2003   JULY 6   #187

Captain Hook & His Crew - Phone Call/Stowaway/Sharkey's Prayer

This pirate treasure was uncovered at a local thrift store. This pirate theme gospel album for kids has it all: a wise-cracking ventriloquist dummy named "Sharkey" who has a penchant for fat jokes, a crew of children with forced laughter, and even a "free eye patch" inside! This LP has no copyright date, but I would guess it was released in the mid-70's. It was released on Harbor Records (HLPS-126). The pirate is listed as "Von R. Saum" from Scott, Ohio.

From the album cover:

"Ahoy Matey!

Shiver my timbers! I can't wait for ye ole pirate crew to hear this album. It uncovers singing by a junior pirate choir, storytelling by the Captain's lady, and mystery phone calls, plus a treasure hunt.

Avast there, Fish Hook, Tadpole and Sea Swan are seamen first class on th' ole Gospel Ship. (They are the little mates on the record.) On land they be known as Vic, Vince and Valerie. We've sailed the high seas uncovering precious buried treasure to boy and girl mates. The richest, blessed treasure is Christ.

The 'ole captain lost an' arm an' leg in warfare, but is still stout 'arted in battle.

Mind this ye swabs - pull up to shore and drop anchor. Gather yer nets full of blessings. Ay, then "ANCHORS AWAY!" Chart yer course for Heaven!"

- Jef Stevens & Karl Hoffman

TT-5:46 / 5.3MB / 128kbps 44.1khz

(Image courtesy of Jef Stevens)

Bob writes:
Captain Hook & His Crew...amazingly weird video footage of this biker-turned-preacher can be seen on the PERVERSE PREACHERS, FASCIST FUNDAMENTALISTS, AND KRISTIAN KIDDIE KOOKS video. It was put together in the early '90s by the editor of Zontar magazine, who poured through endless hours of public access and news footage and collected all the best, weirdest, and scariest bits together. Copies can be ordered from: http://www.gravediggervideo.com/catalog.html