The IBJ Website reveals what the papers dared not!
Ha, Ha, Ha - Ken Freedman laughs at
Jones and his dimestore sheers.
Oh if he only knew what's next!

Laughter quickly changes to concern as the diabolical
Mr. Jones slices feveroushly into the gray matter
that is Freedman's hair. What are they staring at?

EEEGADS! The evil hand of the IBJ
emerges and saturates Ken's dome
with a pukish, pinkish hue.

Ken can't take the pressure and bursts into tears
realizing that Jones is the puppetmaster
and the true ruler of WFMU.
"If ya ask me, I would have just chopped off
his freakin' head and used it as a cooler,
but that's just my opinion..."