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My Funny Valentine |
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I should tell you before I start that I have no business talking about this matter. Since I attained puberty (almost twenty years ago) I've spent maybe two Valentine's Days with someone beside myself. So I can't say it's a big holiday for me - it's right up their with Arbor Day and Secretary's Day, as far as I'm concerned. But Valentine's Day is a big racket, it's big business and most folks are stuck for good ideas for a cheap date. I mean, if you're really in love with someone, does it matter how much money you spend on flowers, chocolates, fancy dinners, fancy motel rooms and the like? It shouldn't. The only thing that should matter is that you're with your lover, the person you treasure above all others. But you don't want to stay home, if you can help it, right? You want to be out there, out in the thick of it, enjoying life with your honey and then coming back home to a Marvin Gaye record and a bottle of Chianti. With that in mind and because most of my listeners are strapped for disposable income I thought I'd perform a valuable public service and help you come up with great cheap romantic spots in and around the city of Manahattan this Valentine's Day. I'll get us started with these: 1.The Staten Island Ferry - still only a quarter and you can ride all night under the stars. Ah, romance - and maybe a hot dog. 2.The Port Authority - so many things to see, so many people coming and going, the excitement, and there's even a bowling alley in there somewhere. Which brings me to my next suggestion: 3.Bowling. Frankly, bowling can be quite erotic, if you know what I mean and I think you do - all those pins and all those balls and that moment of release and that moment of impact - so why not take your honey down to the local lanes where a night of recreation is still pretty reasonable. 4.The top of the Empire State Building - especially if you can stand it outside - is quite a romantic place. You can make all sorts of promises to your baby that you'll never actually keep: "How'd ya like Bayonne, baby? What if I wuz ta just reach out and grap it fur ya" Would ya like dat, baby?' and stuff like that. 5.Central Park. It's still a lovely place, even in the winter, and the cold weather helps keep some of the potential murderers and rapists away. 6.The Museum of Natural History - is open late one night a week and is usually pretty empty on that night. And the entrance fee is a suggested donation. 7.Rockefeller Center - watch folks skate until you're dizzy - it's free! 8.The lobby of the Chrysler Building - an art-deco masterpiece and it doesn't cost you anything to look around. |
