Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from September 14, 2011 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw. (Visit homepage.)

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Options September 14, 2011: Texting Contest

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Artist
Ken & Andy: Texting Contest 

Listener comments!

  Wed. 9/14/11 6:05pm kat330:

Moi!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:05pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Hello everyone!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:05pm G:

Show Prep Time Begins
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:06pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Grant's Tome
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:06pm G:

Tomb is what they erect above a show episode THAT DIED.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:07pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Should Ken & Andy be buried in Grant's Tome?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:07pm G:

Ken personally prefers songs with maladies.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:07pm Jasperodus:

@kat330: Tu? Or Finnish for Hello?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:08pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

Waiting to submit a claim for the will to live insurance.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:08pm MISTER JOHNNY:

Who is the Claims Adjuster?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:09pm kat330:

Let me Finnish, bocoors.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:09pm G:

Ken, he adjusts them into his deleted file.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:10pm MISTER JOHNNY:

How about radio for the deaf, dumb, and blind?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:10pm Pete T.:

that plays a mean pinball?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:11pm MISTER JOHNNY:

I don't think pinball would work on the radio.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:12pm Bob the Shark:

Mmmmm... Finns. White meat. Tastes like chicken.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:12pm kat330:

From the Lullville environs of Hoosierland, we're pleased NYC was safe and sound this past weekend.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:13pm I AM BECOME DEATH - THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Whatever...
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:13pm Yoko:

Circling the drain. Circling the drain. Circling the drain. Circling the drain. Circling the drain. Circling the drain. Circling the drain. Circling the drain. Circling the drain.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:14pm I AM BECOME DEATH - THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=f94j9WIWPQQ
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:14pm seang:

great song!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:14pm Ono:

Draining the circle. Draining the circle.Draining the circle.Draining the circle.Draining the circle.Draining the circle.Draining the circle.Draining the circle.Draining the circle.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:15pm Conrad:

Little Charlie & The Nightcaps are from Sacramento, California sez wiki.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:16pm Danne D:

I am become Breckman, destroyer of careers.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:17pm I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HJr-6i00D-A&feature=related
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:17pm Biff:

Why are you guys hung up on this shit?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:17pm Yoko:

Maybe mowadays "circling the drain means "rimming" in Japan.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:18pm kat330:

Yeah, and if you'd just searched them out and boosted them two months ago, they'd still be alive....
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:18pm You Guys:

"Hung up" is WHAT WE DO.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:18pm Jasperodus:

I hate mowadays. Grass sucks.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:19pm Mister Rogers:

You can never go down the drain.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:19pm Danne D:

Sounds like ZZ Flop
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:19pm Paul M.:

"Circling the Drain" has more covers than "Yesterday."
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:20pm Danne D:

I predict he rhymes it with Herman Cain
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:20pm ScottC:

"stain"
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:20pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

God, this is bad radio.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:21pm Paul M.:

Circling the drain
Hurtin' my brain
Against my grain
Gotta refrain
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:21pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Is there a blues vaccine?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:22pm kat330:

What's that stain?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:22pm the glowing one:

Katy Perry - Circle The Drain New Song 2010
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=lbWVd2poWZ4
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:22pm Paul M.:

You guys already kiilled 35% of the show. EXCELLENT!!!!!!!!!!!!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:22pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

This show is circling the drain...please flush again!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:23pm Bob the Shark:

@kat330: The stain was left by the Finns.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:23pm moose:

i just got here are we supposed to be doing something?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:23pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

I feel that we have slipped of the track here somehow.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:23pm Paul M.:

The show has gotten stuck on the side of the bowl. Get the brush.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:24pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

This show is such a big turd, its gonna clog the turlet.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:24pm kat330:

Scatology, my favorite humor!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:26pm Ah You:

Sounds like I'm listening to two guys doing google searches. Oh wait. Can anyone recommend another radio stream?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:26pm slab:

I am going to watch the movie Red tonight staring Bruce Willis.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:26pm Paul M.:

Show secret: If you have a 30 minute idea for a 60 minute show, stall for the first half hour, then start.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:27pm kat330:

@slab -- sorry 'bout that....
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:27pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Now, Ken & Andy have become comedy death, the destroyers of fun...
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:28pm Paul M.:

Thier theme song: "That's NOT Entertainment"
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:28pm kat330:

What if we can't text, huh? What about that?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:29pm Paul M.:

then drop dead
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:29pm Cyndi Lauper:

That's not funny, Andy & Ken!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:29pm Bob the Shark:

Then we eat. Or stare at Bruce Willis.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:30pm Paul M.:

why would anyone be a smart aleck on THIS show?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:30pm kat330:

@Paul M.: Good idea.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:31pm kat330:

"Under Canada" (attribution, Robin Williams)
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:31pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

How much insurance $$$ will Ken & Andy have to pay out for this show?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:31pm Paul M.:

it'll be the t shirt people ORDER THE LEAST
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:32pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Very inside baseball...
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:32pm Jasperodus:

One nation... under Canada. I can dig it.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:33pm redtruck:

im in canada, delayed text by at least 7 seconds, serious disadvantage.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:34pm Ike:

I almost sent "over God."
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:34pm Cramps:

Why don't you both die already?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:34pm Paul M.:

That texting idea took all of 7 minutes, verbose/repetitive instructions included
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:35pm the glowing one:

@cramps: they rather circle the drain a little more
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:35pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Hurt feelings show topic - great idea!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:35pm Conrad:

I thought the new motto was "We got Lionels coming out of our ass." Much better than that 'destroyer of worlds' one.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:36pm Danne D:

no memory of having starred atones for later disregard or keeps the end from being hard
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:36pm Paul M.:

two words:

THIS SUCKS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:37pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

DANNE D...what's up!!!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:37pm Danne D:

hmm I wonder if I still have that cell number from that marathon...too bad I promised not to use it after beating the joke to death for a week :)
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:38pm kat330:

Hey, Danne D, -- damn?!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:38pm Premise Police:

An entertainment process needs tension.

For people to feel tension, they need to care what the outcome is.

FATAL FLAW FOUND.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:39pm Doot Doot:

Nardwuar, as annoying as he is is better than this. Geddy Lee at 7.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:39pm Danne D:

Hi NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS :)

Hi kat330 :) I haven't sent a text. Did they give a number to text to - was distracted by a coworker.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:39pm ScottC:

FCC on line 2 for you Ken - this has got to be some sort of violation...
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:39pm Ike:

Robert Frost makes it hard and keeps it hard. No wait... that's not what I mean....
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:40pm kat330:

Dunno, I tuned out since we have no texting ability in this Luddite household.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:40pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

"No memory of having starred atones for later disregard, or keeps the end from being hard."

That's disgusting.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:40pm FCC:

Since there is NO REDEEMING SOCIAL VALUE IN THIS, we have determined that is IN FACT OBSCENE
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:41pm Danne D:

depends on what end is hard I guess, NIABD,TDOW
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:41pm kat330:

I thought Frost made it small?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:41pm 4379:

still on hold..................
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:41pm FCC:

I've been in the office since 8AM, I know from having a HARD END
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:42pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Anyone heard any good jokes lately?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:43pm Danne D:

I am become dead air, destroyer of wills
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:43pm kat330:

As too often, the playlist surpasses the K&A patter in entertainment this week (IMHO, bocorrs).
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:44pm FCC:

@NOW: Not since 6:01.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:44pm Danne D:

at least he didn't do the tom and jerry version of Froggy Went A Courtin' c-c-c-c-c-c-c-crambone
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:44pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Did you hear about the moyel who didn't charge for circumcisions?

He only took tips!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:44pm Bob the Shark:

If he swims, I am become destroyer of Bruce Willis. Talk about RED.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:45pm Danne D:

"Can't play the guitar with a guitar, string nephew! Now where's that cat?!?"
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:45pm Henry Youngman:

That "he had a hat" joke is terrible. Maybe I need to be an unfunny old Jewish woman like Andy to get it.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:45pm FCC:

Listening to these two chew pizza in silence would be more belly-laugh inducing
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:45pm Danne D:

Cut and Paste radio
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:45pm kat330:

Lyric connecting Irwin to this, um, this whatever it is: "All good dreamers pass this way someday, hidin' behind bottles in dark cafes."
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:45pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

I dozed off for a minute there
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:45pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Mo the moyel came home very nervously. He had just performed an adult circumcision and his hand still shook violently.
Fearing the end of his career, he quickly called his cousin, Aaron, an insurance broker by trade. "Listen," said Mo, "is there such a thing as malpractice insurance for moyels?"

"I've never heard of that before," said the insurance broker, "but let me check. Give me twenty four hours."

The next day, Aaron called back his cousin Mo, and said, "Eureka! Lloyds of London will insure you for $2,000,000. The premium is only four hundred a year. That's the good news."

"And the bad news?" asked Mo.

"There's a two-inch deductible!"
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:45pm froggie:

the problem is that the original song is "frog", so cheaters and nerds will have a hard time.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:46pm Danne D:

I am become death, teller of jokes.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:47pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Did you hear about the blind moyel? He got the sack!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:47pm slab:

I am going to check out everything there is to know about the movie Red starring Bruce Willis on Imdb prior to watching. I will even read about the trivia and the movie goofs
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:47pm Cramps:

I think I deserve a t-shirt for having lasted this long listening.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:47pm Julie:

I forgot what day it was did I miss great stuff
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:47pm Danne D:

So, Ken and Andy - is there a grand prize amongst the texters in the winner's circle?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:48pm Danne D:

you missed an, um, classic, Julie...truly
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:48pm kat330:

@ slab: My tip is to watch "Reds" instead.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:48pm Gramps:

I deserve more than a t-shirt for lasting this long. Maybe a new set of teeth.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:48pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Shlomo wants to buy a parrot and goes to a pet shop to see what they have.
The assistant shows him a parrot and explains that this one is really quite special - it can speak most languages. So Shlomo decides to test this out.
"Do you speak English?" asks Shlomo.
"Yes," replied the parrot.
"Hablas Espanol?" asks Shlomo.
"Si," replied the parrot.
"Parlez vouz Francais?" asks Shlomo.
"Oui," replied the parrot.
"Sprechen sie Deutsch?" asks Shlomo.
"Ja," replied the parrot.
Shlomo pauses for a while, then
asks the parrot, "Do you speak Yiddish?"
The parrot shrugs its shoulders and says, "Nu? Vis a nose like dis,
vot you tink?"
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:49pm FCC:

It's 6:48. That's 80% of an hour.

Math probloem: What's 80% of zero laughs?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:50pm hamburger:

please nominate this show for a peabody award
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:50pm Listener Dave from Seattle:

I actually really like how WFMU has turned into guys handing out in the studio and talking about whatever.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:50pm Jasperodus:

How about a peabrain awards?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:50pm FCC:

Please nominate this show for a Nobody Award.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:51pm Danne D:

That's so cute, Andy thinking the winners aren't onanistic loners
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:52pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Come on, DANNE D, where's your compassion?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:52pm kat330:

Danne or anyone: Is there an easy way to search the 7SD archives for a specific show? I'd like to see if they have the one where I actually called in. [Search terms: brush with the famous / Jeff Goldblum]
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:52pm J. Levine:

Dude, dude! you guys should totally youtube videos of cats doing stupid things and describe them to us!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:52pm Julie:

Doesn't Colbert sing that song?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:52pm Danne D:

4 score and 7 texts ago, our forefingers brought forth on this continent a new iphone
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:53pm hamburger:

for tomorrow: guys.. you would never believe what I heard on the radio last night... this guy was describing how he typed '"froggy went a courtin'" with his FORE FINGER.. o m g
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:53pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

Does anyone have a funny moyel joke?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:53pm Danne D:

They have archives Kat - the titles are shown which might be your best hope.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:54pm kat330:

Kiitos!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:55pm Danne D:

@kat did you comment that day? If you remember your comment maybe you can like websearch that and find it that way?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:55pm GE Smith:

[making awesome guitar player groovin' faces, look how bending the strings makes me grin]
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:55pm FCC:

Thank god about the time, the complaint emails to us about this episode will subside in the next few minutes.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:55pm Danne D:

There's a show from '08 called "As Famous as Andy" - perhaps that's the one, Kat?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:55pm Julie:

ewwwwwwww
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:55pm Noyel Joke:

A woman gets on a bus with her baby. The bus driver says: "That's the ugliest baby that I've ever seen. Ugh!" The woman goes to the rear of the bus and sits down, fuming. She says to a man next to her: "The driver just insulted me!" The man says: "You go right up there and tell him off – go ahead, I'll hold your monkey for you."
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:56pm alberto (0527):

woo hoo!!!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:56pm kat330:

Yeah, it was about Goldblum and I (and others from Neighborhood Playhouse) and, um, Sunshine.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:56pm Danne D:

Masturbation Station pretty much was the only place this trainwreck of a show was bound to end up at.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:57pm kat330:

Nope, it was much earlier. Maybe between 2002-2005. "Tell us your story involving someone famous."
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:57pm hopey:

Damn. Missed another show. I always seem to catch the last few minutes.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:57pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

I wonder if Ken & Andy masturbate into the tee shirts before they mail them to the winners?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:57pm tim:

@kat Try this in google
"Seven Second Delay" your search terms site:http://wfmu.org/playlists/shows/
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:58pm Danne D:

Maybe this one?
June 23, 2004: The No-Tune-Out Celebrity-Spotting Show | Listen: RealAudio
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:58pm kat330:

A great big pixel hug to whomever gets the show pinned down first! :)
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:58pm Bobby:

Why couldn't Sally ride a bike? Because Sally had cerebral palsy.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:59pm the glowing one:

project in LA, hm? is that an euphemism for "becoming a porn star"?
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:59pm NOW, I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS:

"Pump the water out of your basement?"

Sounds like a masturbation euphemism.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:59pm Danne D:

:) well I'm guessing that the 6/23/04 show is the one. No comments board though.

Anyhow, Have a good night everyone :)
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:59pm Ken's Salvaged Vinyl:

Come on, hey now, we're way less waterlogged than this episode!!!!!
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:59pm PMD:

Crap, I thought it was UCB week. I didn't tune in because of that.
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:59pm kat330:

@Danne -- nah, doesn't sound quite right. Something about listener's "brushes with the famous."
  Wed. 9/14/11 6:59pm Danne D:

This Nardwuar is a good one coming up :)
  Wed. 9/14/11 7:00pm alberto:

who's betty lee?
  Wed. 9/14/11 7:00pm Bobby:

How do you make an electrician cry?

Kill his family.
  Wed. 9/14/11 7:00pm Another Noyel Joke:

Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other guy whips out his phone and calls the emergency services. He gasps, "My friend is dead! What can I do?". The operator says "Calm down. I can help. First, let's make sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a gun shot is heard. Back on the phone, the guy says "OK, now what?"
  Wed. 9/14/11 7:00pm Danne D:

Nobody Doesn't Like Geddy Lee
  Wed. 9/14/11 7:00pm hopey:

I less than three Narwaur.
  Wed. 9/14/11 7:00pm slab:

I had to now think and remember if I have masturbated wearing the 7sd shirt without realizing it. Must have happened
  Wed. 9/14/11 7:00pm Danne D:

I've now made that joke in two different forums (the Bengals signed a guy named Donald Lee today)
  Wed. 9/14/11 7:00pm ?:

geddy lee doesn't drum dudes
  Wed. 9/14/11 7:01pm J Levine:

Another steaming heap of dung. Well done.
  Thu. 9/15/11 8:32am Archive Listener Frank:

Yesterday was Joey Heatherton's birthday.
  Fri. 9/16/11 9:51pm Nell Purt:

Many have tried to set up vocal mics around me, but they get lost in my kit.
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