years ago today was the first day of my first job after college (the aforementioned actuarial job).
  6:54pm Matt from Springfield:

@Danne: Interesting how that went.
  6:56pm Danne D:

wasn't a place I woulda been a good fit for but I admit I respected it as a company at the time I interviewed.
  6:56pm Matt from Springfield:

"Almost Cut My Hair": Great song, or GREATEST song?
  6:57pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

Ok apparently I was doing it wrong, everyone can mock me now
  6:58pm Dan and Joel:

Aaron is an internet incompetent, neener neener
  6:59pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

Yer doing it wrong
  6:59pm Danne D:

Have a fun rest of the week everyone :)
  6:59pm Matt from Springfield:

Have a good night everyone!
  7:00pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

YOU CALL THAT MOCKING, NARDWAR PLAY ME OUT
  7:00pm kat330:

You, too!
  7:09pm Aaron in Minneapolis:

oh and have a good week, I guess
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