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What's a Mook? |
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Many mooks exist in my life. It's hard to avoid them. You may wonder - what's a mook ? I've wondered the same in my time. See, the word "mook" - to me - is a very specific title for a very specific type of person. You may be thinking of a number of different kinds of bothersome flotsam when I say "mook" but what I have in mind is probably not what you think. A mook is a person who meets the following criteria: Mooks are overwhelmingly male. There are female mooks but they are a variation on the bimbo. Female mooks begin as bimbos who adopt their mook boyfriend or spouse's unique view of the world. Male mooks prefer the company of men. They'll have sex with women because it's the hetero thing to do. And mooks are certainly hetero. They are also - for the most part - closet cases ( but don't even suggest that, even in jest ). But they don't really like women. Okay, maybe mom. But no other woman comes close. Mooks are usually loud in public. The mook doesn't really care if you don't want to hear the sordid details of their meaningless lives. Mooks talk loud because they're far more interesting than you. Mooks consider themselves at the center of all things. The world exists for them. They are - at all times - doing the best thing a person can be doing. Mooks sing along to really horrible pop songs and never know the lyrics. Mooks don't read books. They don't know why anyone would, unless they're in school and there'll be a test. Mooks are heavy into professional sports. They wear their team loyalties proudly and can always converse with other mooks about the latest scores, trades, and so on. Mooks embrace media mooks like Rush Limbaugh. To them, he really knows where it's at. The mook's favorite comedian is Andrew Dice Clay. He was made by and for mooks. Mooks like talking about how drunk they got over the weekend. Mooks drive IROC Camaros and late-model Mustangs and Japanese sports cars with the windows tinted. Mooks are everywhere and making their presence known is their reason for living. Mooks don't include the words "empathy", "humility", "decorum", or "selflessness" in their vocabularies. |
