Options Seven Second Delay with Ken and Andy: Playlist from March 9, 2011 Options

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Ken and Andy further lower WFMU's already abysmal standards as the program enters its death throes. Stunt radio which subjects the radio audience to concepts and topics which mature adults should not have to endure. Find the fatal flaw.

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Options March 9, 2011: Marathon 2011 Week Two: The Wheel of Fate

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The Seven Second Delay Magical T-Shirt!


Wear it and if Ken and Andy see you,
they will hand you $2 on the spot!
(Offer good once per day per person. Layer multiple shirts for higher payouts.
Shirt is as pictured, Men's cut, on Black 100% cotton)


Every $15 pledger gets the punchline to this joke:

"How do you get a WFMU DJ off of your porch?"

Everybody pledging $15 or more is invited to the Seven Second Delay Bar Night on March 23rd -8pm, after the UCB show - at BillyMarks, at 29th and 9th in New York City, and Ken and Andy will buy you two drinks.

For every $1000, Andy and Ken spin the wheel of fate.

Once they hit the $8000 mark, it's guaranteed that either Andy OR Ken will get their nipple pierced live onstage at the March 23rd UCB show. Ken and Andy will pass the "hot nipple-piercing potato" every thousand dollars.

Here are the items on the Wheel of Fate tonight:

Ken and Andy play Pot Roulette onstage at the UCB on April 20.

Andy has to sing the Don McLean song "Vincent" at the marathon finale Sunday Night.

Ken or Andy have to disrobe and have FMU volunteers stroke them and say positive, encouraging things like "Andy, you're so powerful."

Ken has to record a political endorsement for Sarah Palin and update it to youtube for 3 months, and donate $10 to her campaign. For Andy, it's Al Sharpton.

Andy gets a massage

Andy and Ken have to put on an Adult Diaper.

Andy and Ken get their back waxed

Recording / uploading a video confession of a crime Andy and ken have committed.

Andy Eating Oysters

Nick the Bard sticks his finger into Ken's navel.

Artist Track
Ken and Andy  Seven Second Delay: Wheel of Fate Edition!   Options

Listener comments!

  Wed. 3/9/11 6:01pm Carmichael:

I think Irwin said he made $4 mil. on his show. The bar's set pretty high, people.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:02pm Robert:

I SAID NO BODY MUTILATION!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:03pm PMD:

- So, the shirts are done!
- OUCH - nipple piercing no matter what??
- how is getting a massage bad?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:03pm lz:

I like these menu options!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:04pm lz:

It's "yield", not "cede", Andy.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:04pm Cam Viewer:

Nice outfits, gentlemen. Very upmarket.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:04pm Robert:

Seems like we passed the nonexistent expir'n date for Andy's not chewing gum on the air.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:05pm PMD:

When you watch the video, there's no delay?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:05pm Listener Julian:

I love the Wheel of Fate! And I hate nipples.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:05pm Gum:

nch-chm-ch-ch-ch-ch
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:05pm minnesota jeff:

@PMD - Andy doesn't seem like someone who would like to be touched.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:06pm HM Rep:

Isn't it Wheel O Fate?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:06pm Matt from Springfield:

Please be the Don McLean pease be the Don McLean please be the Don McLean please be the Don McLean....
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:07pm PMD:

So if Ken wears a shirt and so does Andy, at the same time, do they just pas $2 back and forth?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:07pm Robert:

Remember, if Ken disrobes, it's ANDY who suffers, because he's the one who can't stand seeing nudity, while Ken's family is casual about it.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:09pm Dylan:

Every Andy must get STONED!!!!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:09pm minnesota jeff:

Lets just hope the gov't changes the 1 dollar bill to a coin so they have lug coins around with themselves forever.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:10pm HM Rep:

"Breckman" fits better in the lyric, as it starts with B, no?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:10pm Matt from Springfield:

Andy's NEVER been stoned? I call bullshit. That many years on WFMU, of his generation, with a beard that thick (he may be Jewish, but still)...
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:11pm Pot Brownie Fatal Flaw?:

You are going to eat the brownies at least half an hour before the show actually starts, right?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:11pm Comedy Theorist:

On stonedness, Andy plays the straight man to Ken. On many topics, Ken plays the straight man to Andy.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:11pm Matt from Springfield:

Please land on Don McLean! Make Andy drive for hours from Boston to Maxwell's just to sing his nemesis' song!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:11pm Carmichael:

Starry starry Ken,
Paint your Breckman blue and grey,
Look out on a Jersey day,
With hands that are a'grubbin' for some cash.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:12pm Laurie:

That sounds more like a punishment to the phone room volunteers.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:12pm lz:

What does Ken's t-shirt say?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:13pm Laurie:

Iz: GOD HATES KEN.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:13pm Carmichael:

If Andy sings, God apparently DOES hate Ken.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:14pm Adult Diaper:

It all Depends.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:15pm Game Show Network:

This is "Wheel of Misfortune"
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:16pm Julian:

Nope, it's on confession
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:16pm Laurie:

Oh man, it's the Yo La Tengo wheel
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:17pm Body Language Expert:

Andy's always tightly crossed arms indicate defensiveness and distaste with his situation. Big news, huh.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:18pm Robert:

Nando, is that you?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:18pm Matt from Springfield:

Andy, put your best 2 minutes of stand-up first. Then you would repeat your act 6 2/3 times, with the strongest 2 minutes 7 times, and the weaker minute only 6 times.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:20pm Andy's Real Video Confession:

All of Monk was plagiarized from Conan Doyle.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:21pm PMD:

Andy just weasled since it's ex wife who would be prosecuted.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:22pm Andy's Real Video Confession:

@PMD: And you expected what?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:23pm Listener Julian:

"It's called bestiality, is what it's *called*!"
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:23pm FCC:

Bestiality at 6PM, NO PROBLEM THERE GUYS
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:25pm Robert:

I'm for no hurting, but bestiality's OK. As long as there's not a big size disparity.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:25pm Jim:

It's called buggery, too.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:25pm chris:

420 is *not* cal penal code for pot possession, sorry. Its just the time a group of kids from San Rafael high school met up to get high... for whatever reason, that has stayed with us
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:25pm Riddler:

How do you get an FMU DJ off your porch?

Look up directions to the nearest fleamarket for them.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:26pm HM Rep:

This might be the Mary Breckman: http://www.cdbaby.com/Artist/MaryMacGowan
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:28pm Lady whose check Andy cashed:

I am on medicare in the nursing home now, getting horrible treatment because I can't afford private care. Thanks for the fetid bedsores, you lowlife bastard.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:30pm mike noble 7sd:

no! what we found was a respected pig MODEL. we can't just pay to perform sexual acts on it!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:30pm OM:

So if we hit the Piggly Wiggly, we get videos right? Because I'm in Indiana and can't make it for the show.

And trust me: the Piggly Wiggly would be a big hit here in Indiana.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:31pm mike noble 7sd:

but i bet we could take andy to a farm where they're gathering pig semen from a stud.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:31pm mike noble 7sd:

but i bet we could take andy to a farm where they're gathering pig semen from a stud.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:31pm Porky:

Tap that piggy ass, mmmmmmhhhhhmmmm, sweet.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:32pm More fun facts:

Piggly Wiggly is a store. The board game is Uncle Wiggly, which is perhaps even more upsetting.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:32pm chris:

http://www.snopes.com/language/stories/420.asp
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:33pm Robert:

Is that all "disrobe" meant?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:33pm lz:

hahaha, did Ken just tell Nick to shut up?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:33pm Listener Terry:

Ken, UNCLE Wiggly is the board game, Piggly Wiggly is a supermarket chain.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:33pm Listener Julian:

Ugh, is that amnesty period still available? We need to unspin that wheel.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:34pm this hardly seems fair:

Can I donate to Karen?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:34pm Porky:

I call Happy Ending for Andy!!!!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:35pm Robert:

I call bullshit on Andy's stinking. What, like his shirt was holding the stench in?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:36pm Porky:

500 for an hour? that's not so bad. is that the Piggy GFE?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:37pm lz:

Andy is a little off Mic!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:37pm lz:

Thank you for standing up, Ken!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:38pm marq:

the shirt wasn't on the list we got in the mail for the swag for life people. did you have to go online to get the shirt? maybe it will be on sale to buy.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:41pm Suggestion Box:

If you hit the Andy pot threshold and the Andy piercing threshold, get him high first and then pierce him. That'd be fun.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:42pm Karen in Sleepy Hollow:

Listening from I-70 in Ohio driving cross country. This makes the crappy rain and traffic bearable.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:42pm Moyle:

Can I help?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:43pm marq:

if he gets high first he may want the piercing. he may even want a tattoo. isn't that what happens to people the first time they get high? they do dumb things like get pierced in strange places.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:44pm Suggestion Box:

@marq: or, he may get paranoid and freak
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:46pm mike noble 7sd:

the model pig i nearly booked would have come with a free piglet.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:47pm pot panic:

Marq,it sounds you're thinking of drunkenness?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:47pm K.O.:

Not going to pledge when the joke of the show is screwing a pig. C'mon.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:47pm Porky:

O, I see, lookist Andy only fucks cute pigs. No piggy mercy fucks for him.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:48pm Where did this pig idea come from?:

Seriously.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:49pm lz:

Deliverance.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:49pm Porky:

Bingo.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:49pm COSMIC MATRIX:

andy, please stop doing that to the headphone cable! OMG it's sabatoge!!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:51pm OM:

so is the show from Maxwell's going to be broadcast online?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:51pm Ike:

Speaking of Poco, is Clay Pigeon giving away any scratchy old Poco LPs during his show tomorrow night? If there are any sewage-covered ones in the basement, he should dig them out now and have them assigned a prize number.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:51pm Porky:

Hoof and Mouth? It's live on the air.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:52pm glenn:

just how orthodox is andy? i mean, he's not supposed to eat pig, but sex with one is okay?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:53pm Rebbi:

Andy is the Traifemeister General.
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:54pm POT ROULETTE!:

POT ROULETTE!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:54pm Rebbi:

Pot is kosher, oy!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:54pm lz:

FUNK YEAH, POT ROULETTE!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:55pm PMD:

So, Andy will be arrested for pot possession and for stealing in one place
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:55pm Rebbi:

No need for him to fake confess to old felonies, nu?
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:57pm lz:

Please, people, PLEDGE and MAKE IT HAPPEN! I already pledged all my money and then some!
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:58pm OM:

WFMU: your home for bloody nipples
  Wed. 3/9/11 6:59pm lz:

WHOOO HOOOOO! GO WFMU & 7SD FANS!
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:00pm Yay!:

What a satisfying show! I especially like the part where Andy's still yelling!
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:00pm Credit Card:

Pot, nipple piercing, and a totally hateful singing performance: Priceless.
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:00pm glenn:

a desperate andy is a funny andy.
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:00pm Ike:

I love it when Ken calls us wingéd monkeys.
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:01pm Miss Fortune:

So Andy hit the bad luck trifecta.
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:01pm PMD:

There had better be a web cam!
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:01pm Brian C.:

Plus Andy buys us 2 drinks on March 23, right?
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:02pm OM:

live stream! live stream! etc.
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:02pm Brian C.:

Plus Andy buys us 2 drinks on March 23, right?
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:04pm Robert:

Wrong camera for Ken's soothing!
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:07pm Robert:

If anybody's reading this, I just feel bad about permanent alterations of the bodies of people who give me pleasure and don't want said alterations.
  Wed. 3/9/11 7:08pm Robert:

If anybody's reading this, I just feel bad about permanent alterations of the bodies of people who give me pleasure and don't want said alterations.
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