Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from June 13, 2018 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options June 13, 2018: Andy stands in for your shitty dad!

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Listener comments!

Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:01pm dale:

my dad has been dead for 28 years - can andy stand in for him?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:01pm PMD:

Woo hoo! #1!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:01pm dale:

pmd - wah waaaaaah.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:01pm PMD:

Will Andy stand in for my sugar daddy?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:02pm PMD:

@dale sigh. yes. At least I'm #1 in my world
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:03pm dale:

....as it should be.
  Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:04pm Listener Robert:

Dale, Andy stands in great for dead people.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:04pm Sebastian:

good evening!
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:04pm queems:

oh boy
Avatar Wed. 6/13/18 6:05pm lent cake:

dont drive those Mikes unless its necessary,,,
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:05pm queems:

my dad used to give us juicy fruit! it's working already!
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:05pm Sebastian:

Juicy Fruit is the worst
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:05pm PMD:

Juicy fruit flavor lasts for about 5 bites
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:06pm PMD:

But it's great while it lasts!
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:06pm Fred:

Ken ask Andy for a piece of gum for Ron....laterRon
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:06pm Ken From Hyde Park:

Happy Father's Day, all you dad's listening!
Avatar Wed. 6/13/18 6:06pm lent cake:

frutty juce is better
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:06pm Readie Righteous:

Does juicy fruit gum flavor still last for about 14 seconds?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:06pm herb.nyc:

remember FreshenUp gum? it had liquid in the middle. my friend called it CumGum.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:06pm Frank from Berlin:

Its gonna get dark soon!
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:08pm queems:

the only gum that lasts less time than juicy fruit is teaberry gum
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:08pm dale:

i liked fruit stripe gum better than juicy fruit.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:08pm PMD:

Ken that's great advice!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:09pm dale:

only time i did acid was on the tenth floor and i went out on to the fire escape. i swore i could fly but am sooooooo glad i didn't try.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:09pm queems:

my dad gave us fruit stripe gum too. he used to keep weird gums in his datsun pick up truck
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:09pm Frank from Berlin:

It's easier today with Spotify!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:10pm dale:

kenny g played that song and added little children laughing. it was disturbingly funny. if you'e sick and fucked up. like me. and probably kenny g.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:10pm Frank from Berlin:

woow! I miss his shows
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:10pm PMD:

How is Daisy's school experience going??
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:11pm noel:

Bad Mom's 2 had Kenny G.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:11pm Sebastian:

WFMU - we're meant to sound distorted <- save that for the next billboard
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:12pm dale:

zager and evans - odd that michael zager did disco hit 'let's all chant' as well/
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:13pm dale:

andy - you're almost the age my father was when he died. just sayin'....
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:13pm queems:

my dad is alive but if andy wants to put money in my checking account then i'm down
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:13pm noel:

Daddy left when I was two and died when I was sixteen. He's waiting for Trump in Hell.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:14pm Sebastian:

never knew my dad, never missed a thing as far as I know
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:14pm Brendan in Carroll Gardens:

I thought is was a bi-sexual motherless child hotline
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:15pm herb.nyc:

music: can you play some My Dad is Dead, plz?
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:16pm Morphe:

Words I never heard from father but I always say to my sons:"I love you... you are amazing"
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:17pm noel:

You love the potholes on 24
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:17pm PMD:

What happened to Andy's job?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:18pm dale:

my father once said 'did you use a rubber?'
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:18pm noel:

As usual it's a Hand Job.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:20pm Morphe:

Andy cannot do a hand job because he has no friends - not even those wee 5 stubby digits/friends
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:21pm noel:

Anything is possible in the masturbatorium
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:22pm noel:

blood?
  Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:22pm Listener Robert:

Noel, don't let the souvenir hunters know, but there's still a NJ 24 sign just south of Hackettstown on Cty 517 going towards Chester after NJ 57 splits off. They should never have de-designated Route 24 east of Chester anyway.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:23pm pinholga:

"Pammie's On A Bummer" might be the song with the most Andy/Ken overlap.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:23pm Chud:

this is pure gold
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:24pm Sebastian:

I kind of hope Andy's kids call in
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:24pm Linda Lee:

how can i possibly be this late tuning in? i could use a proxy father too!
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:25pm ultradamno:

I know the CIA helped at least one guy try to fly while on LSD. And he also was a dad who died.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:25pm queems:

WOW such sincerity
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:25pm Linda Lee:

isn't he amazing!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:25pm PMD:

I'm tearing up...
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:26pm Sebastian:

Andy is hamming it up pretty good!
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:26pm noel:

The "man" supplied a lot of chemicals to us back then Some good some not so good.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:26pm Linda Lee:

damn! a full switchboard! i have no chance!
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:27pm noel:

Andy can't even fake sincerity.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:28pm noel:

A steaming pile of happy horseshit. Love it.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:28pm dale:

andy could get a job on 770 wabc as host of 'surrogate father radio hour.' sponsored by kars for kids.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:28pm Elle Tor’s Husband:

wait... is this an Unclean Andy game pitch?
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:28pm noel:

What kind of Kar can you get for a kid?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:29pm dale:

a kiddie kar.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:29pm noel:

Just trade them in before the Amber Alert.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:30pm ultradamno:

I think the best most people need to hear from their dead dad is "you know, I was actually a prick to everyone, not just you"
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:30pm noel:

It's now pronounced Kida.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:30pm queems:

i'm drawing my dad a father's day card right now
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:31pm Linda Lee:

good work, queems!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:31pm Linda Lee:

Andy's pouring it on a bit thick now!
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:32pm ultradamno:

Hallmark movie of the week worthy!
Avatar Wed. 6/13/18 6:32pm lent cake:

self-obsession could be cured with acid therapy
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:32pm queems:

thanks linda!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:32pm mocherz:

Wow, what an episode!
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:32pm Sebastian:

Andy might be a fine televangelist some day
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:32pm dale:

my oldest sibling told me she asked my father why he had so many kids. his answer was 'i couldn't help it if your mother wanted to fuck so much.' soooooo...pretty sure by the time i came around they were over it.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:32pm queems:

andy breckman is america's dad
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:34pm Linda Lee:

there's our trouble right there ..
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:35pm noel:

He went outside on Christmas Eve fired a gun came back and told his kids Santa committed suicide.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:36pm Linda Lee:

alas, this won't work for me ~ Dad didn't chew gum.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:36pm PMD:

This is all kind of freaking me out. Andy's possessed.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:37pm PMD:

@Linda Lee you could mention that.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:37pm Sebastian:

this is truly amazing
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:37pm Linda Lee:

true!
  Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:37pm Listener Robert:

This stuff could get seriously poignant.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:39pm dale:

dad tried nicorette gum, but went back to a pack of kools a day.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:39pm Linda Lee:

two alcoholic parents? wow. as if one isn't enough!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:40pm Webhamster Henry:

The secret of success is sincerity. Once you can fake that you've got it made. - J. Giraudoux and many comics like George Burns.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:40pm noel:

How dry does you mouth get chewing Kools?
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:41pm queems:

ok this is weirding me out now
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:41pm Linda Lee:

almost wish i still identified as bisexual! darn!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:41pm dale:

andy's gonna make me cry. or it's pollen. whatever.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:41pm PMD:

If this episode is entered into the bot the 7SD program will explode.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:41pm Linda Lee:

a little bit of a pandora's box here for sure.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:41pm ultradamno:

It's weird to think he's always got this on tap.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:42pm Kelly Jones:

I am literally choking up every time Andy stands in for shitty dad. Who needs therapy????
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:42pm JakeGould:

May to June is one effing rollercoaster for me… Deaths, births, stupid Hallmark holidays reminding me of that stuff… And it weirdly all becomes a rollercoaster again in the winter when more deaths and births happen.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:42pm Webhamster Henry:

"You laugh, and you shed a little tear" - Andy Breckman
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:42pm Linda Lee:

just goes to show how *easy* it is to play sincere!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:43pm JakeGould:

@KellyJones: My dad was great. So if I called him and asked him to do something he could only make me think of my dad saying, “Who is this putz?”
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:43pm dale:

TESTICULAR CANCER. the king of the cancer ball.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:43pm queems:

oh my god
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:43pm noel:

Pancreatic may be shitty but it's no King.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:44pm PMD:

Andy for President!
Avatar Wed. 6/13/18 6:44pm lent cake:

is it me or Andy is reapeting?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:45pm dale:

remember - andy is a joke writer.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:45pm Sam:

Idea for a show: Just Andy, doing two characters. His normal sarcastic character, and this sweet sincere character. He could argue with himself, offend himself, scold himself, cry and then laugh at himself for crying, lots of potential there.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:45pm Linda Lee:

he's ironing out the routine.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:46pm JakeGould:

@dale: On his taxes!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:46pm JakeGould:

*rimshot* *crowd cheers* *people beg for calm* *riot ensues*
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:46pm RomanDogBird:

oh baby
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:46pm Sam:

Andy writes screenplays, so he's good at the zingers and he's also good at the tearjerker speeches. He's so slick, you never know what he's REALLY thinking.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:47pm popsicornia:

My father spent all of his time lying on a small bed, reading through copies of Readers Digest and listening to the Hammond Organ Hour or recorded bagpipe music on the the local farm radio station. I'm pretty sure that I'm repeating the performance with Harper's & WFMU.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:47pm ultradamno:

I'm just pleased he didn't whip out "god never asks you to bear more than you can carry"
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:47pm JakeGould:

@lentcake: That’s how he gets residuals!
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:47pm noel:

ED is organ failure
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:48pm queems:

pancreatic cancer really is one of the worst cancers
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:48pm dale:

yes - he also worked on the sgt bilko movie.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:49pm Sam:

Andy should become one of those psychics that relays messages from dead relatives. "He just wants you to know that he's always been with you and he's so proud of the beautiful person you've become, etc""
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:49pm noel:

What is a good cancer?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:49pm Linda Lee:

@Sam ~ sure sounds like the audition tonight!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:50pm PMD:

@noel, one you can easily cut out?
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:50pm JakeGould:

@Sam: The thing about being a psychic is you honestly can’t be a schlumpy guy.
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:50pm ultradamno:

Like a light, early-detected sarcoma?
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:51pm noel:

PMD sounds like an ex-friend.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:51pm JakeGould:

Maybe this is an idea… Get a really lovable service dog. And then “interpret” what the dogs feels about you. Now THAT is a gig!
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:52pm noel:

Fake Dad a new cartoon show for Andy to do.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:53pm howard in nyc:

This side of Andy is just shocking. Who knew? I don't know which is more jarring, if this is complete performance and his personality is devoid of such humility and sensitivity, or if this is a side of him fully hidden all these years by his radio persona.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:53pm noel:

Ken remove his shovel
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:53pm JakeGould:

Tonto pizza rolls are great!
Avatar Wed. 6/13/18 6:53pm lent cake:

@JakeGould: youre right, he's radiant
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:53pm Sam:

That's always been one of my biggest fears, that somebody I love would die suddenly when I was on the outs with them. I feel for Ken.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:54pm dale:

my mother was a slut. screwed around a bunch on my dad. when she passed i didn't cry or have those nasty persistent dreams. life isn't like a fairy tale.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:54pm Linda Lee:

gee, we need at least another hour..
Avatar Wed. 6/13/18 6:55pm lent cake:

@Linda Lee agree here
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:56pm dale:

"i can do this stuff. but it don't............."
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:56pm Sam:

We need someone to call in who's mad at their dad, and Andy will say this sweet stuff and the caller will be like "Whatever dad, you're so full of shit, I'm not falling for your act this time!"
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:56pm Kelly Jones:

I am having the best Father's Day! Andy should start a Father's Day Cult.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:57pm PMD:

Andy - Karma!
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:57pm noel:

I think Charlie Manson beat Andy, Kelly
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:57pm JakeGould:

OH NO!!! This is going to destroy things! TOO META!
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:58pm Sebastian:

nooo, enchore!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:58pm Linda Lee:

quixotic, prone to treachery, dishonest online .. :-D
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:58pm queems:

noooo
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:58pm Sebastian:

this can't end now
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:58pm noel:

A Merry Prankster
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 6:58pm ultradamno:

My dad could talk like this but it was always prelude to some petty manipulation.
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:59pm Linda Lee:

too darn short, this one.
  Wed. 6/13/18 6:59pm Keith from Oregon:

Andy, I'm absolutely gobsmacked. Who knew? Your schtick is no sensitivity & no humanity. I honestly don't know if this is just performance, or if you're this sensitive in reality. Wow!
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 6:59pm Linda Lee:

can't say i'm unhappy i was never a parent! :-D
Avatar Swag For Life Member    Wed. 6/13/18 7:00pm Sebastian:

great one, Ken & Andy, thank you!
  Wed. 6/13/18 7:00pm Sam:

Never trust a good writer
  Wed. 6/13/18 7:00pm Readie Righteous:

Awesome
Avatar Swag For Life Member Wed. 6/13/18 7:00pm howard in nyc:

What a great episode. No insurance payout on this one.
  Wed. 6/13/18 8:20pm em2c:

this was Andy Kaufman-level awkward... I alternately hated and loved this episode... well done.
  Sat. 6/16/18 12:48am Listener Brett from Toronna:

This is an absolute classic. One of the best
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